Sasha Sagan

Sasha Sagan Instagram – At my first job out of college I had a friend who left the office early every Wednesday to attend what I’ll call a “self-help group”. Thinking I was funny, I would say, “ok have fun at your cult meeting!” One day I saw the look on his face and realized how extremely rude I was being. I apologized and agreed to attend an introductory meeting to make amends, and I guess, to prove my open-mindedness. In the meeting for new potential members we had to go around and say why we were there. I only said a colleague had invited me. A brash, kind of obnoxious older man next to me was more honest. “I’m here because I’m trying to sleep with a gal I know who comes here.” Soon the person leading the conversation was asking more personal questions. “What’s the problem in your life you are battling? What do you need to change to move forward?” When it was my turn I was suddenly overcome with emotion. I couldn’t believe I was crying in this weird meeting surrounded by strangers. “My father died when I was young and I don’t know how I’ll ever get over it.” Before the leader of the meeting could finish saying that was just the kind of the thing they could help with, the older man interjected, “Just get married and have kids of your own and you’ll be fine”. I was like 23, definitely not ready for that. His advice felt aggressive and inappropriate. I never went back but I remembered that day. For many years Father’s Day was the worst day of the year for me, full of constant reminders of what I didn’t have anymore. Then 3 years ago my husband and I had our beautiful little girl and something did indeed shift. Suddenly the idea of fatherhood was about my husband’s kind, silly, thoughtful, tender relationship with her. Celebrating that gives me so much joy. I still miss my dad. I still wish he was here. But now I feel a new appreciation for the love and attention he gave me, and a sense of profound gratitude for all the great dads past, present and future. And today, overall, I feel very lucky. And astonished that unpleasant stranger was sort of right. If you’re reading this and you’ve lost your dad or your relationship is hard, please know I’m thinking of you ♥️ #fathersday | Posted on 21/Jun/2020 21:22:30