I thought it was a break but it was more of a breaking. Not necessarily breaking down, but NOT not down. Maybe open.
It’s been a tough season, but an important one. I shared my thoughts in a post, “Hard Seasons and Wild Hearts,” on the new website, where you’ll also find our latest project — The ABK Edit. I think you’re going to love the stories. You can find the link in my profile.
From my wild heart to yours. ❤️
We’re back from our fall break and out of the gate with Part 2 of an incredible conversation with Lisa Lahey on “Dare to Lead.”
I won’t lie: This conversation was hard as hell for me. But it was a game changer—and I’m so grateful to Lisa and all the work she and Robert Kegan have done on the “immunity to change” theory.
In this episode, Lisa continues to walk me through something I’m desperate to change (and somewhat refusing to change). And she does it with gentleness, tenacity, and thoughtfulness.
I have no doubt you’ll get just as much out of this conversation as I did. Listen at the link in bio.
Welcome to Part 1 of my conversation with Bono, recorded live at the historic @paramountaustin in Austin, Texas. I have been a fan since the very beginning, and this event, presented by @aclfestival’s Bonus Tracks, was sheer magic.
Eighteen-year-old me—the girl with the asymmetric haircut, combat boots, and a Walkman that played @u2’s “War” album from daylight to dusk every single day for a year—is wondering, How in the hell did I pull this off?
The answer is, I don’t know. What I do know is that we were mentally in sync, spiritually locked in, and we talked about everything from rock and roll and activism to faith and the power of paradox.
Bono’s new memoir, “Surrender: 40 Songs, One Story,” is the ultimate love story—to his wife, Ali; to his family and friends; to the band; and to all of us who’ve found both peace and provocation in the music. Listen at the link in bio.
In Part 2 of my conversation with Father Richard Rohr, we talk about facing our shadows and living and loving through the second half of life, and we laugh. A lot.
What a gift to be with him at the Center for Action and Contemplation in Albuquerque. A deep and true blessing. Listen at the link in bio.
When we go into organizations to facilitate the Dare to Lead courage-building work, we ask people to anonymously share what they need to show up and really dig into the work. We also ask them what will get in the way.
On today’s “Dare to Lead” podcast, Barrett and I are coding some of that data and sharing what we’re learning (in real time). It’s a little messy, but you already know that we’re a little messy.
It’s always stunning that no matter the organization, size of the group, or issues in the culture, the answers are almost exactly the same. Fast saturation, in qualitative research terms. It makes sense—we all need to be seen, heard, and valued.
Listen at the link in bio.
I loved and NEEDED this “Unlocking Us” two-parter with @christophergermerphd—I can’t wait for y’all to listen!
When I was doing research for “Atlas of the Heart,” I came across the concept of “the near enemy.” Talk about unlocking! I’d been working on a theory of meaningful connection for two decades, and I was totally stuck until I discovered this concept.
Near enemies masquerade as the qualities that we hold important, but they actually corrode those qualities. For example, pity is the near enemy of compassion. When we’re struggling, compassion helps us feel connection and brings healing. But what about someone who responds with, “Bless your heart,” or “You poor thing”? Ugh. Pity doesn’t help us feel connected—it drives separation and makes us feel worse.
Chris has done wonderful work on the near enemies of fierce compassion—that fiery compassion that drives activism, organization, and social justice work. I learned so much from this conversation—Chris’s introspection, reflection, and care are so powerful and helpful.
Glad you’re here for this one. Listen at the link in bio.
I’m so grateful that we’re signing off with Living BIG. It’s a topic near and dear to my heart.
Thank you to my sisters, to the best damn podcast team in the world, and to all of you. You can continue to find all of our podcasts on Spotify.
Stay awkward, brave, and kind. ❤️
Listen at the link in bio.
I flew to Albuquerque to spend the day with Father Richard Rohr. We laughed, I cried a little, we laughed some more, and I told him why his work pisses me off sometimes. He thoroughly delighted in that last part.
We talked about my favorite quotes from two of his books that have been an important part of my recovery: “Breathing Under Water: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps” and “Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life.”
This quote from “Breathing Under Water” is so simple yet so hard: “All mature spirituality, in one sense or another, is about letting go and unlearning.”
I also love what he writes about religion: “When religion does not move people to the mystical or non-dual level of consciousness it is more a part of the problem than any solution whatsoever. It solidifies angers, creates enemies, and is almost always exclusionary of the most recent definition of ‘sinner.’ At this level, it is largely incapable of its supreme tasks of healing, reconciling, forgiving, and peacemaking. When religion does not give people an inner life or a real prayer life, it is missing its primary vocation.”
I’m grateful to share this with you. I’m grateful for my time with Father Richard and the loving staff of the Center for Action and Contemplation. Listen at the link in bio.
Peace be with you.
Grounded in and tethered by love. I can’t think of a better way to hold on when the water gets swift and deep.
Listen to Part 2 of my conversation with @erwinrwb on “Leadership Is a Relationship” at the link in bio.
Talking with @erwinrwb about his new book, “Leadership Is a Relationship.”
I love that there are boxed “Big Lessons” and key learnings in each chapter. Here are three of my favorite callouts on accountability:
1. Accountability based in care inspires us to grow, rather than just fear negative consequences. Directly confronting problems in a relationship can not only lead to discrete solutions, but also create deeper intimacy.
2. Great leaders tailor accountability to the nuances of both situation and person. Screaming matches are no match for intelligent, sensitive, and strategic coaching.
3. Introspection is one of our best tools for increasing accountability. By better understanding ourselves and those around us, we can better diagnose problems, have more specific conversations about fixing them, and improve our shared situations.
You can listen to Part 1 of our two-parter with Mike at the link in bio. Let’s go!
I’m teaming up with our friends at @ACLFestival Bonus Tracks for a one-on-one conversation with @u2 front man and activist Bono to discuss his new memoir, “Surrender: 40 Songs, One Story,” live at Austin’s historic @paramountaustin. Join us on November 10 from 4 to 5:30 p.m. Tickets go on sale tomorrow, November 4, at 10 a.m. (CST). Link in bio.
This is from Part 2 of my “Unlocking Us” podcast conversation with @christophergermerphd.
The piece on sameness being the near enemy of common humanity is SO important!
“Some people say, ‘Can’t we just stop talking about our differences and focus instead on the fact that we are all human beings?’ This is the assumption of sameness and is a near enemy of common humanity because it disregards and marginalizes the experiences of others.
Fierce compassion includes the courage to have difficult conversations about our differences based on race, ethnicity, ability, gender, sexual orientation and a multitude of other identities.”
Listen at the link in bio.
When I crossed paths with @janiceomadeke earlier this year at Capital Factory—an accelerator and incubator firm in Austin—I knew in a split second that I wanted her to be a guest on “Dare to Lead.”
And, as you’ll hear Janice say in the episode that dropped today, those moments when we listen to our bodies and intuition can be the moments that change our lives.
A quick word about Janice: She grew up in the D.C. area, the proud daughter of immigrants, and found her love of graphic design, coding, and problem-solving fairly early in life (h/t to her dad, the Backstreet Boys, and a copy of “HTML for Dummies”).
She pursued those passions through her studies and into her early career in corporate America. But, in true entrepreneurial/start-up spirit, she soon got sparked by a facet of workplace culture in need of improvement: mentoring.
I’m skimming over many years of hard work and smart decision-making here, but eventually Janice founded and grew The Mentor Method, a sort of eHarmony-like platform that smartly pairs mentors and mentees in ways that help companies develop their talent pools and increase employee engagement.
Earlier this year, The Mentor Method was acquired by The Cru, a Black women–led national women’s training organization, making Janice, now an Austin resident, the first Black woman in the city’s history to pull off a venture-backed tech exit.
Janice’s combo of intellect and humility—understanding what we do well, where we need to grow, and being unafraid to ask for help along the way—is deeply inspiring.
And since I’ve given a shout-out to Janice’s dad here, I’d be remiss not to mention her mom as well. Janice credits her as the muse of The Mentor Method. This is a story about work, determination, and love.
I hope you’ll check out today’s #DaretoLead at the link in bio. It’s a masterclass on walking through this world with an immense amount of grace and courage.
Our organization-wide book read for February is “One Drop: Shifting the Lens on Race” by @yabablay.
This book shattered so much of what I was taught about the history of Blackness as an identity, and it opened my eyes to the breadth and depth of the lived Black experience. It moved me in a serious way. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since I first read it and talked to Yaba on “Unlocking Us.”
I can’t encourage you enough to add this to your book club reading list. It’s especially powerful when read and discussed in community.
Thank you for your fearless work, Yaba.
Living BIG:
Boundaries
Integrity
Generosity
This special two-parter with Ashley will be our last “Unlocking Us” podcast with Spotify. We’re not sure what’s next, but we are 100% grateful for sharing this long walk with you.
Ashley and I take on the topics of generosity, resentment, boundaries, and grief. In this episode, I read a long passage to you from “Rising Strong.” It’s all about how our Living BIG strategy kicked off (spoiler alert: I am very, very, very pissed-off in this story).
You can listen to the podcast and our entire library of episodes on Spotify. You can also go to stories and swipe up to join our mailing list. We’ll keep you posted on what’s next!
Link to the podcast is in my profile.
If you haven’t seen “From Scratch” yet on Netflix, you’ve got to see it!
But first—before you disappear into a full-on binge—you’re going to want to listen to this week’s “Unlocking Us,” with @atticalocke and @tembilocke.
The Locke sisters are the series’ writers, showrunners, and executive producers—and they are a creative force.
And this series—which is based on Tembi’s memoir, about her real-life journey of love, loss, family, and home—grabs you by the heart. The writing is beautiful and so realistically grounded in all of the messiest bits of life. And the performances and scenery (Italy!) are equally stunning.
When I was watching it, Steve kept calling down to me, saying, “Are you OK?”
And I’d just say, “This is full-contact engagement. These women aren’t letting me off the hook.”
Attica and Tembi don’t let me or themselves off the hook in our conversation either. This is one you aren’t going to want to miss.
Check out Part 1 at the link in bio.
Vote!
I can’t believe it’s been a year! Happy birthday to Atlas!
Thank you to Apple for naming it one of the best audiobooks of 2022.
And thank you to YOU! Atlas has made it to the final round of the Goodreads Choice Awards. This is a special one because it’s chosen by readers, and that’s why I write. I mean that and a little “researcher heal thyself!”
Thanks y’all.
Can’t wait for this convo with @AdamGrant! 100% guarantee that we’ll laugh, I’ll learn something new, and we’ll definitely disagree about something. Join us! And, as always, #ThinkAgain
My two-word check-in today: think-y and nest-y.
I’m feeling contemplative and ready to clean. And I’m so ready to decorate for the holidays.
I’m actually in cleaning sport mode. My family is in hiding.
My gratitude today:
Gathering with my whole family, including the in-laws and the out-laws. And having tamales and shrimp campechana. We don’t do turkey. We stopped after one particularly hard Thanksgiving when everyone was almost in tears and I turned to Ashley and said, “I don’t even like turkey. It tastes like dead bird.” Ashley snapped back, “Or like someone effed-up the chicken.”
Barrett chimed in with, “Not a fan.” That was that.
I’m also massively grateful for our recent podcasts guests.
Our organization is off next week for fall break, so a reminder: Part 2 of my conversation with Bono drops on Wednesday. 🤘🏻
And I can’t wait for you to hear the two-parter that’s coming up on the “Dare to Lead” podcast. I’m digging in with Dr. Lisa Lahey, co-author of “Immunity to Change” along with Dr. Robert Kegan.
I’ve been doing a lot of research on the “immunity to change” theory. It’s deeply powerful and explains why lasting, meaningful change is damn hard.
Well, I jumped on for the podcast with Lisa, and rather than simply talking about the process, we actually engaged in it around something I’m desperate to change (and somewhat refusing to change). She is so skilled at asking questions and framing conversations—this is a MASTER class! It was also incredibly vulnerable. My real-time revelation? I am often perpetuating the exact behavior that is depleting me. It’s a conversation you’re not going to want to miss.
As always, I’m grateful for this community and the way y’all show up. What’s your two-word check-in and what are you grateful for today?
We’re back with Part 2 of my conversation with @atticalocke and @tembilocke—the incredibly creative, loving, badass women behind “From Scratch” on Netflix.
In this episode, we dig into the success of the show, how and why it resonates, the intentionality behind certain creative and storytelling decisions—and the food. The food, y’all. I’m obsessed with the food scenes in this show.
What’s your favorite food moment in the series? Leave it in the comments below.
I said it last week and I’ll say it again: If you haven’t yet seen “From Scratch,” you really need to.
Glad you’re here for this conversion, at the link in bio.
This conversation with @rare_coach and @rtulshyan is an invitation.
It’s not an easy one. And I don’t think anyone who does diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging (DEIB) work extends it thinking that it is.
But I don’t think I’ve heard or had a conversation that was more honest about not just what’s on our minds but what’s in our hearts—and about the importance of belonging to ourselves and each other.
We know from neuroscience from the past decade that in the absence of connection and belonging, there is always suffering. And there is so much suffering in the world today. And so much of it is because people believe that the work you need to do to foster connection and belonging is just too scary. But I don’t think it’s nearly as scary as not doing it.
Grateful to Aiko and Ruchika. Listen at the link in bio.
I can’t wait for y’all to meet one of my creative loves — Fort Lonesome!
They’re featured on the ABK Edit today.
This quote from Kathie Sever, the @ftlonesome founder, is so powerful. And when it comes to our creations, it’s very tough to NOT personalize.
Check out the ABK Edit on brenebrown.com. The link is in profile (and we’re so proud of this new content).
See you on the flip side of the ego-landscaping!
Slide one: 📸 by @minkmade
Slide two: 📸 by @wynnmyers
I can’t wait for y’all to meet one of my creative loves — Fort Lonesome!
They’re featured on the ABK Edit today.
This quote from Kathie Sever, the @ftlonesome founder, is so powerful. And when it comes to our creations, it’s very tough to NOT personalize.
Check out the ABK Edit on brenebrown.com. The link is in profile (and we’re so proud of this new content).
See you on the flip side of the ego-landscaping!
Slide one: 📸 by @minkmade
Slide two: 📸 by @wynnmyers
