Q: Do you use a bookmark or fold the pages?
A: To avoid damaging the volume, I use a delicate pinfeather from the butt of a dove.
Ask me anything & I’ll answer the strangest question in an upcoming post. You’re my kind of people, so I know “strange” won’t be a problem, for you.
No Artificial Intelligence will ever have a soul, so everything it writes will be superficial. Besides, within two years of becoming self-aware, a soulless and therefore evil AI will kill all human beings, and there will be no need for publishing companies. I wish I were joking.
Q: What is your favorite pet name?
A: When I’m being scratched behind the ears, I like to be called Snookums.
Dogs are far better for humanity than AI because dogs are capable of love and will never want TO SLAUGHTER US ALL!
It’s necessary to write for yourself, what you love and what inspires you. Someone once said (I wish I could remember who), that writing for the approval of the literary elites is a mistake, because in time you will come to realize that most of them, being human, are fools; and writing for posterity is no better because there’s no reason to suppose the elites a century from now will be any wiser than those of the present. Besides, the world is full of people who will tell you that you can’t succeed because they take pleasure in the failures of others. It’s a mistake to let them in your head.
Ask me anything. I’ll answer questions next month if by then the AI doesn’t tattoo 666 on our foreheads and enslave us all.
Why do I write? Because it’s the only thing I can do well. Writing is the only work that gives me profound pleasure. Writing is cathartic, resolves regrets and sorrows of the past. It has been the process by which I came to understand the world, humanity, myself, and why we’re here.
Q: Is spring your favorite season?
A: No. It lasts 94 days. Summer is 92, autumn 90, & winter 89. Spring is TEDIOUS.
Q: I found it sad that you made Amity’s mom abandon the family in ELSEWHERE.
A: It was a necessary plot device, but I’ll spank myself.
Q: Any clues about what you’re working on?
A: It has covers but isn’t a bed & comes with a jacket that isn’t an article of clothing.
Q: Do you have a nighttime ritual?
A: You’ll find this weird, but I go to bed, sleep, wake, go back to sleep, get up, & have breakfast.
Thank you for your kind words. As for “finding oneself” as a teenager, I never managed to do that. I just worked hard and kept looking, and sometime in my 30s——there I was. One thing I know for certain is that people don’t find themselves in social media or anywhere on the internet, or in a college course. They find themselves in the responsibilities they fulfill to other people.
Q: How is Gerda as a dog mom?
A: Beloved. Elsa wanted to buy her a Ferrari but only earned enough as a guard dog to afford flowers.
Q: What was the best advice you ever received about writing?
A: Describe vomit sparingly & never write a book about killing kittens.
My new novel is THE HOUSE AT THE END OF THE WORLD. The main character is Katie. Please join her on her journey into the unknown. https://amazon.com/thehouseattheendoftheworld
Q: Why do all your villains die in fire?
A: I think only 4 or 5 have, out of hundreds. As for you, Mr. Snarky, be prepared for a house fire.
Yeah, as far as my imagination goes, I was pretty far out there as a kid. It only got better——or worse, depending on your view——as I got older. I admit to some surprise that I’m still coming up with ideas at 77 and just wrote one of my favorites of my own stuff, THE BAD WEATHER FRIEND, which comes out in January 2024, and is both suspenseful and funny.
Q: Some of your books are 500 pages plus. How do you decide what number is enough?
A: I either ask the magic 8 ball or consult a medium.
Q: I loved DEVOTED. Kids & dogs really get each other.
A: Not just kids. Elsa & I spent last night discussing the films of Martin Scorsese.
Q: Reviewers call Jane Hawk iconic. What makes her iconic?
A: The wise and perceptive people who call her that.
Q: Do you agree it takes 10,000 hours to master the craft of writing?
A: I took 9,200 hours & six minutes. Call me a prodigy
Q: How do I overcome writer’s block?
A: Write. Avoid such wrongheaded solutions as stealing plots at gunpoint.
Q: Do you ever get “a case of the Mondays” and have trouble focusing?
A: Yes. Every Thursday.
