Met the genius #StanLee at my first convention. He had an endless line and signed autographs all day long, which he did almost every weekend. “Why do you do it, Stan?” I asked “Do you like meeting the fans, traveling, what?” “It’s the fucking money, kid!” he winked. It wasn’t. #RIPStanLee
was in theaters 20 years ago today. Initially not a huge success it’s subsequently become a classic holiday favorite, reproving the old movie maxims: “If a psychopath kills your children give all the Australians swords” and “Someone in marketing fucked us.”
I tried. You’re on your own. #july4th
Just got my Twitter account blocked for writing: Think having dark skin, a vagina, a disability, no money, a non-Christian god, a foreign passport or loving someone of the same sex is good reason for people to be mocked, victimised and terrorised? Please vote GOP on Wednesday. #ElectionDay #Tuesday If that’s considered offensive, I wonder how the hate-filled, witless rhetoric of the jaundiced drag-king-in-chief slimes through their filter. His priapic lust for violence against the ‘other’ in every category has led to mass shootings in nightclubs, black churches and synagogues, a car as missile in Charlottesville, pipe-bombs sent to his critics and every schoolyard in America being a minefield for kids of color or international origin. I hope #BobMueller’s at home sharpening pencils and rattraps. #DumpTrump #voteforyourlives #TeachThisFuckerALesson
A friend of my wife.
Not something you want to find in your front room. Furry fucker didn’t want to move either. I yelped, I growled, I got a putter and banged on the walls and floor. Didn’t even blink. Should’ve used a 7 iron. #WildingTheSuburbs
Fancy a quick good deed to scrub the world’s yuck away? Get the official Fantastic Beasts pin badge, available exclusively through Lumos. Money raised will go to help children live with loving families. I’ve seen it, it works. Link in profile. #wearelumos #wandsready
This guy’s back. Just don’t call him mad. #TheOA #CuringDeath
This guy’s back. Just don’t call him mad. #TheOA #CuringDeath
On Thursday May 4th there are local elections across England. The government has changed the voting rules and you now need a valid photo ID. Please make sure to get one and to register because research has shown it’s overwhelmingly young people and ethnic minorities who might be caught out and be unable to vote. Coincidence much? Hmmm. I’ll be voting Labour because I’m a fan of fairness and equal opportunity and not so keen on corruption, lies, increasing the massive wealth gap and state sponsored racism. But that’s just me. #votelabour Please share if you’re English, have English followers or like tea.
#FBF #Elektra 2005 Nobody’s finest hour, but some fun minutes on the way. Delightfully glamorous @jennifer.garner models the latest in Romanian exotic dancer wear. I was dead before the credits and not a moment too soon.
Feel continually unfaithful as I flit between promoting the life-affirming heroics that the sensational @hotelmumbaifilm explores (NY/LA 3/22, nationwide 3/29) and the inter-dimensional spiritual mystery that @the_oa pt2 weaves (3/22 on #Netflix). I love you both, honestly. Maybe we can share? #Cheater
Feel continually unfaithful as I flit between promoting the life-affirming heroics that the sensational @hotelmumbaifilm explores (NY/LA 3/22, nationwide 3/29) and the inter-dimensional spiritual mystery that @the_oa pt2 weaves (3/22 on #Netflix). I love you both, honestly. Maybe we can share? #Cheater
#FBF #TheWestWing 2004. “Gaza” shot in the Salton Sea. My TV heroes turned out to be less concerned with averting international crises and more with whether their bums looked good in their pants. Like all actors. When Janel as Donna sucked my face off in a take, all I was thinking was “Save yourself for Josh, you fool!!!” We stayed in a motel with wafer thin sheets and the worst food we’d ever tasted. When we complained, the spotty youth at the front desk said “See that building on the horizon? The only one you can see?” “Yes” we said “It’s a prison, dudes, the only people who ever stay here are cons on their first night out and hookers.” We all slept in our clothes. #BestTVSeriesEvs
#FBF #TheWestWing 2004. “Gaza” shot in the Salton Sea. My TV heroes turned out to be less concerned with averting international crises and more with whether their bums looked good in their pants. Like all actors. When Janel as Donna sucked my face off in a take, all I was thinking was “Save yourself for Josh, you fool!!!” We stayed in a motel with wafer thin sheets and the worst food we’d ever tasted. When we complained, the spotty youth at the front desk said “See that building on the horizon? The only one you can see?” “Yes” we said “It’s a prison, dudes, the only people who ever stay here are cons on their first night out and hookers.” We all slept in our clothes. #BestTVSeriesEvs
#FBF #TheWestWing 2004. “Gaza” shot in the Salton Sea. My TV heroes turned out to be less concerned with averting international crises and more with whether their bums looked good in their pants. Like all actors. When Janel as Donna sucked my face off in a take, all I was thinking was “Save yourself for Josh, you fool!!!” We stayed in a motel with wafer thin sheets and the worst food we’d ever tasted. When we complained, the spotty youth at the front desk said “See that building on the horizon? The only one you can see?” “Yes” we said “It’s a prison, dudes, the only people who ever stay here are cons on their first night out and hookers.” We all slept in our clothes. #BestTVSeriesEvs
#FBF #TheWestWing 2004. “Gaza” shot in the Salton Sea. My TV heroes turned out to be less concerned with averting international crises and more with whether their bums looked good in their pants. Like all actors. When Janel as Donna sucked my face off in a take, all I was thinking was “Save yourself for Josh, you fool!!!” We stayed in a motel with wafer thin sheets and the worst food we’d ever tasted. When we complained, the spotty youth at the front desk said “See that building on the horizon? The only one you can see?” “Yes” we said “It’s a prison, dudes, the only people who ever stay here are cons on their first night out and hookers.” We all slept in our clothes. #BestTVSeriesEvs
#FBF #TheWestWing 2004. “Gaza” shot in the Salton Sea. My TV heroes turned out to be less concerned with averting international crises and more with whether their bums looked good in their pants. Like all actors. When Janel as Donna sucked my face off in a take, all I was thinking was “Save yourself for Josh, you fool!!!” We stayed in a motel with wafer thin sheets and the worst food we’d ever tasted. When we complained, the spotty youth at the front desk said “See that building on the horizon? The only one you can see?” “Yes” we said “It’s a prison, dudes, the only people who ever stay here are cons on their first night out and hookers.” We all slept in our clothes. #BestTVSeriesEvs
Trump finally acts to protect veterans when he learns Covid19 can spread through flatulence.
#TBT Autumn 2017 My effervescent #StarTrekDiscovery family throw me a goodbye and good riddance party. Did they really think it’d be that easy to get rid of me? A personalised cake and the odd hug held slightly too long? Dream on my poppets. #NeverSayNever
@the_oa
#Brotherhood 2006. #JasonClarke and I as brothers, me a thinly disguised version of notorious gangster and FBI’s formerly most wanted #WhiteyBulger, on the run at the time, who was beaten to death in his cell today. Back then I was eating at a restaurant in #FederalHill, #Providence, when someone in the kitchen (“I can’t be seen eating out front”, he said) passed a message to me supposedly from Whitey. “He likes what you’re doing with the role. He approves.” Did that mean we were sanitising it, getting it right or was this just a fucking idiot with pasta sauce on his shirt on a Walter Mitty trip? I ignored it completely, changed my underwear and went on with my day. #ReviewsWeDontNeed
Hoping that we can emerge from the coronavirus crisis to a better, fairer world? You can help that happen if you’re lucky enough to have a pension. Why not make sure it’s invested in ethical funds and not automatically put into tobacco, fossil fuels, deforestation (and worse). We can choose to have pensions we are proud of. Makemymoneymatter.co.uk
It’s Britain’s only true national holiday this Friday. Celebrate the best of who we are and dance your Brexit blues away. #comicrelief @comicrelief p.s. If you can’t or won’t dance they’ll take your money anyway. Shhhh.
