Robert Gant Instagram – Reaching outside ourselves for things that feel good is a natural and enjoyable part of life. Whether it’s food, sex, a glass of wine, a roller coaster ride, a night at a casino, or falling in love, life is enhanced and a heck of a lot of fun when we partake of these pleasures. That said, the enjoyment of a good thing sometimes goes out of balance. As I heard in early recovery, first there was fun, then there was fun with problems, and then there were just problems. I was moving into the “fun with problems“ part 17 years ago when I decided to get sober off drugs and alcohol. The use of intoxicants has a long, deeply interwoven role in the journey of gay people. In some ways, it was an early source of liberation for a people coping with the trauma imposed by a society and world that vilified an intrinsic part of their humanity. I experienced freedom through them, because they allowed me to pull down the walls I had constructed to hide my sexuality and protect myself from the world. Those walls caused me not to be able to truly connect emotionally, romantically, or sexually. Alcohol and drugs, to some extent, helped me do that, and I’m grateful for the part they played back then when I lacked sufficient tools for healthy coping as a gay person. That said, I’m ultimately deeply grateful that I’ve gained the freedom to express these parts of myself without intoxicants because they were an unsustainable way to keep bringing down those walls. And they were slowly and subtly harming me. Instead, deconstructing the walls through the work I’ve done over the years has given me a joy and richness of living I couldn’t have envisioned as a boy. I have a deep love of life today, because I see what’s possible as we’re more fully capable of embracing the beauty of who we inherently are. #SoberLife #BestGayLife #17YearsSober #Freedom