The two main bumbag techniques
Touring a new show all around Australia and New Zealand next year – writing the jokes at the moment. My big plan is for it be very funny
We got engaged and hired a professional photographer to take these intimate snaps. Don’t Guy’s titties look good in slide two!?
We got engaged and hired a professional photographer to take these intimate snaps. Don’t Guy’s titties look good in slide two!?
We got engaged and hired a professional photographer to take these intimate snaps. Don’t Guy’s titties look good in slide two!?
We got engaged and hired a professional photographer to take these intimate snaps. Don’t Guy’s titties look good in slide two!?
We got engaged and hired a professional photographer to take these intimate snaps. Don’t Guy’s titties look good in slide two!?
Never meet your heroes
When Aaron and Paul asked me to a lunch they were calling “the big event” I was very excited. A chance to wine, dine and pick the brains of two of my greatest inspirations? I’d be mad to say no.
Lunch was a disaster, when I arrived they’d already ordered for the table but whenever I went to eat something they told me that was “table food” and not to be so rude, then they’d make a mouthful and pretend the table had a mouth underneath it and throw the food at my shoes. When I started to get upset they said they were just kidding around and I was welcome to try anything I pleased. This basically involved them pushing my head into all of the different dishes and asking me “How I was enjoying the food?”
Afterwards they asked me to direct a photoshoot in front of Auckland’s iconic Eden Park, I said sure thing, so long as they promise to take one photo with me. After over one hour and thousands of snaps they told me they “Weren’t feeling it” and confiscated my phone to send lewd texts and images to my immediate and extended family. Now no-one (including them) will text me back, they confiscated my car because I was “too sad to drive” and my phone battery is on 1%
These are not good men Eden Park Stadium, Auckland
If you know me then you know that I only ever got into improv comedy for the awards so this is massive for me
Holy moly! I am so excited to tour all over Australia and Aotearoa again with my brand new hour of stand up, 50,000,000 Guy Fans Can’t Be Wrong. Really pushing the limits of how popular I am in both the show title and the venue bookings. I legitimately cannot believe some of the rooms I’m going to play (the Civic!!!) and it is my deepest, darkest, most base desire to fill them up with people like YOU. The hard working instagram user who is reading this post. All shows go on sale THIS FRIDAY November 17th at 10AM local time
Huge thanks to @andicrownphotography for the photo and @hdmf for the immaculate design. Also to Elvis Presley for being my rock, my North Star and the inspiration for the poster Oceanía
One of the only jokes I’ve seen where a comedian is crazy enough to say the word oat or oats seven times in less than a minute. That is more than once every ten seconds – see if you can spot them all!
Wow! Did you know Olive took this photo!? 🤩🆒💗
How ‘bout a song? How ‘bout two completely different songs at once, in two languages?? @guy_mont & @amylouiseruffle have you covered. #TGYH Watch the full episode, mostly in colour, @10playau and @paramountplusau #TGYHau
What a way to wrap up the #TGYHSeasonFinale – watch the full episode on @10playau (link in bio) and catch up on the whole series while you’re there! #TGYH @kittyflanagan @guy_mont #TGYHau
Invite Collaborator: @amelia.earhart
Invite Collaborator: @amelia.earhart
You only get one shot with a fella like @paulwilliams
Here I am calling it how I see it on the topic of learning to be a spy
Wow! What an honour, I remember when I did my first open mic I dreamed of one day outgrowing comedy and graduating to the hallowed halls of being a personality. You can vote for me or any of the other nine nominees or you could put your phone down and talk to a loved one
Good luck to Guy Montgomery and all of the nominees
Debuting my new haircut on television tonight! Tune in to @hybpa at 8:40PM on @channel10au to see what Chelsie is calling “too short”
Very satisfying to see year’s eve falls on the 31st this year
Life is beautiful and precious!
Feeling unbelievably excited to soak up the sights and sounds of The Fast and the Furious before setting ourselves free from this stunning self built prison
Ten years of watching movies over and over and over again ends tonight – there is still time to join us in person OR online by following the link in our bio Hollywood Avondale
Tickets for my 2024 stand up tour are now on sale in all territories everywhere in the world (in Australia and New Zealand). The ticket link you ask? Why that is tucked away in one of the most obscure places on the internet (my bio)
I am sincerely excited about all of these shows and can’t wait to see you there
Been working really hard on something exciting to round out the year and I am so excited to finally be able to share it with you all! Behold… Senior Fettuccine
Sound off in the comments with what you think!
“Life’s simple. You make choices and you don’t look back.” – Han Lue | The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)
Han – as ever – is absolutely right! Never reflect, never regret, never learn anything… just do whatever you want all of the time and things will always work out.
After a year of educating ourselves under the tutelage of Dom Toretto and the Fast and the Furious family – it is with a simultaneously heavy and excited heart that we say goodbye to the Fast and Furious by going back to where it all began. Join us on Friday December 15 at the beautiful @hollywoodavondale for a screening of the Fast and the Furious (2001) followed by a live podcast!
Tickets to watch the movie and the podcast in the flesh are on sale now! Livestream tickets are on sale soon!
WRITE YOUR FAVOURITE MODEL OF CAR IN THE COMMENTS AND TIM WILL TELL YOU IF HE WOULD HAVE SEX WITH IT
Design by the incomparable @tomas.cottle
