I have had a ton of men like @venky_golakoti asking if I did not give any dowry to Rahul Ravindran, my husband.
It looks like it is beyond these people’s imagination that normal, well adjusted, SECURE people don’t take dowry. Neither do they behave like entitled pricks expecting the girl’s family to give ridiculous gifts like ‘aadapaduchu katnam’ for non existent sisters in law, or expect the girls’ family to spend it all on the wedding.
For the last time – we both spent on our own wedding with our own income. And split the costs. That’s what adults do all over the world except in mana maha samajam.
If you are an adult and are earning – spend your own money for your wedding.
Your parents deserve to have their own savings for themselves.
How it should be done.
Ilaa mana desham lo enno biddalu unnaru. Ituvanti DMs eppudu vastuntaayi. Eppatininchi womens rights gurinchi nen maataddam modalu pettaeno – appatninchi mana telugu samajam ninchi ilaanti ‘namoonas’ ekkuva. Roju oka 4-5 DM tagulutaayi. Naake ilaa ante, actresses ki elaa untundho meeru imagine chesko vaccunu. Point is – ilaanti messages meeku ganaka vaste – dont bother about it. If you’re a girl and you got something like this on DMs – don’t worry, don’t take it personally. The person on the other side of the screen has an illness. Don’t cry over it. This sort of verbal aggression is another way women and non-binary people are silenced on social media. Men too, no doubt. I see how they speak during fan wars. Literally the entire gutter in the minds of people flows on social media. Ilaanti enno intensity boiis messages choostunta. Aalochinchadam mottham burra tho kaadhu, genitals tho maatrame. Ilaa sex abuse chestene veellaki normal.
Calling a woman a slut, L**ja and other words in regional languages is normalized.
But this is the point – if you’re a girl – you got something like this – remember it has nothing to do with you and has everything to do with them.
As for me – I have gotten so used to this that I genuinely wish the mentally ill people who send such messages and the families that raised them like this – healing.
When fathers are rockstars and dismantle the patriarchy 🙂
😀
Beginning from October 2018, I have heard and spoken to countless men who have gone through sexual abuse in more or less the same instances as women and non-binary people. Public Transport, educational institutions, medical evaluation, places of work, relatives and their own siblings and fathers at times. Somehow, all the stories I have heard are only of male aggressors.
As I say to everyone – regardless of gender – always remember it is not your fault. Your behaviour, your clothes, what you said, if you were drinking, etc etc doesn’t matter and is not an excuse for someone violating your body.
More often than not men tend to speak to a woman, incidentally a stranger like me, to share simply because bros and men lack the empathy or the understanding to respond properly to an instance like this.
Men have always wanted to brush this topic of sexual abuse and assault under the carpet because of homophobia.
I urge you to speak about this in your own circles and shed the toxic patriarchy that conditions you to believe that ‘such instances happen!! Brush it off and go! Be a man!!’ All of that is a bullshit response.
The response should be – to see if the complainant wants to take a legal recourse. How you can be there for the person and not be a judgmental prick. And dont assume and imagine. Be kind, compassionate and watch your words.
A man getting sexually abused is not his fault, just like a woman getting sexually abused or assaulted is not her fault. If female sexual abuse is called the woman’s fault and asked to shut up for the sake of family honour – male sexual abuse is silenced and far more.
Only thing I will say – enough of the bullshit. Speak up. It is NOT your shame. It is NOT your fault.
It is snowing inside my home today. Snowing cushion fillers courtesy Uppili.
This story and the girl in question here literally went through a horror story after being married at 15 to an abusive, alcoholic, taping-women-while-they-are-bathing sorta man, who would get drunk and beat her up and pour alcohol on their child and beat the child too. She’d lost one baby thanks to this man. In addition the entire family would join in to beat her up.
She’s in a better place now.
She had no agency to refuse marriage at the age of 15.
“She was married to a 27 year old man when she was 15. The husband asked for 35 savaran gold, 1 lakh worth appliances and 6 lakh as a loan from my father(I was just 7 years old then). And my father gave them whatever they’ve asked just for the well being of my sister”
This is what happens when you pay dowry thinking your daughter / sister will be happy. There’s usually no end to this harassment and violence.
Girls – do NOT give dowry. Find a nice partner (IF You want to marry – first ask yourself WHY you want to marry. Is it because your parents and society say so? Or is it because you cannot imagine living without this partner that you have met?) and you both can grow together, emotionally, mentally, financially. Money can be made.
A family that robs from you in the name of dowry would have definitely robbed from others, In some way or the other. If that’s OK with you – well your life, your choices.
Why is it ego when we dont even ask the men for money? 😂😂
People and their insecurities!
Awwww ❤️❤️
This is something new I am doing and I had a great time 🙂 Download the @storytel.in app and listen in.
Instagram – @storytel_tamil
Twitter – @storytel_in
www.storytel.com/in
If you want to know more about this condition please speak to @drmanjulaanaganiofficial at Care Hospitals. Here are 2 of her videos you can find on her Youtube Channel.
In the process of curating something new for @isleofskin ☺️😉
It’s round 3 of elimination, a night of songs from the legend ‘Sirivennela Seetharama Sastry’ sir 🙏🏻
We have @sameerabharadwaj and @kittuvissapragada joining us as special guests for this episode.
Don’t miss the @vochindia event live at 7.30pm IST TODAY, only on @clubhouse 👋
#voiceofclubhouse #voch #vochindia #telugu #india #live #singing #contest #musician #singer #artist #budding #talent #clubhouse #exclusive #tuesday #trending
