Zachary Levi Instagram – I look at this lil’ dude and I see my life. Not merely because of the genetic obvious. I mean it’s like looking into the coolest, trippiest mirror. Even though he’s not “mine”, his parents are sooooooo lucky that he somehow got sooooooo much of his groovy AF uncle’s grooviness. 😏💅 But on a much, much deeper level as well. He was the truest reason why I didn’t end my life 5 years ago. He was only 1 at the time. Just a baby. I barely knew him, and he knew me even less. I wasn’t really concerned with the loss that I thought he would feel in that moment, cuz, ya know, baby. His entire reality was drinkin booby juice, shittin his pants, and makin the ladies swoon, as it should be. By the time he was intelligent enough to know what happened, it wouldn’t have any real affect on his little heart or mind. But that’s only half right. Once I allowed myself to realize how much ending my life would wreak havoc on the lives around me, especially my sisters, all I could imagine was how much that pain would inevitably spill off onto him. The anger, and confusion, and sadness that would be a part of his holidays and family gatherings, at least thru his most formative years. And therefore the amount of psychological trauma he would be experiencing at the hands of it all. Five short years ago I nearly ended it all because of years and years of unhealed psychological trauma, and in the middle of that darkness the idea of passing that on to this little soul was the only thing keeping me out of an early grave. Because I couldn’t bare that. He deserved to grow up in the healthiest, happiest, most loving family, and home possible. He deserved to have a mother who could be there for him entirely, and not still suffering thru whatever emotional damage I left her and the rest of my family and friends with. So today I have a lot to be thankful for. I’m thankful for all of my immeasurable blessings. I’m thankful for my wonderful friends and family, and all of their love. But mostly, I’m thankful for that moment of clarity in the midst of the darkness that kept me from trying to solve a very temporary problem with a very permanent solution. Happy Thanksgiving, y’all.