God willing, I’ll have 13 years of sobriety on March 23rd. To mark this special occasion, I’m hosting a virtual writing party for anyone who wants to reflect on whatever it is they’re building to or recovering from. I’ll provide some prompts but the topic is OPEN. 📅 Date: March 23rd 🕒 Time: 3:00 PM CST ⏰ Duration: Approximately 2 hours (or until the ink runs out!) Bring your favorite writing tools and a celebratory snack or bev, connect with fellow writers, and celebrate recovery, whatever that means to you. You can register off the link on the front page of my website anamariecox.com! #SobrietyCelebration #WritingParty #CreativeCommunity #InkSpiration #CelebrateRecovery #WritingJourney #SoberLife #WriterCommunity #SoberAnniversary #WritersUnite #RecoveryWins #Wordsmiths #SoberAndCreative #InkAndInspire #soberliving #literarycommunity
I try not to feel too bad about this — it’s a family disease, after all. But, it’s true, I have raised a large adult son of an alcoholic. Exley can’t come with me to meetings, but I’ve filled our home with recovery literature (that, uh, he can’t read, BUT… VIBES) and we often meditate and pray together. Molly and Bram have somehow escaped this fate (they’re frighteningly well-actualized) perhaps because they were not raised by *two* alcoholics? Or, you know, cats. Less prone to co-dependency. If you wonder about being an ACA, check out the “Laundry List” (Google it!). ACA has been an incredible program for my recovery. Exley will need someone to listen to his Fifth Step and it can’t be me, so maybe if one of you starts now… (Got this idea from following @confidentmutts)
What’s the celebrity couple name here? “Exam” won’t work… Exram? Bramley?
What’s the celebrity couple name here? “Exam” won’t work… Exram? Bramley?
It was going to happen at some point.
I decided to take advantage of a rare face of make-up and decent hair to remind you all that I’m doing another session of my Third Story Workshop next month! It starts on 4/23 and is 25% off of $1500 if you sign up in the next three weeks. Find out more at anamariecox.com/thirdstory AND ALSO: Join me for my 13th sobriety anniversary writing party on 3/23! You can register off the front page of my site (the same general location: anamariecox.com). #SoberLife #RecoveryJourney #WritingForRecovery #SobrietyMilestone #CelebrateSobriety #VirtualEvent #WritingTogether #SupportAndInspire #WritingJourney #CraftOfWriting #WritingTips #StoryCrafting #WritersOfTwitter #WritingInspiration
I’ve been doing a series of essays over at the buymeacoffee.com/anaamariecox site using the 12 steps as a kind of prompt. I’ve been wanting to write these for awhile, in part because they exemplify what my recovery workshop is about: Finding and claiming the arc of your journey. I finally started writing them this month because, God willing, I’ll celebrate 13 years sober on March 23. This is a look back and, in doing the writing itself, a look forward to the ways that I want to show other how to dive into the work I’ve been doing. I’ve you’re interested in the workshop, slots are now available for the April-June session! Check out anamariecox.com/thirdstory
Brothers from another mother
This is what my to-do list looked like in 2018. I feel such sorrow for this version of me, constantly pushing harder and inventing new ways to judge her progress and success (because if she succeed, then the goals were too easy). And I had been doing this to myself for decades. No wonder my gears ground to a halt completely in 2022. No wonder it has taken me two years to begin to recover. Take it easy on yourself today. If you don’t succeed at something, make the goal easier to achieve. If you succeed, take the win. Even better: think of terms of a journey and not a contest. And always rest *before* you need to. If you wait until everything breaks down, you will have to heal longer and more painfully than if you had been gentle with yourself all along.
Spoons
Love this little guy so much.
Latest piece up at CNN.com! To the justices seated before him, he cited the Dobbs v. Jackson majority decision’s statement that “women are not without electoral and political power,” and Biden told them, “…and you’re about to realize how much they have.” He then followed by saying, “No kidding,” and warned that Republicans “have no clue about the power of women.” The warning isn’t wrong, but it betrays a fundamental misunderstanding of the connection between reproductive care and political power. Opponents of abortion access know exactly how much power women have — which is why they want to take abortion access away.
Latest op-ed is up at CNN! It’s about the new Stormy Daniels doc. Produced by Erin Lee Carter and Judd Apatow, it’s surprisingly intimate and powerful. I had thoughts! — Stormy Daniels is the kind of woman who should scare former President Donald Trump the most: a woman who’s frightened but willing to tell the truth anyway. To admit that you’ve been taken advantage of and to be clear that your safety and personhood were violated can itself be empowering. In the documentary, Daniels talks about how she now understands her compliance to Trump “humping away” at her as being a product of her Southern upbringing. “I was taught to respect and obey … elders” (a term that would surely and satisfyingly infuriate Trump).
I’ve started a kind of pop-up podcast for the month of March over on @petedominck’s feed. It’s about recovery very broadly defined — recovery from addiction, living with chronic illness, dealing with mental illness, social justice, the whole shebang, because all of these things are related. This week is a conversation with author Oliver Broudy, whose book about environmental illness (“The Sensitives”) anticipated a lot of our conversation about long Covid. We also cover addiction, isolation, and labor rights! Check it out at https://standupwithpete.libsyn.com/supd-presents-ana-marie-cox-getting-better-with-guest-journalist-and-author-oliver-broudy If you like this content, consider support me over at buymeacoffee.com/anamariecox and I can do more of it. (Maybe even start my own pod.) You can also consider taking my recovery writing workshop! (anamariecox.com/thirdstory). There are many ways to help me continue doing this kind of work; please help me avoid adding a newsletter to the list!
Latest essay in my series on recovery using the Twelve Steps as prompts is up. It’s Step Five and it’s a banger. If you’re interested in writing your own recovery memoir — recovery from anything, from illness to disordered eating to job loss — I teach a workshop about just that. More here: www.anamariecox.com/thirdstory If you’d like to read the whole essay or support me in writing more, visit buymeacoffee.com/anamariecox (posts are at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/anamariecox/posts) —- I’ve heard more Fifth Steps than I’ve said; people have confessed truly awful things – criminal activity, boundary-crossing, violence – yet I’ve never thought, “I could never do that.” I’ve done some truly awful things myself. I know that under the influence, I’m capable of worse. However, the high others describe upon completing their Fifth Step has escaped me. I’ve felt incremental relief, let’s say. But shame has never left me; it has shriveled up around the edges. The shame covered me less completely and more unevenly, like someone with an inexpert bang trim. When I hear someone else’s list of wrongs, I simply try to love them through it. “We love you until you learn to love yourself.” I have said that a million times. I have heard it a million more. I have believed it. Where was that inexhaustible reservoir of love when it came to me? Now, I wonder: What if I stopped trying to forgive myself and focused on loving myself instead? What terrifying miracles might occur? #FifthStepJourney #RecoveryReflections #SelfLoveQuest #AACommunity #VulnerabilityMatters #SobrietyInsights #InnerHealing #SheddingShame #ACAThoughts #UnconditionalLove #FacingWrongsWithCourage #PersonalGrowthJourney #BeyondForgiveness #HealingFromWithin #MiraclesOfSelfLove #TwelveYearsSober #AuthenticityInRecovery #EmbracingImperfection #InnerStrengthStories #TriumphOverSelfLoathing #cptsd #innerchild #aa #adultchildren #spiritualjourney #spiritualgrowth #selflove #selfcare #healingshame
Latest essay in my series on recovery using the Twelve Steps as prompts is up. It’s Step Five and it’s a banger. If you’re interested in writing your own recovery memoir — recovery from anything, from illness to disordered eating to job loss — I teach a workshop about just that. More here: www.anamariecox.com/thirdstory If you’d like to read the whole essay or support me in writing more, visit buymeacoffee.com/anamariecox (posts are at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/anamariecox/posts) —- I’ve heard more Fifth Steps than I’ve said; people have confessed truly awful things – criminal activity, boundary-crossing, violence – yet I’ve never thought, “I could never do that.” I’ve done some truly awful things myself. I know that under the influence, I’m capable of worse. However, the high others describe upon completing their Fifth Step has escaped me. I’ve felt incremental relief, let’s say. But shame has never left me; it has shriveled up around the edges. The shame covered me less completely and more unevenly, like someone with an inexpert bang trim. When I hear someone else’s list of wrongs, I simply try to love them through it. “We love you until you learn to love yourself.” I have said that a million times. I have heard it a million more. I have believed it. Where was that inexhaustible reservoir of love when it came to me? Now, I wonder: What if I stopped trying to forgive myself and focused on loving myself instead? What terrifying miracles might occur? #FifthStepJourney #RecoveryReflections #SelfLoveQuest #AACommunity #VulnerabilityMatters #SobrietyInsights #InnerHealing #SheddingShame #ACAThoughts #UnconditionalLove #FacingWrongsWithCourage #PersonalGrowthJourney #BeyondForgiveness #HealingFromWithin #MiraclesOfSelfLove #TwelveYearsSober #AuthenticityInRecovery #EmbracingImperfection #InnerStrengthStories #TriumphOverSelfLoathing #cptsd #innerchild #aa #adultchildren #spiritualjourney #spiritualgrowth #selflove #selfcare #healingshame
Wrote about the scary logic and tactics that undergird the Alabama IVF ruling over at TNR.com. Link in bio. The Alabama Supreme Court’s ruling that frozen embryos are human beings under state law staked out a new ideological claim that threatens the future of in vitro fertilization, or IVF, treatments. This is tragic. What it reminds us about the right’s plans for our future is horrifying. But their trajectory is locked in, as are the means by which they plan on accomplishing their goals: They will continue to pursue policies that few Americans support because their vision is an America in which people who don’t agree with them just don’t get to vote.
Once again, I am asking you to celebrate your recovery and mine! My sobriety birthday is 3/23 and I’d love you to join me for a FREE Zoom writing party — by which I mean an hour or so of quiet reflection. (My kind of party 😉 ) Link in bio, or register via the link on my homepage anamariecox.com #recovery #sobriety #soberlife #celebraterecovery #writersofinstagram #creativewriting #traumarecovery #writingcommunity
The latest in my series of short essays on the 12 steps (NOT A NEWSLETTER) is up at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/anamariecox/step-three-not-me. You can get posts via email for a one-time donation or just visit regularly; it is Not a Newsletter. I’ve been writing just to experiment with writing and I have a vague plan for doing something even more intense for March — I’ll have 13 years on March 23, God willing and the last three have been, uhm, particularly challenging! They seem worth celebrating with a special urgency. If you enjoy the essays and want to write your own recovery story, consider joining my Third Story Workshop. The next session is in April, and you can find out more at anamariecox.com/thirdstory. — My mom was excited to visit the “butt hut,” the weathered gazebo in the back of the women’s dorm where smoking was allowed. We sat on the picnic table, grooved with a thousand hieroglyphics, as holy as an ark. She bummed a cigarette from one of the other patients. She smoked occasionally my whole life, never finishing a pack in anything shorter than a week. Usually, she only smoked when she drank, but today, she was coherent, solid, dry. Instinctively, I’d inhaled deeply when we hugged: no sharpness of vodka, no tang of wine. Just Elizabeth Arden’s Red Door. “Aren’t the men here good-looking?” she asked me, eying their dorm on the other side of the campus. “They were when I was here.” I thought of the heroin addict I had a crush on. “Some of them, sure.”
Second column this week on Republicans’ response to the Alabama ruling, because it can’t be said enough: Do not equate some GOP elected officials’ backpeddling on IVF as some kind of softening on their anti-choice stance. Elevating the embryo to “personhood” has put them in this legal bind and the far right is *find with it.* GOP politicians will have to cave to extremists, and they will. If you like my writing and want to make my career as freelance opinion-writing more sustainable, you can always buy me a coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/anamariecox. A one-time donation also gets you a weekly essay about recovery *emailed to your inbox.* (NOT A NEWSLETTER.) — , Exhortations by some Republicans to “safeguard” IVF even as they proclaim themselves anti-abortion aren’t calibrations to a hypothetical middle ground. They are, at best, banal confessions of self-interest and lack of self-awareness. Like similarly hypocritical carveouts for rape and incest in abortion bans, the existence of conservatives who want to be pro-IVF and anti-abortion only shows how much the anti-abortion movement depends on people ignoring the consequences of its policies.
Nikki Haley could have been the champion of Trumpism-without-Trump but SCOTUS shot her down more effectively than Trump ever could. My latest is up at TNR.com —- Haley’s ceiling was carved, at least in part, by her race and gender. Neither primary candidate really treated Trump’s many crimes the way a Republican of yesteryear would have: as opposition research. Haley might have done herself a favor if she’d made her hidden play more explicit, raising the specter of a down-by-law Trump in the months before the Supreme Court handed him a Trump-branded set of “get out of jail free” cards.
I’ve started a blog over at buymeacoffee.com, specifically at buymeacoffee.com/anamariecox — it’s in lieu of a newsletter at this point, though I am considering relenting to the awful pressure of the Newsletter Industrial Complex. My current plan is a weekly series of essays about the steps; last week was Step Two (“Came to believe a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity”). For a one-time donation, you can receive posts via email AS THOUGH they were newsletters! Monthly memberships with access to exclusive posts are also available. If you’re enjoying the posts and interested in writing your own memoir essay, consider taking my memoir workshop—the next session starts in April! How far away had my marbles rolled? At some point – Before intubation? After? – a nurse asked me who the president was. (Yes, they ask that.) I knew I knew the answer; I’m a political reporter! “Obama” was right there, a blinking neon sign in my brain. And what did I say? “Skillet.” Maybe something else. What I remember is “skillet.”
Now up at my experiment in recovery blogging: Step Four and how sometimes being fearless means loving yourself *more.* IT IS NOT A NEWSLETTER but you can read all the posts and support me in one way or another at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/anamariecox/posts —- Sipping my coffee, believing myself ready to show this masterpiece of self-flagellation to my counselor, I realized I was proud of recounting of what a piece of shit I was. I thought of something we heard from the counselors a lot: “Pay attention to what you’re resisting. Pay attention to the places you’re just doing what you’ve always done.” I had listed my faults with terrible ease. Writing my Fourth Step hadn’t scared me. It had not required me to be searching and fearless. The answers had been at the ready. Obsessing over all the pain I’d caused and the stupid acts I’d performed is what had propelled that bottle of Xanax over my lips a few weeks before.
Big news: tomorrow marks my 13th year of continuous sobriety, and I’m throwing a “writing party” to celebrate! Consider this your official invitation. Join a laid-back gathering where we’ll dive into some group journaling with memoir prompts and plenty of positive energy. **Event: Celebrate Lucky 13** **Date: 3/23 (Saturday)** **Time: 3pm CT** **Location: Online via Zoom** **Registration Link:** https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/89310768348 (I am very aware that I’m promoting this kind of non-stop. Apologies for all the intrusions onto your feed.)
