[Birdcage]
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I’m back~! Sorta~ hopefully~ loll
I kinda put stuff up on my patreon now :3~ link in my profile πππ
mostly just sketches and wip tho, just one tier, $1 xD~ I decided to set it up when my medications jumped to $400/month o( βα΄β )o;;;;
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Sorry I’ve been away for so long without any update..I’ve kinda got some anxiety about not being able to draw as much as before and it was easier to just not thinking about the social media aspect of it all.
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A lil update on my health:
Got discharged from the hospital last week and tried to finish this asap. Went in for abdominal pain but my heart was beating so fast in intervals they kept me in the cardiac ICU for close watch cause apparently it was really dangerous for a bit xD;;
They also found a lump mass in my body and they’re not sure if it’s cancer or not. The pathologist team at the hospital can’t agree on whether it’s sarcoma cancer or a benign tumour I guess? So, that’s been fun lol. It’s weird how my body is like, really trying to kill itself ππ BC Cancer was supposed to contact me last week but they’re not very fast at contacting people I guess? XD
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Fingers crossed its not cancer cause my heart is still a mess and I’ve no idea how chemotherapy would mesh with my heart medications. I take soooo much heart meds now sometimes I worry for my liver and kidney lol, I hope they can take the meds xD~
I wish I had better news tho lol. I’m kinda still in medical limbo….it’s like I’ve stopped in time to work on surviving and watching everything passing me by…kinda depressing sometimes haha…sorry uwu. But still alive tho. That’s a plus. Lmao.
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TL;DR: my health is kinda getting worse but I’m still alive tho yaaay
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Thanks to those of you who are still sticking around xDππ
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#illustration #surreal #pencil #drawing #instaartist
Flower Tea hat πΊπ«
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It’s ma birthdayyyyy π~
The only time I feel shameless enough to kinda promote my kofi page a little bit @-@~
if you enjoy my content, please consider buying me a kofi? Which I will then just buy tea with. But also coffee. I drink both π. link in my profile. Thank you guys so much for even just sticking around π
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sorry I haven’t been posting as frequently as I even want to >_<~ I'm def gonna try to draw more and hope I can ignore my back pain into oblivion π~
In the mean time, I do post more random scraps of doodles or processes on Twitter. I don't know why but I feel like I can just chuck random stuff on Twitter; maybe it's cause the interface isn't the best for art posting anyways lmao~
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My next heart CT is in a week and half, and I'm already nervous af. Trying not to think about what will happen if the drugs I'm trying doesn't work π΅~ gotta be positive and just ignore these thoughts hahaha~
Ps, forgot to add that that the tattoo was inspired by @zihwa_tattooer . I wish I could get one from her haha..unfortunately blood thinners, low immunity and tattoos don't mix xD;;
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#illustration #witch #stars #tea #coffee
Empty βοΈ
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So I took a break from social media for about a month. This really just was a doodle for myself and I wasn’t even going to post it, but you know how sometimes messy doodles just kinda solidify… Well, anyways, stress got the better of me and I pretty much had to shut down and do something else for a bit. And by something else I mean nothing of significance at all lol.
I wish things had gotten better, but it hasn’t…my mom’s white blood cell count actually LOWERED, and she still insists on working -__-;;. My granddad’s tumour has…migrated… I’ll need to go back to China soon to see him. My mom’s preparing me for the worst and it’s kinda all just happening at once? The doctors here are thinking of sending me to the Mayo clinic in the US because my heart disease is so unusual, and the scar is STILL growing according to the CT reports…And US medical fees are so much I dunno if I’d wanna go or just die and save some money for my aging parents ππ
Anyways, I’m not sure how “back” I am, but I’m trying to get back to art and maybe draw my stress out haha…but tbh it felt better gaming and not thinking about anything. Haha, sorry, I feel like every time I post online it’s always so negative. I wish I was more positive these days~ Well, I’m more positive when I’m gaming and cooking? Lmaooo~~ I’m gonna go water my plants.
Thanks for dropping by and sticking w me π π
April shower bring May flowers πΈβοΈπΈ
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Tried a more, softer, pastel-y look. Let me know how you guys like it (=Β΄βο½)δΊΊ(Β΄βο½=)
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it’s been a while, sorry @-@~ I spent quite a bit of time working on the book cover I did for @connieglynn, and because I’m still not doing the best health-wise, it took much longer than I expected π ~
The more recent good news is that at least the scar tissue in my heart has stopped growing since I started trying this new medication I’m lab ratting for ππ! Though it’s still blocking a lot of my heart arteries haha, so moving fast is still quite difficult.
There’s new meds my doctors want me to try, but they’re crazy expensive, like $300 a month expensive @-@;;, on top of the meds I already need….So I kinda finally started a patreon. I’m not officially announcing it yet, I’m still on this bucket-list Japan trip; I do have some wips up for this though π~ nothing formal or extravagant, just gonna be a pay what ya want wip blog-y type of patreon (βΒ°uΒ°β)β γ
Thanks for dropping by π
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#illustration #pencil #umbrella #flowers
Star Scattering βοΈβ¨
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Happy Holidays! I wasn’t going to post this during the holidays cause I felt like no one would be online? But if I don’t post it I’ll keep “fixing” it and I can’t stare at this any more π.
I don’t really celebrate anything tbh, despite the smol tree we got at home haha. What do people actually do on Christmas Day other than opening presents? Or do you guys celebrate at all?
We only got those present-like chocolates under the tree so we’re trying not to eat them all at once in one day ππ
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The new meds I’m taking is making me so sleepy tho, I’ve been sleeping 9-10 hours a day and still tired…but ahh won’t talk about my heart condition today lol, hope you guys have a nice relaxing holiday π
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#art #stars #moon #illustration #star
Star Scattering βοΈβ¨
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Happy Holidays! I wasn’t going to post this during the holidays cause I felt like no one would be online? But if I don’t post it I’ll keep “fixing” it and I can’t stare at this any more π.
I don’t really celebrate anything tbh, despite the smol tree we got at home haha. What do people actually do on Christmas Day other than opening presents? Or do you guys celebrate at all?
We only got those present-like chocolates under the tree so we’re trying not to eat them all at once in one day ππ
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The new meds I’m taking is making me so sleepy tho, I’ve been sleeping 9-10 hours a day and still tired…but ahh won’t talk about my heart condition today lol, hope you guys have a nice relaxing holiday π
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#art #stars #moon #illustration #star
art blocked
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get it? ππ
hey guys, it’s been a while~! haha sorry… I’ve been a little…blocked up? lmao. I’m actually really nervous posting this cause it’s been so long hahaha.
it’s kind of a combination of just my body being so tired all the time and me just not really wanting to draw or think about anything much.
I kinda got a little sick when I visited China last month, and I guess it really kinda broke my body a little bit lmao. I hope I don’t have to go back any time soon, but my grandfather has advanced lung cancer right now…I guess we’ll see. I really hope he can still be here the next time I’m ready to travel again.
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A little update on my heart disease though, the doctors still don’t really know what’s going on. The scar tissue in my heart has grown and so my heart function has gone down again lol. It kinda feels like pre-surgery when I walk uphill tbh. I get this major chest pain when I walked two flights of stairs the other day. (the doctor almost wanted to hospitalize me lmao….thankfully I don’t have to go back and live in the hospital..for now…T_T;;..i hate the hospital so much lmao)…actually I’m getting a little chest discomfort rn cause I always get nervous posting my art πππ
On the other hand though, I was finally prescribed a medication that they want me to try. No one knows if it’ll work, since my condition is so rare the pathologists can’t find anything at all in north america’s database, but it’s better than nothing hahaha. I guess at this point I’m not…the most optimistic person? but I’m also….really tired….
But at least I’m alive right? Even if I feel super useless for not drawing as much or working…sorry, that’s just personal stuff. I always wanna complain in these but then I immediately feel super bad for complaining lmaoo. Thanks for sticking with me guys xD. I know I’m probably losing a lot of followers and stuff now, totally understandable, I’m not the perkiest person right now and I’m not pumping out artwork like I used to xD~ Well, thank you guys for hanging around and actually reading through this lmaoo~ <3
#art #illustration #surrealism
ηΊ’θΆβοΈ
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Coffee or tea? I prefer both myself actually haha~ I need both….βͺ(Β΄Ξ΅ο½ )
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Thank you guys so much for all your kind words last post~! My granddad’s been discharged from the hospital a few days ago and I’m so relieved. He had a fever and we were so worried it might become something worse because of his lung tumour and that I might not be able to make it back in time to see him. Buut he’s out so that’s one less thing I’m stressed about haha βͺ( Β΄β½ο½)~
Thank you guys againnnn for all the support, love you guysssss ππ
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#art #illustration #tea #instaart
β¨β¨Ballerinaβ¨β¨
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Tried to actually do actual constellations, can you guys recognize any? ππ
Haha sorry for the hiatus again @-@;; with back pain and headaches it’s kinda hard to get back into everything >.<;;. I also tried to film this with a camera I got a while back for my Japan trip that I never got to go to cause I got hospitalized loll. Setting up took quite some time @-@;;
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Anyways, I'm going to Shanghai for a bit next week to visit my granddad, so I may not be able to draw or post much...I'll only be sketching cause I won't be taking my paint or laptop with me. It's too much work π¬. Should I post sketches here? Yeah or nah? I used to post them but I kinda feel like they're too scrappy to show these days haha~~
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#inktober #art #painting
“Daydreaming β¨π”
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Thank you guys for 2 Mil followers omfg π±π±π±
I’d love to be verified by @instagram by now tho πππ pleaseeee~~
Also, thank you guys who came to my stream to watch this get slowly painted hahaha~ I spent so long on this ahhh I hope you guys like it ππ
Gotta go to rehab soon so that’s funnnnnnnnn haaaahaha….
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#illustration #mermaid #surreal #fish #art
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Rough sketch w colour testin before moving onto watercolor version.
_(:_γβ )_
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I’m posting more wip on Twitter so follow me there? π
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Just saw the pre heart transplant clinic nurses actually haha, I’m actually resting in the hospital lobby rn (Β΄ο½₯_ο½₯`)….the stress woke me up way before normal and I forgot to take my heart slowing meds before I left, so now I can’t walk too fast or my body hurts. Oops.
I’m seeing the pre transplant clinic Doctor tmr, and I guess that’ll be fun? Lol. Hope I’ll remember my meds at least tmr.
This doesn’t mean I’ll for sure have a heart transplant tho. In fact, I really, really, really hope I don’t. Cause, well, there’s the possibly dying thing (fun fact, 60% of ppl survive 10 years…lol) but also food restrictions like no raw food like sashimi or medium rare steaks; I heard even some raw veggies I need to be careful of too, I guess like the e coli outbreak on lettuce a while ago would probably be pretty bad for transplant patients…so, uh, fingers crossed there’ll be some meds that can help me D;;. But the doctors just want me to be prepared for that possibility. She basically said that they can’t keep cutting me open to remove the scar tissue building up lol. I guess medical risks rises every time I have heart surgery xD;;
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Tbh I thought I would try to draw more, but I ended up having back pain every other day and it’s just…not great. But hey, at least I might be able to post something here once a month? Lmaoo~ I don’t really want to dump my sketches here haha…(ｑ-_-ｑ)
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#art #illustration #mermaid #roses #flowers
πΏπ π
The sunny weather outside doesn’t match my mood…hahaha…
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Just some rambling as usual, feel free to ignore me hahaha.
sorry I haven’t really been posting much…
I’ve been a little stressed. No surprises there haha. The doctors don’t know what to do with me or my heart disease, I’m not getting call backs even after doing tests, but most of all as time goes on I feel more and more useless and like…a waste of space…? It’s just this feeling of guilt, inadequacy of not being able to do anything to help anyone or even earn a decent living, instead living off my parents because I’m too sick and stressed and busy with rehab stuff to work right now. It doesn’t help that my mom’s injured her arm and was diagnosed with low white blood cell (low immune system) a few weeks ago…we’re like two sick ppl taking care of each other lmao “orz
so yah I’ve been avoiding social media a bit…I drew this one thing that started off nice and sunny and as my mood worsened it turned sad π. I was randomly bursting into tears and shit, and that’s not fun lol…
I’m so tired. Thanks for all your support and kind words though….but I’m so tired…of just, like, everything hahaha…
Sorry, rambled again lmaooo you guys must be super tired of reading these depressing-ish shit lmaooo sry, I don’t mean to do it but there aren’t a lot of ppl I can talk to about this stuff, especially not my family cause it stresses them out lolll~ though if this stressed you out I’m sorrryyyy haha @-@;;; umm thanks for making it this far lol this is a true ramble. Here’s a cookie. Wait, it’s summer, so here’s some ice cream π¦π
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#illustration #goldfish #summer #mood #procreate
ΰ²₯_ΰ²₯
There’s only one reason I’m doing this and it’s cause I can include the best one, on the right bottom π #eyememe #bandwagon
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Sry, gonna ramble about my medical condition rn, feel free to just ignore.
Got some not great news at the hospital yesterday though nothing is for sure yet, but they found new abnormal growth in my heart again from the CT scan I had taken on Tue. This is the same growth that made me have pretty much allll my surgeries hahahaahahjaahahaha….I’m beyond stressed right now. Like. Beyond. *internal screaming*
Flower dropsπ§πΈ
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This was an gouache watercolour experiment on hot-press watercolour paper, since I’ve never used hot-press before, and it really kinda morphed from just an eye into a full face sorta lmao
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I filmed the process for this painting, though editing takes such a long time I’m not sure if I’m up to it, since my back pain is pretty bad.
Also, I found out the reason for my back pain is cause of my heart surgeries hahaha. Apparently during open heart surgery, they kinda bend the ribs open and since the rib goes around to the back and the spine, it can fuck up the back. Sometimes ribs can even be broken so the surgeon can get to the heart better…so yeah, massages doesn’t really help me anymore either so that’s fun lol.
I kinda want to try topical cannabis oil haha. I’ll ask the next time I see my cardiologist. I already got the ok from the pre-transplant clinic cardiologist, but it’s always good to make sure :p
Thanks for sticking around guys :3
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#painting #illustration #flowers #tears #watercolor
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The cover I painted for @noodlerella’s next book, Princess in Practice~!
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It’s finally been revealed officially, so I can post this now~! Yay!
I was still recovering from surgery when I did this so I’m really thankful the editor gave me a looot more time since the hospitalization and surgery was so unexpected xD;. Also cause I really wanted to work on itπ~ I hope you guys like it~!
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#art #illustration #watercolor #silhouette #painting
“Stardust Ballerina”
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A little #fbf #throwback
I kinda miss using my gold ink~~
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#illustration #ballet #watercolor
How To (mess up then fix) Draw Lips. π~
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Glossy or matte lips? I dunno why but I’ve always really loved glossy lips βͺ(Β΄Ξ΅ο½ )
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Editing this smallll part took kinda long too loll. I’m gonna edit the while video later, just dunno when yet cause I’m working on the 3rd cover for..well, you guys will see eventually haha. I’m just very slow at working on anything these days cause back pain xD
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Before I woke up I dreamed that my chest scar was all reduced to the point where it was hardly visible looool. I was so disappointed when I woke up πππ. The disappointment was so palpable I had to share lmaooo ~ oh well haha π
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Ps, thank you guys for all the birthday wishes and coffee πππ~
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#illustration #painting #lips #howto
My fav 4 of this year β¨ which one’s your fav?
Things I accomplished this year: didn’t die during heart surgery.
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That’s about it? Lololol I mean that’s pretty good I guessss if the worst thing is to just die. Lmao.
Tbh tho I was gonna do a fav 9 this year (I’m not too into the #bestnine stuff after years of that haha), but then I realized….I had pretty much just enough for 9 squares…I drew so little this year…honestly that made me so depressed ππ
This year made me so pessimistic and even nihilist lmaoo. I can’t even really “look forward” to next year cause I’m too scared to hope for the best lol. I feel it’s better to just prepare for the worst ππ. But I’m not ready lmfao 2019 don’t kill me okay??!πππ
happy New Years guys πππππ
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#art #illustration #2018
My fav 4 of this year β¨ which one’s your fav?
Things I accomplished this year: didn’t die during heart surgery.
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That’s about it? Lololol I mean that’s pretty good I guessss if the worst thing is to just die. Lmao.
Tbh tho I was gonna do a fav 9 this year (I’m not too into the #bestnine stuff after years of that haha), but then I realized….I had pretty much just enough for 9 squares…I drew so little this year…honestly that made me so depressed ππ
This year made me so pessimistic and even nihilist lmaoo. I can’t even really “look forward” to next year cause I’m too scared to hope for the best lol. I feel it’s better to just prepare for the worst ππ. But I’m not ready lmfao 2019 don’t kill me okay??!πππ
happy New Years guys πππππ
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#art #illustration #2018
My fav 4 of this year β¨ which one’s your fav?
Things I accomplished this year: didn’t die during heart surgery.
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That’s about it? Lololol I mean that’s pretty good I guessss if the worst thing is to just die. Lmao.
Tbh tho I was gonna do a fav 9 this year (I’m not too into the #bestnine stuff after years of that haha), but then I realized….I had pretty much just enough for 9 squares…I drew so little this year…honestly that made me so depressed ππ
This year made me so pessimistic and even nihilist lmaoo. I can’t even really “look forward” to next year cause I’m too scared to hope for the best lol. I feel it’s better to just prepare for the worst ππ. But I’m not ready lmfao 2019 don’t kill me okay??!πππ
happy New Years guys πππππ
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#art #illustration #2018
My fav 4 of this year β¨ which one’s your fav?
Things I accomplished this year: didn’t die during heart surgery.
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That’s about it? Lololol I mean that’s pretty good I guessss if the worst thing is to just die. Lmao.
Tbh tho I was gonna do a fav 9 this year (I’m not too into the #bestnine stuff after years of that haha), but then I realized….I had pretty much just enough for 9 squares…I drew so little this year…honestly that made me so depressed ππ
This year made me so pessimistic and even nihilist lmaoo. I can’t even really “look forward” to next year cause I’m too scared to hope for the best lol. I feel it’s better to just prepare for the worst ππ. But I’m not ready lmfao 2019 don’t kill me okay??!πππ
happy New Years guys πππππ
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#art #illustration #2018
My fav 4 of this year β¨ which one’s your fav?
Things I accomplished this year: didn’t die during heart surgery.
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That’s about it? Lololol I mean that’s pretty good I guessss if the worst thing is to just die. Lmao.
Tbh tho I was gonna do a fav 9 this year (I’m not too into the #bestnine stuff after years of that haha), but then I realized….I had pretty much just enough for 9 squares…I drew so little this year…honestly that made me so depressed ππ
This year made me so pessimistic and even nihilist lmaoo. I can’t even really “look forward” to next year cause I’m too scared to hope for the best lol. I feel it’s better to just prepare for the worst ππ. But I’m not ready lmfao 2019 don’t kill me okay??!πππ
happy New Years guys πππππ
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#art #illustration #2018
WIP
wanted to finish this way sooner but my back is just not having it. I guess my back muscles might have been atrophied further when I got sick for a while haha. So here’s a work in progress :)~
I’m redoing an old drawing I did a while ago which I kinda liked the concept of but, the anatomy was kinda wonky and also the drawing was the size of a credit card loll.
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Also did y’all know there’s actually pre-transplant clinics to prep patients for organ transplants? I didn’t even know…until this tues lol….
don’t worry, there’s no solid plans as of now, but my doctor wants me to be mentally prepared and wants to start the paperwork…yeah I dunno. In case the medication I’m trying doesn’t work…
Nvm. I don’t really wanna talk about it rn, sry loll. I guess I’m rambling again haha. I’m super tired, as per usual loll~ thanks for sticking around :33
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#illustration #art #pencil #stars
πβ₯οΈQueen of Hearts β₯οΈπ
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Thanks for coming to the stream for this guys~~ I pretty much did almost all the colours on stream, I think? Now I just need a good webcam so I can stream the pencilling part too, one day…
I dunno why I keep posting on days I gotta go to rehab lol…I’m so tired argh. Saaaave meeeee I don’t wanna goooooo πππ….also to the doctor’s appointment afterwards….u_u;;
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#art #illustration #aliceinwonderland #queen #skull
![Qing Han Instagram - [Birdcage] β’ β’ I'm back~! Sorta~ hopefully~ loll I kinda put stuff up on my patreon now :3~ link in my profile πππ mostly just sketches and wip tho, just one tier, $1 xD~ I decided to set it up when my medications jumped to $400/month o( βα΄β )o;;;; β’ Sorry I've been away for so long without any update..I've kinda got some anxiety about not being able to draw as much as before and it was easier to just not thinking about the social media aspect of it all. ------------ A lil update on my health: Got discharged from the hospital last week and tried to finish this asap. Went in for abdominal pain but my heart was beating so fast in intervals they kept me in the cardiac ICU for close watch cause apparently it was really dangerous for a bit xD;; They also found a lump mass in my body and they're not sure if it's cancer or not. The pathologist team at the hospital can't agree on whether it's sarcoma cancer or a benign tumour I guess? So, that's been fun lol. It's weird how my body is like, really trying to kill itself ππ BC Cancer was supposed to contact me last week but they're not very fast at contacting people I guess? XD -- Fingers crossed its not cancer cause my heart is still a mess and I've no idea how chemotherapy would mesh with my heart medications. I take soooo much heart meds now sometimes I worry for my liver and kidney lol, I hope they can take the meds xD~ I wish I had better news tho lol. I'm kinda still in medical limbo....it's like I've stopped in time to work on surviving and watching everything passing me by...kinda depressing sometimes haha...sorry uwu. But still alive tho. That's a plus. Lmao. ---------- TL;DR: my health is kinda getting worse but I'm still alive tho yaaay β’ Thanks to those of you who are still sticking around xDππ β’ β’ β’ β’ β’ #illustration #surreal #pencil #drawing #instaartist](https://www.gethucinema.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/QingHan9-xPNNfj8411-150x150.jpg)
