Ashish Shakya Instagram – My father died last week. That’s not something I thought I’d have to say out loud. Not for many more years at least. But then you get that phone call, your heart drops like a stone and you know life will never be the same again.
“Life will never be the same again.” We say that as if we had any meaningful control over it to begin with. Life is a fickle beast and it snatched away a kind, gentle, brave, resilient and loving man.
Over the last few years, I’d have the occasional moment where I’d be in awe of everything my parents had done for us. I’d try and thank him but he’d just laugh it off and say I was being silly (and also did I want some fruit because they revoke your Dad License if you don’t offer your kids fruit 15 times a day.)
It’s not surprising that he brushed off that sentiment as silly formality. I mean what else could he say? “Cool, sending an invoice for my services as dad, inflation-adjusted.”
But I wasn’t being silly. Knowing him, and his journey and struggles, I was just incredibly grateful to be his son. No matter what fears needed slaying – monsters in the dark when I was six, or the barrage of anxieties in adulthood – he was always in my corner with a smile and words of encouragement. Little did he know that one of my biggest fears was that eventually, he would be gone. It feels so strange: the one man that could have helped me navigate this monstrous grief, is the man I’m grieving for.
Bye Papa. You are missed very, very much. I’m going to do my best to live my life in a way that would make you proud. Maybe we’ll meet again, somewhere in the great beyond, and I’ll get to hug you and watch movies with you again. And this time, I’ll take you up on that plate of fruit. I love you. | Posted on 29/Aug/2023 15:50:52
