“Ticks all the boxes”
“Perfect on paper”
“That’s a dealbreaker”
“They’re a ten but…”
“Not a good fit”
If you haven’t said one of these phrases yourself, you’ve probably heard one from a friend. Over dinner or drinks, you’ve likely dissected a recent first date or new relationship, contemplating whether this one will move “to the next level.” These checklists ooze with pragmatism. But don’t you want a little poetry? This logical approach leaves little room for eros, and our obsession with qualifications can rob us of the inexplicable and unexpected pleasure that comes with meeting a new person.
At SXSW this year, we explored the trappings of modern-day dating and The Other AI: Artificial Intimacy. Follow the link in my bio for the full conversation.
“It’s a cardinal rule in therapy that practitioners aren’t supposed to tell their patients what to do or how to live. Instead, it’s their job to sagely guide them toward a new perspective.” There are however rules I live by that act as guideposts and inspiration for creating deep connections, expressing myself freely, and having a bit of fun.
Join me on @thecut as I explore Rules To Live By with writer Bindu Bansinath via the link in my bio.
“It’s a cardinal rule in therapy that practitioners aren’t supposed to tell their patients what to do or how to live. Instead, it’s their job to sagely guide them toward a new perspective.” There are however rules I live by that act as guideposts and inspiration for creating deep connections, expressing myself freely, and having a bit of fun.
Join me on @thecut as I explore Rules To Live By with writer Bindu Bansinath via the link in my bio.
“It’s a cardinal rule in therapy that practitioners aren’t supposed to tell their patients what to do or how to live. Instead, it’s their job to sagely guide them toward a new perspective.” There are however rules I live by that act as guideposts and inspiration for creating deep connections, expressing myself freely, and having a bit of fun.
Join me on @thecut as I explore Rules To Live By with writer Bindu Bansinath via the link in my bio.
“It’s a cardinal rule in therapy that practitioners aren’t supposed to tell their patients what to do or how to live. Instead, it’s their job to sagely guide them toward a new perspective.” There are however rules I live by that act as guideposts and inspiration for creating deep connections, expressing myself freely, and having a bit of fun.
Join me on @thecut as I explore Rules To Live By with writer Bindu Bansinath via the link in my bio.
“It’s a cardinal rule in therapy that practitioners aren’t supposed to tell their patients what to do or how to live. Instead, it’s their job to sagely guide them toward a new perspective.” There are however rules I live by that act as guideposts and inspiration for creating deep connections, expressing myself freely, and having a bit of fun.
Join me on @thecut as I explore Rules To Live By with writer Bindu Bansinath via the link in my bio.
“It’s a cardinal rule in therapy that practitioners aren’t supposed to tell their patients what to do or how to live. Instead, it’s their job to sagely guide them toward a new perspective.” There are however rules I live by that act as guideposts and inspiration for creating deep connections, expressing myself freely, and having a bit of fun.
Join me on @thecut as I explore Rules To Live By with writer Bindu Bansinath via the link in my bio.
“It’s a cardinal rule in therapy that practitioners aren’t supposed to tell their patients what to do or how to live. Instead, it’s their job to sagely guide them toward a new perspective.” There are however rules I live by that act as guideposts and inspiration for creating deep connections, expressing myself freely, and having a bit of fun.
Join me on @thecut as I explore Rules To Live By with writer Bindu Bansinath via the link in my bio.
How to Pick Your Partner 🧡
Looking for a healthier relationship? @estherperelofficial has the answers.
Head to ep 1277 on The School of Greatness, everywhere you get podcasts. 🙌
“Am I being gaslit or am I overly sensitive?”
In my new episode of Where Should We Begin?, I speak to a woman who called me for a reality check. The content of her examples told me her side of the story: he hounded her when she was sick. He picked fights right before seeing friends (and then welcomed said friends as if nothing was wrong). He berated her constantly about how mean she was, all whilst yelling at her. Her tone, unsure and exhausted, told me more. She has struggled with boundary setting before and wonders if she is repeating the pattern here.
We hear the term “gaslighting” all the time now, often applied to a whole range of behaviors, some of which apply and some of which do not. While I couldn’t answer her question, the question itself revealed so much. To hear her story unfold, listen to “Esther Calling – Am I Being Gaslit?” on Apple Podcasts or your preferred podcast platform through the link in my bio.
The art of conversation is about healthy amounts of thoughtful speaking and hardcore listening, asking questions and navigating commonalities and differences. While some find it daunting, for others, it’s second nature.
Swipe through for a few questions to try out this holiday season with loved ones or kind strangers. For the complete list, visit my recent newsletter, linked in my bio.
Sexuality is often a subject silenced in childhood, even shamed, then suddenly you’re supposed to feel comfortable discussing as you reach adulthood. It is a fact of life, a major facet of our human existence – so let’s discuss it.
I recently sat down with @emrata on her podcast, High Low. In this episode, we delve into the deep-seated dynamics of relationships, examining the intertwining threads of power, desire, and the taboo realm of pornography. Join us as we explore the motivations behind infidelity and confront the reasons why we cheat. Tune into this conversation that encourages us to reflect on the intricacies of human relationships through the link in my bio.
Sexuality is often a subject silenced in childhood, even shamed, then suddenly you’re supposed to feel comfortable discussing as you reach adulthood. It is a fact of life, a major facet of our human existence – so let’s discuss it.
I recently sat down with @emrata on her podcast, High Low. In this episode, we delve into the deep-seated dynamics of relationships, examining the intertwining threads of power, desire, and the taboo realm of pornography. Join us as we explore the motivations behind infidelity and confront the reasons why we cheat. Tune into this conversation that encourages us to reflect on the intricacies of human relationships through the link in my bio.
Sexuality is often a subject silenced in childhood, even shamed, then suddenly you’re supposed to feel comfortable discussing as you reach adulthood. It is a fact of life, a major facet of our human existence – so let’s discuss it.
I recently sat down with @emrata on her podcast, High Low. In this episode, we delve into the deep-seated dynamics of relationships, examining the intertwining threads of power, desire, and the taboo realm of pornography. Join us as we explore the motivations behind infidelity and confront the reasons why we cheat. Tune into this conversation that encourages us to reflect on the intricacies of human relationships through the link in my bio.
We loved this insight from @estherperelofficial so much! Do you agree?
Hello London!
I am excited to the announce that I am headed to the Eventim Apollo on October 2nd! For ONE NIGHT ONLY, join me for a conversation on the future of relationships, love and desire.
Tickets go on sale on August 4th but you can access a special presale starting NOW until tomorrow via the link in my bio!
I hope to see you there!
He reached out because a year after the discovery of his affair, they aren’t fighting anymore, but they certainly haven’t moved on. I guide these two towards a more honest conversation, and a revelation about their communication.
Can they recover from this?
And do both of them really want to?
Listen to “I’ve Had Better”, a classic session from the first season of Where Should We Begin? via the link in my bio to find out.
In my newest episode of Where Should We Begin? I sit down with a new couple who recently began a long distance romance. However, they’ve actually known each other for many years because he was a friend of her brother. Her family became a family for him as well, and she was the younger sister. He grew up in a house where love was never a guarantee. She had the seemingly perfect family, and all the love in the world.
Together, they struggle to find their footing and separate themselves from their vastly different stories. So they’ve known each other, but they don’t know each other.
Tune into “Long Distance and Lost” on Apple Podcasts or your preferred podcast platform via the link in my bio.
Love can be a complicated journey filled with unexpected twists and turns. Join me in an episode of “Where Should We Begin?” titled “I Left. Now I Want My Wife Back” as I take you through a man’s candid journey of the complexities of love, regret, and the quest for redemption.
Tune into the full conversation through the link in my bio. And if you’re interested, on my Apple Podcasts Subscription, I check in with him after a summer spent carefully reconnecting with his ex-wife and learning to manage the guilt and shame.
It all started with a secret.
And over time, the secret turned into a lie. The lie turned into a deception. The deception turned into a betrayal. And now. It has become a fiasco.
In the premiere episode of Where Should We Begin? titled “Donor Daddy”, I delve into the intricate web of consequences that stem from a well-kept secret. Listen to the full episode on Apple Podcasts or your preferred podcast platform via the link in my bio.
In my recent episode of Where Should We Begin? I spoke to a woman who called me with the question “Am I being gaslit or overly sensitive?”
Over the course of the episode, we explored her roller coaster relationship with her partner that often left her questioning her reality. I often wonder after these sessions what evolves, as the conversation itself is usually just the beginning.
In this case, six months after speaking with this woman, I received another phone call from her. This time she called me with an answer. In my new Apple Podcasts subscription episode, listen to our call as she shares with me what has happened in the last few months since we spoke.
Cultural differences shape our ideology of love, of conflict, of values, of life — to name a few. The holidays serve as a poignant reminder of our cultural roots, emphasizing traditions, customs, and values — highlighting the beauty of diversity.
During this time of gathering, I revisited this prompt from my card game, Where Should We Begin: A Game of Stories. I’m curious, what is an important value you draw from your culture?
My response? My sense of interdependence is the immediate one that comes up. For me, it’s the sense that what happens to me has an effect on you, and what you’re doing also affects me. If I have a problem, the first thing I ask is not: What shall I do? But, who can I ask? I’m honored when people turn to me too. I continuously seek to help and be helped.
I look forward to reading your responses.
If you attended my virtual Sessions Live supervision group this past November, you know that I strongly believe community is fundamental to the work of improving your practice and growing as a therapist. But to put a finer point on it, diversity of thought in that community both professionally and personally is critical. Inviting different viewpoints, background experience and training, can broaden our perspectives.
That is exactly why I invited my colleague, Terry Real to evaluate my work. In a new Apple subscriber bonus episode, @realterryreal sits down to offer his professional perspective on an old Esther Calling episode of Where Should We Begin? titled “Still Single at 40.” Tune in on Apple Podcasts as Terry shares what he would have done differently to help a man who wants long term partnership, despite sabotaging every relationship he’s been in.
If you attended my virtual Sessions Live supervision group this past November, you know that I strongly believe community is fundamental to the work of improving your practice and growing as a therapist. But to put a finer point on it, diversity of thought in that community both professionally and personally is critical. Inviting different viewpoints, background experience and training, can broaden our perspectives.
That is exactly why I invited my colleague, Terry Real to evaluate my work. In a new Apple subscriber bonus episode, @realterryreal sits down to offer his professional perspective on an old Esther Calling episode of Where Should We Begin? titled “Still Single at 40.” Tune in on Apple Podcasts as Terry shares what he would have done differently to help a man who wants long term partnership, despite sabotaging every relationship he’s been in.
