Narelle Kheng Instagram – This year on @joakimgomez birthday we did a book swap and he sent me this book called “facing codependence” that honestly was one of those books that was exactly what I needed. Essentially Pia, the author, talks about codependence as a result of not learning/taught how to set and respect boundaries. I wanna share with you guys a snippet that while seems very straightforward gave me a great basis on understanding boundaries (swipe!). She splits it into internal and external boundaries. Internal boundaries being emotional – external, physical. She describes her internal boundary like a bullet-proof vest with doors that only open inward, where she has control over what she allows in; while her external boundary is like a bell jar that protects her, and she can decide how far the jar extends. These boundaries are put in place for us to respect not only our needs, but the needs of others, as she proposes that if we don’t understand our own boundaries, we’re more likely to cross into other people’s boundaries too, and it’s this invasion of boundaries that often cause turmoil to those on either side. This process of setting and respecting boundaries is something I’ve been focusing on a lot more lately. I really appreciated this visual of the bell jar and vest because it reminds me that I have full control of my own life, and as do others. It reminds me to exercise empathy in treating both myself and the people around me. To learn how to coexist while moving through different journeys in life. More often than not, we’re going to be stepping on each other’s toes. Especially online where anonymity and lack of physical interaction can be a shield that allows for harsher interaction and blurs lines between joking and bullying, and I’m thankful that we have differences because it means everyone is unique. But in the process, I think we can all learn how to be nicer, how to be more respectful. It’s a weird feeling to communicate with people digitally, where often nuances of tone, intentions are lost. All in all, and especially as we learn to traverse the digital world – thank you for being so nice! In all the moments you’ve practiced humility, empathy, generosity.