I was scrolling, trying to find something #funny. But nothing … I mean nothing … struck me as such this morning. The weather report is reading cloudy with a huge low pressure system stagnant above me.
Not one to let my moods choose me, I embarked on a sojourn through my phone to see if I could find anything funny there. While this is not that I found it uplifting nevertheless.
1) I was outside mid 2023. Smiling. If I found a way to be okay that day, I should be able to do it today, too.
2) It also confirmed the wisdom of my re-homing Tess. I had massive guilt about that. But two birds in a day? I don’t specifically recall that, but it did remind me of the daily stress of in-home carcass location and collection, so I am gonna let that go.
3) Did you see me realize my shirt was too low? Much of what many of you so kindly dub #authenticity on my part is typically little more than laziness and a tomboy nature. I should have checked the shot and made changes, but that would be the rational response of an individual who is patient. As you all know, that ain’t me.
I said all of that to say this:
Don’t let your mood pick you. And most certainly don’t let any random individuals with whom you have contact today pick your mood either. That is not the kind of work you want to outsource.
#emotions #emotionalintelligence.
Busy is good.
Happy Birthday Baby.
You have to check your program on a regular basis. That which may have been an appropriate #goal a while ago may no longer be what you need.
We’re such creatures of habit. Once we find something that works in the moment we tend to stick with it even when that moment has passed.
When my world went dark, I had trouble getting out of the bed but I still needed to accomplish things. So I made doing things FROM the bed that much easier. It was a good solve in the interim but it works against me now.
So I am doing the uncomfortable thing. The new thing. The get you butt out of bed and get dressed thing.
Relevant #Tolerism: Check the corners of your comfort to keep from getting stuck in it, as opposed to rejuvenated by it.
##emotionalintelligence #emotions #grief #belief
Overalls! I love that kinda stuff.
Makes me wanna get dressed.
#halara
I hope our day go better.
Happy #Saturday
Shoutout @dadpack
#widow #oldchick new #dog dogs #dogsofinstagram
#Panic is the tsunami of #emotional weather.
Fueled by #fear, it resists all logic and reason.
Eventually, it blinds you to what’s happening right in front of you.
Half of the problems I have are a function of my inability to remain calm when faced with new and scary. I’m better now, though. I figured out that in any battle, the first fight I have is always with myself.
In order to successfully navigate a situation, I have to get this flighty chick to stop whirling about the edges of whatever catastrophe I have created in my cranium so I can see what the issue really is.
#Politians have known this forever. If you can scare the people first you can get them to do anything, even if it’s not in their best interests.
Remain calm.
Don’t get #angry when annoyed will do.
Don’t confront when you have yet to simply inquire.
Don’t match energy. Dictate atmosphere with #logic, #kindness and a sprinkle of OLD SCHOOL #adulting.
#Grace is never a waste even if it’s not reciprocated.
I don’t know how I got here from the phone. I guess it just reminded me of all the time I’ve wasted doing ludicrous things because a chick has so much trouble staying cool.
It’s annoying. But I am improving so … All progress should be duly noted.
Shoutout @pubity #emotionalintelligence #phone fears.
Dumb stuff happens all day long. You startle. You drop stuff. You miss a step and fall.
You’ll lose stuff. You’ll break something and then you’ll stub your toe.
Others will irritate you. Cut you off on the road. Give bad customer service. Say something insensitive…
If you collect all the dumb stuff that happens to you in a big box of ‘I’m Annoyed ’ it will get heavy enough to crush you even though the individual nonsense in said box has no real weight.
Bad stuff is gonna happen. I mean tough stuff. The thing is if you hang on to the small nonsense all along the way and feel all outdone by everything that doesn’t go quite right, when something really distressing happens you’re already emotionally raw and it will be much worse.
If your nonsense threshold is high you get to laugh at the small ridiculous stuff that doesn’t mean that much.
That way you’ll be fresh for the fight with the big stuff.
These two had an awkward moment that they decided to turn into comedy. Let’s all follow suit.
#emotions #emotionalintelligence
Shoutout @vivint
#Dogs #Widows #Mood #Mistakes
I used to be the biggest curmudgeon. I thought the world was a scary place and for the life of me I could not figure out how everyone was just out there smiling and laughing when there was so much to worry about.
Naturally anxious I had the good fortune of having an extraordinary emotionally intelligent mother.
She talked about everything people did in terms of how they felt. And if you want to be in the business of understanding others you have to be able to understand how they feel. Here’s the hard part, you can’t judge them while you’re trying to understand them.
If you tag them too soon with a label that doesn’t fit you will consume all new information about them from the skewed perspective of your opinion and you will get it wrong.
I went to an all girls high school. I was an anxious kid who went off to college at 17. All the guys thought I was stuck up and snooty. I was simply scared of them.
The first guy I ended up dating was the first one to look past the perception and talk to me.
We are killing nuance these days. People who have nothing but a platform and an opinion are giving full throated psychological assessments of people based on a ten second video. And those assessments are made not by inquiry but by running ten cents worth of information through a million dollars worth of stuff you don’t know, that bears interest born of bias.
Let’s not be so anxious to wag fingers. Let’s not make every social sin subject to the death penalty.
Let’s not pile on other people’s pain just because it’s good fodder.
Enjoy people who are different. Get interested not anxious. My #life got a lot better when I sat down my predilection to judge hastily based on how I felt and learned to assess accurately because I understood how others did.
Relevant #Tolerisms:
Everyone sees through the prism of their past. Don’t come to conclusions about what you see until you understand how your history bends the light you shine on it.
Think twice before judging people stuck on the side of a mountain you haven’t been required to climb.
#emotions #emotionalintelligence #grace #peace
You know how I feel about unbridled emotionality. I mean really.
And what was she hollering about?
It’s too early in the day to be this annoyed. I’m gonna stop typing and make myself a roast beef sandwich.
#mood: not nearly stable enough for continued public interaction.
See how that works? I am responsible for my own cranky. Got no business spreading it around.
#emotional #emotionalintelligence #thestupidtax
Shoutout @clubb_az
Relevant #Tolerism: Be slow to #anger. Everybody’s got a boatload of crap they’re trying to get through.
Well I went for the whole ride and this is what I learned:
1) Never get a #dog while you’re in the midst of an #emotional meltdown. I think I off loaded a fair bit of crazy onto that dog. And she handed it right back to me.
2) I have a lot of good friends. More than I knew, which is heartening for a solitary sister like myself.
3) Don’t panic. It never helps.
4) If you do end up panicking don’t beat yourself up about it. I spent half the year upset about the frequency and extent to which I got upset. lol now I’m mad at myself about that, which, ultimately, I find funny so I guess it all comes out in the wash.
5) I loved him more than I knew.
6) I am stronger than I thought.
Shoutout @rising.tech
Relevant #Tolerism: you’ve won even if you didn’t get where you were headed as long as you end up somewhere better than you were.
Though not yet healed I am no longer hysterical.
All progress should be duly noted.
Me, sitting on the floor with Zora! Nothing like a calm #dog. #dogsofinstagram
I’m working on staying in the moment. No small feat for a card carrying member of the #anxiety society. (What an annoying club to belong to 🤨).
Anyway, this is me and my piece of peace parked on the floor watching NYPD Blue.
Your #brain prioritizes problems. After all, if a dog is chasing you you don’t worry about anything but that. It’s how our limbic system keeps us safe.
The problem with people like me is we never see past the problems and if there aren’t any pressing ones we start worrying about those that aren’t until we turn one into the catastrophe of the month.
Troubles tend to be finite. Worry, by nature, is infinite. There is no end to the permutations of any problems you might have. So what I usually end up doing is worrying about 20 things that don’t happen and in so doing missed the issue that actually I ended up having … not to mention the moments of merriment I missed trying to solve problems I don’t have.
But Zora and I are going to do our best to progress past this mess.
#worry: false prophet of doom. I rebuke you.
And not for nothing, #dennisfranz is my favorite leading man of all time.
Just saying.
#Cool: there’s nothing quite like it.
#Unbothered: that’s the goal.
He could have gone a whole lot of ways with this one. But he chose to walk off the fright while counting his blessings. Did you see the pep in his step? If it had been me, I would have run around in circles panicked for a good minute or two.
He had every right in the world to carry on. He really could have been hurt. Instead, he chose to feel good about the bullet he dodged. And kept it moving.
People SHOULD act right. People SHOULD treat each other well. We SHOULD all be cautious and drive correctly. We SHOULD not offend others. We SHOULD be kind and forgiving.
But you and I both know we all fall short of all good SHOULDS because we’re all human.
You can languish in the horror of it all. Or not.
What a wonderful choice to have.
If you’re not saving or solving, sit it down. You can work the problem. You can address an issue but don’t just soak in the dark waters of unpleasantness without trying to swim to the shore. You flail about you wear yourself out and THAT’S when you drown.
#emotionalintelligence
Shoutout @ppv_tahoe @king.tahoe
It took her five minutes to fall.
Shoutout @clubb_az
I was raised by parents who always told the unvarnished truth.
One of my mom’s favorite sayings was “a lie won’t help.” So she would tell me exactly where I went left so I’d learn from whatever it was.
There is something wrong with all of us. All of us. You can close your eyes to it if you want to but I guarantee you the rest of the world will not join you there in the dark of your denial. It’ll put a spot light on that sucker and broadcast it to the world.
My thing is I want to know what my issues are before the rest of the world gets the news. There is no mistake more avoidable than being blindsided by your own weak.
That’s why I keep mine front and center. Deeper still, every once in a while I’ll just smack her by doing something she won’t like but that I know is in my best interest.
Just this morning I signed up for a writing group. I don’t want to do that. But I need to force socialization. The least of me will keep the best of me in the bed if I don’t fight her. So, my dukes are up and I’m punching way out of this silo of solitude I’ve sunk into.
So what piece of you do you want to pummel? You don’t have to tell anyone else but I want to make sure you know. We can fight these people together if we know exactly who they are.
Relevant #Tolerism:
Don’t just focus on putting your best foot forward. Also keep an eye on the one dragging behind because that’s the one that will trip you up if you have to break out into a run.
#emotionalintelligence
This is exactly how I feel.
I don’t know who she is.
I don’t know what went wrong
I don’t know who she’s looking to hit.
Nevertheless she embodies my current #mood.
I take that back. She embodies the mood I want. Not quite there yet.
Shoutout @dr1llworld
Here is a list of all the major appliances that have bit the dust at my house this year:
Hot water heater popped took out the corner of the garage.
Ceiling leak.
Washer and dryer broke.
Bed broke
TV broke
Handles fell off doors and sinks
Irrigation went on the fritz.
(I don’t want to even tell you how often the plumbers have been out here)
Now this morning I woke up and there’s no heat in the house.
I think BigE is messing with me from beyond. He’s either having a good laugh, making sure I miss him or showing me that I can handle whatever comes up even if it’s the stuff he used to do.
Possibly all three.
I’m not going to do what I did last week (when the washing machine broke)
I’m not gonna say ‘what now’ or ‘give me a break.’
I’m going to look at it as a message from him with good intent. Whether or not it’s true is irrelevant. It’s how I’m going to use these things to make me feel better.
I’m gonna be THIS dude today. No, you won’t see me grinning and line dancing but I’ll be smiling and enjoying Whatever as long as Whatever doesn’t get too ridiculous.
Cause you and I both know that Whatever does not know how to act.
Never did.
Shoutout @keepcalm.stayhealthy
#mood: pick one. #emotionalintelligence #emotion
I love this video for a multitude of reasons:
A) Small Crowd. Big Energy. My dude gave a performance like he was at a sold out stadium. If you’re gonna go. Go.
B) It contains a rainbow of #humanity. Everybody enjoying themselves.
C) You know, we all have different abilities. Use yours as best you can. Then don’t sweat it. And not for nothing, extend that grace to others. Just because it’s something I would not do does not mean I cannot appreciate the doing of it.
Enjoy yourselves.
Enjoy others.
Have a good day.
… it is so ordered.
#emotions #emotionalintelligence #peace #cool
Shoutout @drunkpeopledoingthings
You can #worry about how it looks or you can enjoy it for what it is.
I say we all pick the latter today. I say we all look for something that can just make us smile and engage in it.
I have trouble with that. If I’m not solving I feel like I’m goofing off.
Which, in turn, leads to endless #worry because I will try to solve problems I don’t know I have just in case they crop up. Such a waste!
Anxiety, you are a false prophet of doom.
A thief… stealing hours and peace.
I rebuke you.
Shoutout @churchoflaugh
#anxiety #peace
That’s what I want. Next level cool.
#cool is the best thing ever. It acknowledges what is but doesn’t allow you to get all apoplectic about it.
It neither condones nor condemns. It considers and moves on.
Life is easier when you’re cool. I should know I had no chill for four and a half decades. Just popping off and getting upset by everything is tiring.
I like cool better. It allows you to see the problem before it sees you. #Fear makes you reactionary. It doesn’t let you think. Cool keeps you conscious and in the game. It heightens your powers of observation.
I wish you all the cool you can find.
I hope 2024 is cool. Lawd, do I! #emotionalintelligence
Shoutout @jesusintrovert
Did she air that out or what? And the evasive move! Shook that young chick off like it was nothing.
I’m always happy to see older women handling their business.
You have to root for own kind, you know.
I don’t mind getting older. It feels like an ongoing legitimization process. I know more. I spook less. I worry still, but not as outrageously.
I’m downright sanguine about some stuff that used to send me into apoplexy.
Still can’t claim chill but I’m leaning harder in that direction.
I’m always working on my weak. The last thing I want to be is the biggest problem that I’ve got.
Shoutout @angel112681 for bringing this to my attention!
Shoutout @flyageless
#old chicks. #boomer
Good morning!
Humanity is fascinating. We can build pyramids, the internet and self driving cars but we never seem able to outgrown our inner two year old when things get dicey.
Everybody’s cool until they’re uncomfortable. Then our lizard-left over limbic system reads what’s going on all wrong and next thing you know we’re asking people we don’t know “Do you know who I am?”
Apparently, dude here knew and did not care. So my man had to consider some new options. He stopped asking that question though!
Then, the universe puts its two cents in. Sometimes it just can’t resist an opportunity to put an exclamation point on your stupid.
Last, but by no means least, culturally, you can always count on my people for some great color commentary.
Live loudly but with a sense of purpose. Put your shirt on and go to work.
Some things ain’t that deep. Just because you can work up a cry about it on TikTok …
Ok, my cranky #boomer behind is done.
Relevant #Tolerism:
#Feelings are fleeting.
Felonies are forever.
#emotions #emotionalintelligence #funny #fall #ego #error
Shoutout @allfails @dosheboost @clips
Personally I know that I am cat number one but I’m trying to become cat two.
One who can get entertained by the mundane has greater access to happy.
Mundane is, by definition, everywhere.
Wouldn’t it be great if every mundane task you did had some element of #joy in it? The problem is, of course, how do you do it.
You do it like this cat. Put a little something extra on it. It doesn’t have to be IG worthy either.
Just some one dumb thing you like.
My current efforts involved using a blowdryer to on the dust bunnies under the bed while listening to to George Benson’s Breezin’
The George Benson part was good but the blowdryer thing was both ineffective and ill advised.
Live and learn.
#cats #catsofinstagram
Shoutout @hellodutch
