Shannon Purser Instagram – 🌷✨Backwoods Venus✨🌷 when I first saw these photos after our shoot in the summer, I didn’t know how to feel. they were beautiful. everything Valheria does is beautiful. she’s a true visionary and I consider myself so lucky every time we get to shoot together. the whole team behind these pictures is amazing and even though it was a humid, sweaty shoot in a creek that probably had snakes, it was a great day. so what was the hesitation? I felt exposed. I felt overwhelmingly aware of my body and how short it falls of the beauty standards our society has indoctrinated us with. indoctrinated me with. ever since I was maybe 10, I’d internalized the idea that fat is one of the worst things you can be. I learned that if you are fat, your options are to punish your psyche and your body until you are not or try to compensate however you can. I got good at makeup. I am strategic about how much skin I show and where. I cast myself as the “mom friend” even when it felt wrong because, in my mind, being desirable wasn’t really an option. I’ve realized over the years that I’m not just strategic about revealing my body. I’m strategic about revealing my soul- who gets to know me and how well. sometimes that’s wisdom. other times, it’s just a debilitating fear of vulnerability-a reflexive shrinking away from a potential hurt. what I do know is that the hiding hurts more than the exposure. dreading the moments someone wants to see me in my entirety, body and soul, hurts. so, here I am, exposing myself. I am not confident. I am just refusing to let my fear keep me from living. I am just me. photos: the legend herself, @valheria123 (she also did my nails bc what can’t she do?) makeup: @chandlerwest custom clothing and styling: @studio.tessafay hair styling and extensions: @_treyanthony @jessicawrighthair @your.mane.thing @melrosemcqueen assistants: the iconic @demetriusw @savanaogburn