This WILL sound made up…but I’m in the ACTUAL Barbie Film 🤯 No bloody idea how, but here we are…I’m an actual Ken (I talk a lot of sh!te so swipe for evidence 😂) Wish I had more to say about this, but I still think I’ve imagined it. Thank you to the person who made this happen, you know who you are, you glorious ray of human sunshine 🌝 Anyway, Barbie is in cinema’s next Friday 21st July, get it booked and try not to blink for too long around the middle of the film, quick blinks 👍 I love you all @barbiethemovie #barbiethemovie
This WILL sound made up…but I’m in the ACTUAL Barbie Film 🤯 No bloody idea how, but here we are…I’m an actual Ken (I talk a lot of sh!te so swipe for evidence 😂) Wish I had more to say about this, but I still think I’ve imagined it. Thank you to the person who made this happen, you know who you are, you glorious ray of human sunshine 🌝 Anyway, Barbie is in cinema’s next Friday 21st July, get it booked and try not to blink for too long around the middle of the film, quick blinks 👍 I love you all @barbiethemovie #barbiethemovie
This WILL sound made up…but I’m in the ACTUAL Barbie Film 🤯 No bloody idea how, but here we are…I’m an actual Ken (I talk a lot of sh!te so swipe for evidence 😂) Wish I had more to say about this, but I still think I’ve imagined it. Thank you to the person who made this happen, you know who you are, you glorious ray of human sunshine 🌝 Anyway, Barbie is in cinema’s next Friday 21st July, get it booked and try not to blink for too long around the middle of the film, quick blinks 👍 I love you all @barbiethemovie #barbiethemovie
This WILL sound made up…but I’m in the ACTUAL Barbie Film 🤯 No bloody idea how, but here we are…I’m an actual Ken (I talk a lot of sh!te so swipe for evidence 😂) Wish I had more to say about this, but I still think I’ve imagined it. Thank you to the person who made this happen, you know who you are, you glorious ray of human sunshine 🌝 Anyway, Barbie is in cinema’s next Friday 21st July, get it booked and try not to blink for too long around the middle of the film, quick blinks 👍 I love you all @barbiethemovie #barbiethemovie
This WILL sound made up…but I’m in the ACTUAL Barbie Film 🤯 No bloody idea how, but here we are…I’m an actual Ken (I talk a lot of sh!te so swipe for evidence 😂) Wish I had more to say about this, but I still think I’ve imagined it. Thank you to the person who made this happen, you know who you are, you glorious ray of human sunshine 🌝 Anyway, Barbie is in cinema’s next Friday 21st July, get it booked and try not to blink for too long around the middle of the film, quick blinks 👍 I love you all @barbiethemovie #barbiethemovie
Secondary school was savage 😐
8 weeks to 8 months 🤯 think I accidentally bought a Polar Bear…
A series of me annoying very famous people (ft. a heavily circumc!sed horse 🐴) Maddest day of my life, and I often travel to remote desserts for a spot of extreme ironing. If you haven’t got Barbie tickets yet, sort your priorities out you crazy mofos…comes out tomorrow 🥳 Happy Barbie Eve
A series of me annoying very famous people (ft. a heavily circumc!sed horse 🐴) Maddest day of my life, and I often travel to remote desserts for a spot of extreme ironing. If you haven’t got Barbie tickets yet, sort your priorities out you crazy mofos…comes out tomorrow 🥳 Happy Barbie Eve
A series of me annoying very famous people (ft. a heavily circumc!sed horse 🐴) Maddest day of my life, and I often travel to remote desserts for a spot of extreme ironing. If you haven’t got Barbie tickets yet, sort your priorities out you crazy mofos…comes out tomorrow 🥳 Happy Barbie Eve
A series of me annoying very famous people (ft. a heavily circumc!sed horse 🐴) Maddest day of my life, and I often travel to remote desserts for a spot of extreme ironing. If you haven’t got Barbie tickets yet, sort your priorities out you crazy mofos…comes out tomorrow 🥳 Happy Barbie Eve
A series of me annoying very famous people (ft. a heavily circumc!sed horse 🐴) Maddest day of my life, and I often travel to remote desserts for a spot of extreme ironing. If you haven’t got Barbie tickets yet, sort your priorities out you crazy mofos…comes out tomorrow 🥳 Happy Barbie Eve
Sadly, Reverend Sidebottom retired immediately after our magical day. Unsure why 🤷♀️ Hosting a wedding when the couple keeps legging it can be stressful (ask Rev Sidebottom👀) but so can finding car insurance. @mojainsurance (AXA UK’s new digital insurance brand) have de-stressed car insurance, so you’ll feel like your sipping tea, in a luxury spa, whilst receiving a full body massage from a world class masseuse, whose hands are made entirely from cashmere. When I’m not screaming or breathing heavily into a brown paper bag, my car is my happy place. A vessel of joy and memories, where I sing along to old-school gangster rap & knit handkerchiefs in the summer (not whilst driving). So join @mojainsurance and let them help you find your happy place too. You bloody well deserve it 😘 #mojahappyplace Ad
Don’t deny this…I’ve seen it! It’s terrifying and beautiful 🙃
Imagine: You KO on the bog…What generation dya want in the area? Cos I know my answer 😬 #toiletslay #itsgivingemergency
We’re all just pretending we’re not scared right? 😅
😳 Quite the talent…does come without a side of pink eye?
You glance at foot fetish video ONE TIME for 7 MILLI SECONDS & thats it…all you’re seeing for weeks 👍 On a separate note, send feet pics x Please don’t, that was a joke
There simply wasn’t time to undress 😅 @mac_griffiths_ @camholmess Not when such a thirst quenching & valid point was being made. Transport yourself from Sofa to Seychelles in the swig of drink with Fanta Lemon. Close your eyes and allow the summer vibes to engulf your body as the sweet lemony refreshment trickles down your throat 🍋. If you concentrate hard enough you can even feel a fresh sea breeze take the edge off the heat whilst your partner says… “it might be too hot” 🌞 That’s how summery it is. It’s a holiday…in your face #thirstquenched @fantagb_ireland ad
Girls…the distraction techniques are PHENOMENAL 👏🏻💩 (based on a true story…with most of what happened changed) Honestly, I’ve seen some of the best on the spot creativity of my life in these situations. It’s inspiring 🙏🏼 Haaaaaaappy Thursday 😘
Anyone else’s neighbours destroy your relaxation time? Just tryna unwind man, give it a bloody rest 🤬 @mac_griffiths_
The dog walkers have since found a new field 😅 & written strongest worded letters to the council
It’s horrifying to admit, but at some point, EVEN Extreme Ironing will get boring….😥 …and then what dya do? When even the institution that is Extreme Ironing becomes shrouded in monotony 😴 I’ll tell you what you do, you get those sweet cheeks of yours down to your local shop and indulge yourself in one of the many delightful products from the @arlaprotein range, and become the main character that you are. Take that moment in as you drink, suck or spoon thick proteiny yoghurt into your cake hole… Don’t be a backup dancer, drink #arlaprotein 💁♀️ #maincharactermoment Ad
Twerk-itus will affect 1 in 4 of us in our lifetimes. If you see symptoms, seek help immediately 🙏🏼 Currently, the only known cure for Twerkulous Iteitcus (Twerk-itus) is to download the Royal Match App and start playing for free… God Speed 🤌🏻 #royalmatch @royalmatch #ad
