Lena Dunham Instagram – My beloved friend @miss_ashcon took this photo of me on set-we were between setups and she said “find your light” and something about the speed of it and trusting her so deeply allowed me to look at her- like really, really look at her. When I saw the developed photo, I couldn’t help but notice my eyes (duh, I’m wearing a mask so they’re the only thing on my face). To me, it feels like they were aching to express something- about the moment we’re in, about connection or lack there of, about how I hope to be seen and to see someone. I tried to write down what I thought I might be feeling and this came out… So next, in this installment of using IG as a journal: Some people really think they’re unique. Others spend their whole lives trying not to be. I’ve found that I’m attracted to the people who live on the margins of those two distinctions. Maybe our eccentricity is in the different ways we handle the inevitable, the bullshit that crashes on our doorstep unbidden. When I meet a person who shows up for me in my totally unique way, who might be what we’d call a life partner, I hope I can look them in the eyes (just like I can look into sweet @missashcon’s camera) and say: I am here. No questions. No hesitations. I am just here. With you. Accepting you. I will love you through magical journeys through the forest on the Sunday after Thanksgiving, looking around at the trees and wondering how we never noticed them before, and terrible mistakes you think you cannot confess. You are allowed to hurt me by accident, to succumb to stupidity and horniness and to be battered by the world just so long as you allow me the same. I myself am so imperfect. I will sleep too late. I will get distracted by my art and the internet and old pain. I will fight you on questions I don’t actually know the right answer to and I will never, ever come to brunch. But I will be there. I won’t go. I am unshakeable, unless you want to shake me. And that’s what the ones who left me- friends and lovers alike- did not know. They didn’t see my tenacity, because it’s a small thing flaming in my chest that rises and yells once a day, usually at about four am. But that’s enough to make shit happen.