Michelle Kim McCoy

Michelle Kim McCoy Instagram – I wasn’t planning on posting on #infantlossawareness day but felt compelled to post the day after bc there is power in sharing when you’re in the middle of the story and not quite sure how it will end. That being said, I have already processed with my trusted circle of friends, I’ve grieved with @kellydlux, I went back to therapy and most importantly, I’ve invited Jesus into my pain and have allowed him to comfort me in my sadness and fill me with hope in the darkness.
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I once talked with a woman who had diabetes and I asked her if there was anything she would do differently in her past if she knew she was going to get diabetes. She said, “Eat more cake.” I was surprised by this response and pressed for clarity. She said “I avoided eating dessert so that I wouldn’t get diabetes and I got diabetes anyways. I wish I had enjoyed more cake.” I never thought more about that conversation until two months ago.
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When I saw my positive pregnancy tests, I had a moment of fear that it would end in miscarriage (since 1 in 4 end in miscarriage). I remembered the cake story and I danced. I danced with joy, I danced in celebration. And I am so glad that I did because I believe that every good and perfect gift is from the Lord. This baby was a good and perfect gift and I got to celebrate his/her life in my womb. I also know that God gives and takes away and He will continue to comfort and console me in times of trouble.
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Loss tends to cause us to either get further away from God or closer, and by His grace alone, I have clung so tightly to Him. I believe God to be so kind and merciful to my family and me. His character is not contingent on my circumstances. His character stays the same despite my circumstances. We live in a broken world and Jesus has come to redeem it so I can trust His perfect timing because I know that He never deprives us of what’s best for us. The Lord knows that we want to grow our family and only He gets to know when that time is. Thank you Jesus!! 🤲🏼 | Posted on 17/Oct/2021 04:37:23