Nine years and a few months ago, I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, an incurable blood cancer. I’m still here. I chose to share my diagnosis from the red carpet of the Toronto International Film Festival and I wrote about it in a blog titled, #TheYellowDiaries. But what hasn’t been extensively shared is I relapsed in 2012, around the time of my (first and only) marriage. And after drawing on both allopathic and complementary therapies, I was back in remission. .
Stay open and curious they say, suck the meaning from every experience. Then about four years ago, just before moving to Hong Kong and Mumbai, I found myself as patient number 12 in a second stage clinical trial for a revolutionary new way of approaching cancer treatment: immuno-oncology. Chemotherapy kills the bad cells, along with the good- it’s doesn’t discriminate. But immuno-oncology boosts the immune system in a way that it can target only those rogue cancer cells. .
Dr Armand Keating was conducting the trials for NK-92 @thepmcf and looking for patients who had relapsed just once. Yes! That’s me…and so I became part of a clinical trial that I believe has made all the difference. Life was unusually crazy as I would travel to Asia and then back to Toronto for one week of infusions and monitoring at Princess Margaret Hospital in Toronto. I’m unspeakably grateful to Dr Keating, his staff, Princess Margaret, serendipity and the goddess forces that have guided me, fearlessly, humour intact, into places that have awakened that cheeky survivor personality that lies within us all. .
I’m not special. We each of us has the potential to tap into something far greater than the individual…and also the wisdom to understand when its time to let go. The universe is for you, not against you. That’s what I have come to understand through cancer, in a line.
@thepmcf 🙏🏽 pictured: my portacath 🌹
Sufi and Soleil are literally the apples of my eye. 😍 And I want to make sure that I give them nothing but the best. ✨ For their skin care, my first choice was the all new Johnson’s. Their new range of products have changed inside out. With no parabens, no dyes and no sulphates, the products are really pure and gentle. 🎈
I was also really glad to know that these products pass the most stringent global regulatory standards. 👩🔬
I absolutely love their Baby lotion for my little ones. It’s so mild on their skin and keeps it really soft and smooth. 💕
I #CHOOSEgentle with the all new Johnson’s.
@johnsonsbabyindia
Shot by: @popitproductions
Sunday with #Soufflé 香港愉景灣 Visit Discovery Bay
Sufi is the picture of satisfaction. A good meal, a bold style statement and a fabulous read of Auntie @beneaththesheetz beautiful book #AlwaysAnjali | ‘Be proud of who you are, Anjali. To be different is to be marvellous.’
Thank you my dear friend for writing it.
Of father’s and daughters: an enduring love story.
Thanks for my Minnie Mice @dipikablacklist
This is my year of magical thinking. My babies are a passport up the bean stalk, down the rabbit hole, through the enchanted forest and deep into the center of love. I wrote a letter to my #Soufflé in the latest @hellomagindia and I thought I’d share a bit of it:
You both came into the world with your own strong personalities and spirits. Sufi: you are stronger and more determined at three months than your mama at 46, with oodles of charisma. Soleil: when you gaze at the world in wonder, you bring me into the same state. Because of you I am falling in love with the world all over again |
The world will try to tell you who you are – you must laugh when that happens. You belong to yourself. Pursuing your dreams and happiness is important but it’s also not everything. We are all interconnected in this planet. Serve others. Even small acts of kindness lead to an epidemic of compassion. Enjoy all the flickering moments and joy but know there is more. Have fun, sample everything- EVERYTHING- but know you exist on a scale larger than this fleeting life |
We live in order to strengthen the soul. You will go through difficult times. Don’t waste your suffering. Know fear and make friends with fear and move past it. You can only figure out who you are by going to the borders of yourself, by expanding from there, by failing, by falling, by rising |
Try to create a little beauty wherever you go. Stand up against injustice. Always speak out. Never, ever let anyone diminish your light. You are descended from fierce, independent minded women. I know you will remember them and do the right thing.
Images @aligphoto MUH @jomakeupartist @hellomagindia #LettertomyDaughters
The Monk Manifesto
by Christine Valters Paintner
1. I commit to finding moments each day for silence and solitude, to make space for another voice to be heard, and to resist a culture of noise and constant stimulation.
2. I commit to radical acts of hospitality by welcoming the stranger both without and within. I recognize that when I make space inside my heart for the unclaimed parts of myself, I cultivate compassion and the ability to accept those places in others.
3. I commit to cultivating community by finding kindred spirits along the path, soul friends with whom I can share my deepest longings, and mentors who can offer guidance and wisdom for the journey.
4. I commit to cultivating awareness of my kinship with creation and a healthy asceticism by discerning my use of energy and things, letting go of what does not help nature to flourish.
5. I commit to bringing myself fully present to the work I do, whether paid or unpaid, holding a heart of gratitude for the ability to express my gifts in the world in meaningful ways.
6. I commit to rhythms of rest and renewal through the regular practice of Sabbath and resist a culture of busyness that measures my worth by what I do.
7. I commit to a lifetime of ongoing conversion and transformation, recognizing that I am always on a journey with both gifts and limitations.
Our spiritual intelligence searches for wholeness, coherence and attunement to the universe – @lama_tsultrim_allione
#Goa #chasingthelight wearing @kharakapas dress picked up @theprojectcafegoa and @pausefashion.in distressed jacket Assagao, Goa, India
Repost from @miguel_jacob_ using @RepostRegramApp – Lisa Ray @lisaraniray for Project1127
I am so excited to finally share all of the final images from Project1127, a project with fashion designer Laura Siegel and other talented artists around the world. Since late 2014, we have been doing portrait sessions in various studios with people in the industry – celebrities, influencers and fashion insiders alike – who, by wearing white and one of the scarves, stand in solidarity with those affected by the Rana Plaza tragedy. In 2016, this project was featured on VOGUE.com
Designer Laura Siegel launched Project 1127 – a charity collection of limited-edition scarves – in memory of the 1,127 people killed when the Rana Plaza garment factory collapsed in Bangladesh in 2013. The designs, created in collaboration with local artisans in Kutch, are hand-woven in silk and cotton with pops of colour (rose pink, deep violet, aqua) courtesy of strips of recycled saris. Money raised from the scarves goes to the Sreepur Village Organisation, which currently supports 130 destitute mothers and 540 children in the area. Please check out the newly-launched website for more information: www.project1127.com
Photography: Miguel Jacob @miguel_jacob_
Artistic Direction: Laura Siegel @laura_siegel
Project Manager: Carmen Tsang @carmengtsang
Producer and Stylist: Sarah Jay @sarahjaystyle
Hair + Makeup: Michelle Rosen @michellerosen Studio: Judy Inc. @judyinc
#migueljacob #project1127 #profoto #profotoglobal #profoto_canada #migueljacob #lightshaping #ranaplaza #laurasiegel #sustainablefashion
Happy 5 months my hearts. May your lives be filled with wonder and more wonder…
I’ll be home soon, my doves.
#Souffle #Heartburst #gratitude #myThanksgiving
Thank you #Bhubaneshwar for a warm welcome for @Rado 2018 festive season launch at #KamalWatchCo in @esplanadeonemall
Styling @aasthasharma @wardrobist
Dress @labelmanikananda
MUH @zoya.makeupandhair Bhubaneswar, India
Thank you #Bhubaneshwar for a warm welcome for @Rado 2018 festive season launch at #KamalWatchCo in @esplanadeonemall
Styling @aasthasharma @wardrobist
Dress @labelmanikananda
MUH @zoya.makeupandhair Bhubaneswar, India
Thank you @divinechocolatefactory for the perfect backdrop to open our hearts and share and @ekaco for the elegant simplicity 🙏🏼
This visit with Santa my greatest of joys |
We talked about Christmas and all kinds of toys |
He knew I was coming and as you can see |
This photo brings greetings from Santa and me |
#70sXmas #didnotpullthebeard #didnotcry
A mother’s treasure are her children, so for my daughters I strive to choose the best of the best. Therefore, I #CHOOSEgentle with the all New Johnsons.🎈
I love how their products are tested on 5lac people globally and contain no parabens, sulphates and dyes.👩🔬
The fragrance, meets the highest IFRA standards and is so mild and calming.👶
I am so glad I chose the all new Johnsons for Sufi and Soleil! @johnsonsbabyindia 💫
Shot by: @popitproductions
Reminding me to keep the inner child alive and over flowing with wonder is Berlin based artist Allan Shaw @theolddrifter whose exhibition opened @theprojectcafegoa serendipitously while I was in #Assagao on a special assignment. Is there such a thing as serendipity- the fact of finding something valuable by chance- or do we sketch our thoughts in ways that bring us closer to kindred spirits that bring us closer to ourselves? Do take look at the marvellous work of @theolddrifter
This book represents connection, solace, divine play, sangha, the dharma and friendship, gifted by @mishtickle. I spontaneously reached out to @mishtickle for a private meditation session (which she does not normally do) When she arrived, I understood we were meant to meet. I always carry a quiet prayer for the next guide, teacher, Angel, who renews and replenishes me in the direction of my one true calling: spiritual growth. … Michelle and I have so much in common in our personal histories of investing in inner growth and self awareness, I’m still reeling from it- and at the same, sharing a private wink with the universe. … Truthfully, I have genuinely never cared for career, money, status, clothes, sensational gossip, and the cult of the mind, whose job it is to judge, manipulate, prevent surrender and deeper instincts to prevail. When you learn to abide by silence, the chattering mind becomes a mountain lake, reflective and calm. And accessing what is behind the mind, I believe, is the ultimate lived experience. … Occasionally it is painful yet necessary to prune intimates who have chosen a different path in life. That’s okay. But finding one who shares the same experience and understanding: priceless.
Deep bows for the book and the reminder @mishtickle 🙏🏼 Hong Kong International Airport 香港國際機場
Missing GOA.
Repost from @esalen using @RepostRegramApp – “The more powerful and original a mind, the more it will incline toward the religion of solitude.” – Aldous Huxley | 📷Kyle Evans @bigsurphoto
Today I recall writing my blog #TheYellowDiaries nine years ago and I’m astonished at my cheeky, subversive humour. But there’s personal truth and my life philosophy embedded in these words. I’ve been a student of Tibetan Buddhism and the dharma for many years – even before I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma at 37 in 2009. Sometimes I read my chronicles of that time to remind me: nothing is permanent, even our sorrows 🙏🏼 And sometimes the page can contain the poetry of our lives, sometimes it merely hints at it.
Rounding off our Ray-Dehni book club this week is something for mama. Exquisite prose and the journey of a sublimely emancipated girl whose ‘words will themselves become prayers’ |
Ufff. Thank you @sharanya_manivannan for this garland of a book and @harpercollinsin for my copy
It seems to me, all the books I longed for as a child are raining down into Souffle’s life. For this I’m so grateful (and a bit covetous)
Thank you @bhaktimathur98 for the gift of your #AmmaTakeMeto @penguinindia series. I’ve learned so much about these sacred sites, particularly after visiting the Golden Temple a few weeks back. I need to revisit All of them again. With Soufflé of course.
Repost from @lama_tsultrim_allione using @RepostRegramApp – “Most of us do not recognize the vastness of our consciousness, even though it is present right now, behind the thoughts you are having as you read these very words. This is because it is so obscured by the
drama created by the ego. The spiritual path gradually uncovers this space, giving us glimpses of it, but the experience is not stabilized until we fully wake up.” ~ Lama Tsultrim Allione, from her book Feeding Your Demons.
Truthfully I’m erratic and tempestuous by nature. Following a routine is a foreign concept. But my healing journey is rather sacred, and one of my primary callings, so I’ve dedicated myself to figuring a system that works for me. There’s an entire cotillion of health professionals, complementary therapists, healers, yoga teachers, aunties, friends and my lover who are on the board of my Health Company of which I’m CEO: SLA Incorp. aka Save Lisa’s Ass 😂 the posted chart is a neat summing up of the components of a holistic, healing journey
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I still joke, but leading a healthy, harmonious life takes time, dedication, practise and courage. When I was in the midst of green juicing I had to ignore all the teasing, for instance. I remember my sister-friend @shereenarazm on the set of #TopChefCanada and her iron clad support when I drank my veggie only juices in the green room (ironically) .
I still get teased at my early nights, the times I honor my inner calling to be alone rather than in company, the many lifestyle changes that make me a challenging friend.
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But I am fortunate. I recognise shafts of light lancing through darkness, feel the the indigo love of a vast sky, with blessings and good wishes pouring light over my up turned face, like lamp posts under a starless night.
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Follow your truth, my friends. You will always be supported.
#Healinginyourhands
