I made the deadline for my next book, TRUMPTY DUMPTY WANTED A CROWN (pre-order link in bio)! Here’s the last illustration I made for it—a self-portrait. How’s the likeness?
Remembering 2016 Election Night
Did you SEE @perrymasonhbo ep 2 last night? So good. Here’s a pic we took that day of our incredible cast (and Jefferson Mays & Chris Chalk weren’t even there).
Hey, friends. If you haven’t heard already, on September 29, @ChroniclePrism will publish my next book, TRUMPTY DUMPTY WANTED A CROWN. More satirical verses in the Age of Trump. This one comes close on the heels of DUMPTY, out last fall and a New York Times bestseller. Just to tease you, I’ll be posting occasional sneak previews of a few couplets, stanzas, and illustrations (yes, I do those too) between now and the publication date. My goal, just like the last time, is to make you laugh, make you mad, make you remember, and maybe even make you vote. For today, here’s a sample of the title poem: “Trumpty Dumpty wanted a crown To make certain he never would have to step down. He wanted a robe made of ermine and velvet. The Constitution? He wanted to shelve it.”
So long, Perry, it’s been grand. #perrymasonhbo
Pictured is Dumpty as Herodotus, re-writer of his own history, from the poem “Fakes News” in TRUMPTY DUMPTY WANTED A CROWN. Here are the three opening stanzas: “People say that heretofore I kept black tenants from my door Using legal trickery, But fake news doesn’t bother me. “They say that falsifying facts is How I skirted all my taxes. People call it larceny, But fake news doesn’t bother me. “Constantly I’m found at fault, Charged with sexual assault Harassment and adultery, But fake news doesn’t bother me.” Pre-order link in bio!
Turns out apple pie takes no time at all #lithgowbakes
@perrymasonhbo is the subject tonight on @jimmyfallon
It’s Robin Lithgow’s birthday, best big sister ever ❤️
Orange is the New Trump! #trumptydumpty
Early Promise
As promised, another short take from TRUMPTY DUMPTY WANTED A CROWN. The book will include 32 poems, some long some short, with my own illustrations. One section is called “Scoundrels and Heroes: Limericks from the Seat of Government.” It’s a set of over twenty smartass limericks, and I figured they’d make a nice episodic series to get you interested. Here I am, reading the first two, recorded from home in the Age of Sheltering in Place, with more to come over the following weeks: “Here follow some twenty-odd verses On our national blessings and curses, Each villain or hero A Lincoln or Nero, Reflecting our gains and reverses. 1 “At times, Dumpty’s tortured with pain From a history of too much Rogaine. A tormenting prickle Attacks his tes-tickle When he glimpses the good ship McCain.”
Expertise in the White House? God Forbid! #oustingFauci
As promised, I’m back with another snippet from “Scoundrels and Heroes,” a series of limericks from TRUMPTY DUMPTY WANTED A CROWN. The text! (in case you want to read along): “The files of McGahn and John Bolton Hide corruption both crooked and joltin’. But they never will tell Lest their memoirs don’t sell, An embargo bizarre and revoltin’.”
Here we are again! This is limerick number 3 from the “Scoundrels and Heroes” series in TRUMPTY DUMPTY WANTED A CROWN: “With the recent Rush Limbaugh disgrace, Uncle Sam got a pie in the face. POTUS opted to peddle A crass Freedom Medal To con his conservative base.”
Goya’s New Salesforce #GetTheHatch
Have a look at another illustration from my new book, TRUMPTY DUMPTY WANTED A CROWN (those bubbles are microbes). The coronavirus hit halfway through the writing process, so a lot of the poems tell the farcical and horrific story of the current administration’s botched handling of our current pandemic. Here are the last lines of a poem called “A Requiem Scored for Kazoo,” to give you a quick taste. It’s “a hair-raising saga… ….Of ignorance, lies, and privation, A tale of confusion, contagion, and dread, An oblivious leader in over his head, And hope for more care and compassion ahead In a healthier, happier nation.”
Roger and Out
My illustration for “The Tortoise and the Hare,” a tale in verse from TRUMPTY DUMPTY WANTED A CROWN. McConnell’s the tortoise, Obama’s the hare, and Dumpty? He’s the razorback hog. Here’s a taste: “The Tortoise (named Mitch) was renowned for his guile, The Senate majority’s leading reptile, While the Hare was the POTUS, a flashy young mammal Whose smile was a sunbeam of gleaming enamel. “The quick-witted Hare (whose name was Barack) Floated programs the Tortoise endeavored to block. As fast as the Hare could devise and propose them, The crusty old Tortoise would try to bulldoze them.”
Welcome back! Here’s another limerick from the “Scoundrels and Heroes” series in TRUMPTY DUMPTY WANTED A CROWN. This one’s about Rudy and his scoundrel pals in Ukraine. “In a system that’s hopelessly broken The truth is infrequently spoken, Suiting Rudy just fine Since he’s glad to align With Lutsenko and Firtash and Shokin.”
How the Grim Reaper celebrates the 4th #millertime
“Everyone is guilty of something”: @PerryMasonHBO premieres June 21st at 9pm on @HBO. It’s so damn good.
We’re overdue for another limerick. This is number 5 from the “Scoundrels and Heroes” series in TRUMPTY DUMPTY WANTED A CROWN. A couple more scoundrels (we’ll get to the heroes shortly). Remember these two? “Lev Parnas and pal Igor Fruman Were a duo whose business was boomin’. As a fixer, each guy Was the best you could buy Which couldn’t be said of their groomin’.”
A call for help on behalf of Broadway Cares-Equity Fights AIDS: NY’s theater community is in dire straits, not just from closed shows but from the pandemic itself. Every donation to the COVID-19 Emergency Assistance Fund of @bcefa will be doubled up to $1 mil through the generosity of Broadway producers. Thanks for helping my beloved friends and colleagues.
