is the story of some of the most difficult experiences of my life. But it is equally a celebration of unconditional self-love. It is a rallying cry for body liberation and an indictment of fatphobia in all its forms. I wrote it in hopes it will empower others to share their stories and to know they are not alone. If you think this could help someone you know, please share it. Stories and images like this saved my life. #nowiknow #mentalhealthawareness #allbodiesaregoodbodies #nobodyshame #bodyacceptance #beautybeyondsize #effyourbeautystandards #bodypositivity #bodykindness #dietculturedropout #riotsnotdiets #bodyliberation #bodyconfience #youarebeautiful #selflove . . . Lyrics by me Music by @outsmartin Director @shihanfey EP @wethewomencollective @samressler @natnatlove Producers @glamorousreptile @annaemack Line Producer @csturam Music Producer @nikihexum DP @bellagonzalesdp PD @chickenfriedweiss AD @lexikirsch @ttashh Art @_alexfowler Editor/Color @davyintl Gaffer @jasperkhadjenouri Camera Asst @torinb Key Grip @gaitherpilosnarron Hair @kattthompson Makeup @baldeelockss Stylist @themarcyminute PA @zekatek Location @thelotstudios
“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”
“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”
“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”
“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”
“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”
Raw footage • I spent a lot of time looking into mirrors while filming Now I Know. It was a beautifully complicated experience – empowering and scary, freeing and triggering, silly and serious. Being seen by others is one thing, but being truly seen by yourself… that’s where the healing starts. Try it. . . . #allbodiesaregoodbodies #nobodyshame #effyourbeautystandards #bodyacceptance #bodykindness #memyselfandportrait #loveyourselfmore #youarebeautiful #selfgrowth
For so long, sharing my struggle with eating disorders was out of the question. I feared that exposing my vulnerabilities made me weak. I didn’t believe my story had value, that no one would care or want to hear it. And what’s more, I didn’t know how to tell it. Sharing my truth felt, well… dangerous. But the truth is, keeping my story hidden is far more dangerous. Hiding threatens my mental health and prevents me from taking ownership of my life. Hiding endangers people who struggle with the same issues and feel unseen and unheard. Hiding allows harmful systems to thrive, systems that have driven countless individuals to engage in self harm and endanger their lives. On this World Eating Disorders Action Day, I hope that you feel empowered to share your story, to tell your truth, to ASK FOR HELP. I wouldn’t have had the strength if other people before me hadn’t done it. @ddlovato @i_weigh @jameelajamilofficial @tessholliday @remibader @allianceforeda @edcoalition #Equity4EatingDisorders #eatingdisorderawareness #mentalhealthsupport Link to the full video for “Now I Know” in my bio.
Today is my birthday. And I dedicate this year to her. This 13-year-old, curly-headed, hair-gel-addicted, catholic-school-going 8th grader. On the outside, defensive and confident, the leader of the group, always quick to make her friends laugh and put on a show for them. On the inside, desperately trying to love herself, desperately wishing for the love of others. Looking everywhere for a sign, some indication, that she was in fact lovable. I wish I could tell her that in 20 years time she would love herself more than she thought possible. I wish I could tell her that she would be loved more fiercely and more fully than she had ever dreamed. I’d give her a diffuser and some curl cream and send her on her beautiful, vibrant, talented, intelligent, generous, oh-so-lovable way.
How I feel watching complex, nuanced fat characters navigate life on screen. @shrillhulu season 3 has me like 🥳🤩🤯😎 We need more Shrill and we need more shows like Shrill.
Lockdown Life Update: 👨🏻 I met a boy ❤️ We fell in love 🏠 We moved in together ⛺️ He took me camping 🚙 We built a car camper 🎥 We made a TikTok We did good, @zekatek #carcamping #quarantinelove
A reading from my 12 year-old journal: “I wish I could be skinny. It’s not fair. All the other girls are. There’s something wrong with me I think. I’m really upset about it. I miss out on a lot because of my weight. But I believe that God made everyone different sizes because of their destiny in life. Maybe there’s something I can do to help others with my size. It is a little embarrassing though, but I believe it can happen.” You were right, little Mel. There is something we can do. Also, the purple gel pen you used for this entry is really cool 😎 Thank you to every person who helped make Now I Know happen. @wethewomencollective @shihanfey @outsmartin @themarcyminute @csturam @nikihexum @bellagonzalesdp @baldeelockss @kattthompson @lexikirsch @chickenfriedweiss @torinb @jasperkhadjenouri @gaitherpilosnarron @davyintl #beautybeyondsize #effyourbeautystandards #selfgrowthjourney #nobodyshame #findyourpurpose
I don’t have the words, so I’ll use his. It was he after all who made me fall in love with language. It was he who taught me how to love, to grieve. It was he who put words to my yearning, my hope, my despair, my joy. For every chapter of my life there is a song (or 5) of his that make up the soundtrack. When my grandfather died, I wept in my car with “No One Is Alone” on repeat. When I fell in love for the first time, “So Many People” became our anthem. The list goes on. Singing his words and his melodies has been the honor and delight of my life. No matter how many times I listen, no matter how many times I sing, I am still surprised by his genius. He keeps me on my toes. He reminds me that the road less taken is often the more interesting one. I can say with certainty that I would not be the human being I am today without him. His music is part of my DNA. Thank you, Stephen Sondheim. Goodbye for now. You will always be with me.
Remember a while ago when I posted about filming my own music video?! Well it’s premiering TOMORROW!! 5 year old me is freaking out. Stay tuned!
doesn’t feel so far away anymore. #bidenharris2020 #blacklivesmatter
baby’s first screening in LA 🥹 join us for our second in NYC at the Iron Mule Comedy Festival this Monday!
baby’s first screening in LA 🥹 join us for our second in NYC at the Iron Mule Comedy Festival this Monday!
baby’s first screening in LA 🥹 join us for our second in NYC at the Iron Mule Comedy Festival this Monday!
Now I Know received official selections and Best Music Video award winner at Apex Film Festival! Getting this news was such a nice surprise! Thanks to the best crew who pulled this off during COVID and to everyone who supported us. Lyrics by me Music by @outsmartin Director @shihanfey EP @wethewomencollective Line Producer @csturam Music Producer @nikihexum DP @bellagonzalesdp PD @chickenfriedweiss Editor/Colorist @davyintl Hair @kattthompson Makeup @baldeelockss Stylist @themarcyminute
guys we have 3 selects omg, stay tuned for screenings 😗
our fourth selection is here! Los Angeles Short Film Festival we r coming for u in April 😉 special thanks to Iron Mule Fest for a great NYC screening, not to brag but we did take home the Audience Award!
