Piglet: How do you spell love?
Pooh: you don’t spell it. You feel it. -AA Milne
To this, most beloved quote I would add: ‘You feel it. You write about it.’ Meet my daughters Sufi and Soleil born June 22nd. It’s been a long and interesting journey leading up to their entrance into the world.
So much gratitude to the team @bazaarindia (Komal Sharma and Sitara) and in particular @nonitakalra for providing a sensitive platform for my writing. The September issue is on stands now. Hope you get a chance to read it. ‘I’m no longer ending at the limits of my skin. Where do I end and where do I begin?’ More to come with @bazaarindia down the line. Right now I’m in the middle of a feed and perfecting my one handed typing.
Image of Sufi and Soleil @dinophotography_georgia via @bazaarindia
‘Motherhood is like drilling into your heart. It’s also like trying to change your clothes in the middle of a roller coaster ride—new skills all the way. There’s a new level of anarchy and love in my life now, but also a fullness that’s hard to describe’ via @vogueindia
#thankyouuniverse #thankyoueveryone #MySouffle
@aligphoto @jomakeupartist @mariechantalchildren
Courtesy @bombaytimes:
‘Lisa shared, “Every new phase of life challenges my openness and the ability to adapt with each new experience.” Lisa and Jason have named their daughters Sufi — the mystic — and Soleil — the French word for ‘sun’. They were born via surrogacy in Tbilisi, Georgia, in June. “It has been an arduous and interesting experience. Having been diagnosed with multiple myeloma (a form of blood cancer) in 2009, which requires me to be on a lifelong dose of medication, pre-empted the possibility for me to carry children myself. Fortunately, technology has progressed where there are choices and new possibilities for having children. My husband and I decided to pursue surrogacy. India was the obvious choice. We consulted a reputed fertility doctor, but a week before we could begin, India outlawed commercial surrogacy. We were crushed. While I understand the pressing need to regulate the industry and prevent exploitation of surrogate mothers, it was a case of literally throwing out the baby with the bath water. But, I was determined. My husband and I were advised we could continue the process in India and that there were ‘ways’. But we did not want to bring our children into the world under a cloud of uncertainty,” she said.’
Image @aligphoto
MUH @jomakeupartist
PR manager @bazinga_ent
When my #Aye and @preetasukhtankar come to visit all sorts of happy bedlam ensues. My niece Ayesha was my first focused exposure to kids. And now with #Sufi and #Soleil our tribe has grown. I hope we can regularly take photos like these to cherish as they all grow into the joy and mystery of life.
Image @aligphoto
Makeup @jomakeupartist
Unicorn headband courtesy @sandrabakker3
Soleil knows mama is in an exceptionally great mood today. My manuscript is safely in my editor’s hands @harpercollinsin and mama has earned a mental break (and maybe a trip to Bali)
Dreaming up the next book. ‘The Charm of Imperfect Parenting’ perhaps. I’ve thrown away all those parenting books that piled up bedside. All that matters is love and connection and besides, Sufi and Soleil teach me what they need everyday.
(And I’m rubbish at schedules so one less thing to feel bad about 😜)
(My little Durga sticking out her tongue in agreement)
Image @aligphoto
MUH @jomakeupartist
It is literally impossible to have a bad day with this face around. I mean, literally. #Soleil is my all weather ray of sunshine. Scroll through and you’ll know what I mean.
#babySoleil #cureall #futureisfemalebaby #Someonestopmefromeatingmychild
Our Soufflé is three months old. Born June 22nd, at 36 weeks they were tiny, like baby birds slipped out of the nest. Since then, Jason and I have entered a garden bursting with color and while the tending can feel a bit trying at time, it’s an incredible initiation: to receive grace and boundless love through these two perfect beings, Sufi and Soleil. Thanks for choosing us, little ones 🙏
#Sufi #Soleil #Souffle #girlsrock #twinmommylife #heartbursting image @aligphoto @dinophotography_georgia
It’s a revelation to see the man you love, through the lens of daddy. This is a strong partnership we are growing into. When we took Soufflé to the doctor recently, we each carried one of the girls in a carrier. It was very clear from the doctor’s comments that he was impressed by such a hands on ‘daddy’, complimenting Jason again and again, revealing that Asian bias that ‘parenting’ is all up to the mother and any extra efforts by the father are not to be expected, but rewarded generously. We talked about it afterwards, Jason and I. The truth is, I detest labels and I don’t appreciate others making assumptions about what my life must be like as a ‘mother. Jason is extremely busy- and so am I- so he doesn’t see the girls weekdays much, but tries to make up on the weekend. I’m writing a book, planning work trips, and juggling my professional and our personal lives. Parenting means we are in it together. We both juggle and struggle and thrive in our new family configuration together. We design our life as we see fit. There’s no fitting into traditional roles. My heart melts when I see my husband with his daughters, not because it’s great to see him involved, but because this is how it should be. Two individuals invested in bringing up two other individuals with love and care.
Image @aligphoto
Following with interest and empathy the dialogue that has been opened by actress #TanushreeDutta in India. It’s no secret that women are sized up and cut down in the Hindi film industry and while things are changing, we need more voices to come forward, in sane and clear sighted discussion 🙏
Now when I discuss with friends the #MeToo movement, the Kavanaugh case and closer to home, the voices raised when an actress accuses a reputed Hindi film actor of harassment, I look at my daughters, Sufi and Soleil, and think, how would I want them to be treated? What sort of principles do they need to abide by in the world as they grow? And will they inherit a world that abides by them?
#mySouffle #believeSurvivors #changetheculture #daughterlove #futureisfemalebabies #MeToo
It’s a revelation to see the man you love, through the lens of daddy. This is a strong partnership we are growing into. When we took Soufflé to the doctor recently, we each carried one of the girls in a carrier. It was very clear from the doctor’s comments that he was impressed by such a hands on ‘daddy’, complimenting Jason again and again, revealing that Asian bias that ‘parenting’ is all up to the mother and any extra efforts by the father are not to be expected, but rewarded generously. We talked about it afterwards, Jason and I. The truth is, I detest labels and I don’t appreciate others making assumptions about what my life must be like as a ‘mother. Jason is extremely busy, so he doesn’t see the girls weekdays much, but tries to make up on the weekend. I’m writing a book, planning work trips, and juggling my professional and our personal lives. Parenting means we are in it together. We both juggle and struggle and thrive in our new family configuration together. We design our life as we see fit. There’s no fitting into traditional roles. My heart melts when I see my husband with his daughters, not because it’s great to see him involved, but because this is how it should be. Two individuals invested in bringing up two other individuals with love and care.
Image @aligphoto
Yes that’s a real baby, and yes I know what I’m doing. At least that’s what I told myself for the first two months I spent ALONE with newborns in #Tbilisi (with my faithful nanny, Vina, of course but otherwise ALONE)
The untitled memoir is an unflinching and deeply moving account of Lisa’s nomadic existence: her entry into the Indian entertainment industry; her relationship with her Bengali father and Polish mother; movie sets and the Oscars; her battle with eating disorders; being diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma; her spiritual quest; and the heartaches and triumphs of her journey. It is also about Lisa’s search for love.
Lisa Ray: ‘I am both nervous and excited about the publication of my memoir by HarperCollins India. Writing my story has transported me through a myriad of experiences and worlds, and the emotions of a life lived close to the bone. I’ve been working on this a long time and, after the birth of my twins, it feels like my third baby. Thank you, HarperCollins India, Jayapriya Vasudevan and Jacaranda Agency, for standing by me and extending all your sensitivity and skills in bringing my manuscript to life. It’s hard to tell your own story authentically without unwavering support. I hope this will be the first of many more stories I have to share.’ Diya Kar, HarperCollins India said: ‘Lisa’s memoir is candid, brave, and inspiring. We are delighted that we will be publishing the story of her remarkable journey—from being ‘discovered’ at sixteen to being diagnosed with cancer at thirty-seven, this is a brutally honest account of one who’s lived life on her terms.’ About the author
Lisa Ray has had a long and serendipitous career in the entertainment arts spanning multiple countries and films including the Oscar-nominated Water, television (Top Chef Canada) and modelling. She starred in Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan’s ‘Afreen Afreen’ video. Her entrepreneurial activities include starting her own yoga studio and a line of ethical perfume. When diagnosed with a rare blood cancer in 2009, she chose to share her experiences in a blog called ‘The Yellow Diaries’ which led to her first book (her forthcoming memoir). She is a well-known advocate for cancer awareness through her writing and public talks. Lisa
#Sufi is #thuglife goals.
Because every family needs a bad ass mystic
#SufiRayDehni #futureisfemalebaby
It’s a revelation to see the man you love, through the lens of daddy. This is a strong partnership we are growing into. When we took Soufflé to the doctor recently, we each carried one of the girls in a carrier. It was very clear from the doctor’s comments that he was impressed by such a hands on ‘daddy’, complimenting Jason again and again, revealing that Asian bias that ‘parenting’ is all up to the mother and any extra efforts by the father are not to be expected, but rewarded generously. We talked about it afterwards, Jason and I. The truth is, I detest labels and I don’t appreciate others making assumptions about what my life must be like as a ‘mother. Jason is extremely busy- and so am I – so he doesn’t see the girls weekdays much, but tries to make up on the weekend. I’m writing a book, planning work trips, and juggling my professional and our personal lives. Parenting means we are in it together. We both juggle and struggle and thrive in our new family configuration together. We design our life as we see fit. There’s no fitting into traditional roles. My heart melts when I see my husband with his daughters, not because it’s great to see him involved, but because this is how it should be. Two individuals invested in bringing up two other individuals with love and care.
Image @aligphoto
I sometimes put a beret on my child when she sleeps hoping she will spontaneously break into french one day without any effort in my part 🤪
#SoleilRayDehni
In case you put 2 and 2 together and got 22, I feel a moral obligation to clarify that the reason I spent almost three months in #Tbilisi earlier this year was to practise pushing a stroller through cobblestone lanes surreptitiously (with or without a baby is your guess) and thus perfect my mothering skills before engaging with the world.
Oh yes, and my daughters were born in the country of #Georgia. There’s that. Tbilisi, Georgia
Thank you for all your congratulatory messages, we are all very touched. If you’d like to know more about my journey to motherhood through surrogacy, I’ve written a deeply personal piece for this month’s @bazaarindia. The truth is- I never wanted kids. I felt they would tie me down and I wanted to expand. I wanted to life an extraordinary life through personal freedom, and children didn’t fit into that vision. Well, you know what, we change. Our beliefs change. We have to shake ideas about ourselves out of our bones sometimes to live an authentic life. That’s what this piece is about- the journey into an uncritical self and part of that is motherhood. We all have every right to change our mind – about motherhood, our bodies and relationships.
Indulge me as I share a few excerpts here 🙏🏼 …….. ‘Sure there’s a divide- motherhood and non motherhood, which I’ve crossed. There is a new habit of the heart when I hear their dolphin sounds, or watch their faces as they startle themselves with epic burps and farts…… With my baby girls pressed close along the contours of my own body, there’s a growing edge of my life. I’m no longer ending at the limits of my skin. Where do I end and where do I begin? Oh and my babies names? Sufi and Soleil which in combination becomes Souffle. Served sweet or savory, it’s my favorite dish.’ @bazaarindia #Souffle #surrogacy #motherhood
It has taken a myriad of experiences to redefine wellness for myself. The most disruptive thing you can do in today’s world is to belong irretrievably, unconditionally to yourself. Not easy but owning all aspects of yourself- the shadow and the light- makes all the difference 🙏🏼
Excerpt from my piece in @elleindia
Image @farrokhchothia
MUH @meghnabutanihairandmakeup
Dress rehearsals for #DurgaPooja cause my #Soufflé are already into bling and fun fashion
Image @aligphoto
‘The most subversive thing you can do today is to reclaim your wellness, which by the way, doesn’t always translate into a relaxed, quiet version of yourself. Wellness is disruptive. I don’t think of myself as a semi-success on the health spectrum because I’m living with a disease, but a gundi of good health, a wild woman of wellness, the CEO of SLA (Save Lisa’s Ass).’
From my piece in this month’s @elleindia
Hearing echoes of my friend @tishanidoshi elegiac, powerful poetry everywhere ‘Girls are coming out of the woods/with panties tied around their lips/making such a noise, it’s impossible to hear/is the world speaking too? Is it really asking, what does it mean to give someone a proper resting?
Girls are coming out of the woods.
They’re coming. They’re coming.
#MeToo
Oh my, oh my, oh my.
I can not describe what grace it is to receive this jewel of a fable by my dearest friend @thepostcarder
It is shimmering and perfect. Thank you for the words and wit and for your wisdom. And for always helping me see 🙏
Thank you @penguinindia
#theRabbitandtheSquirrel
Goodbye world. After many months of wrestling with sentences it’s time to savour someone else’s words. I’m going in.
