Catherine, Princess of Wales has taken the brave step to share what is an incredibly personal message with the world. I share the great shock many of us I imagine felt as she revealed the news that she is undergoing chemotherapy following the major abdominal surgery she underwent in January. I am using this picture of her, taken by @chrisjacksongetty as it captures the essence of a woman I hugely admire and have had the privilege to work alongside. She is strong, compassionate, intelligent and as beautiful inside as she is in person. To know first-hand how gracious, and how kind she is – and how she puts everyone else first, not least her children – leads to great sorrow that she has had to endure the level of intrusion into her well-being and health while trying to remain strong for herself and her family. I am sure I join everyone tonight in wishing her and her family our love and wishes that she may now be left to a peaceful and private recovery. @princeandprincessofwales @earlychildhood #princess #princessofwales #kate
Did you learn to regulate your emotions as a child? Broadcaster turned child therapist @KateSilverton says our ability to regulate our emotions has been found to be the best indicator of future happiness. In this chat with Fearne, Kate definitively explains why it’s never too late to change your relationship with your kids regardless of how much you think you’ve already messed up. Kate talks through why it’s not about changing our children, it’s about changing their environment. Similarly, it’s not that you’re bad at parenting, it’s that you’re being expected to parent while under often more stress and with less community support. Fearne and Kate also chat about why all of these conversations are relevant even if you’re not a parent, because all these things – soothing anxiety, acknowledging emotions, cultivating resilience – also relate to our relationships with our own parents, and ourselves… Plus, Kate gives her take on how best to help children with neurodiversity, and how screens are really affecting our brains. Available to watch now wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube 🫶 Kate’s book, There’s Still No Such Thing As Naughty, is out on the March 28th.
What will your ‘second act’ entail? If you are having second thoughts about your career or are ready for a change … training to become a children’s counsellor or psychotherapist is something I can whole-heartedly recommend … I trained with @_place2be and @traumainformedschoolsuk and @instituteforarts all of whom I can commend highly Check out their websites, see where you feel ‘called’ and many will hold ‘taster’ days for you to ‘try before you commit’ Leave me a message if you are thinking of making the change, what might be stopping you, and what other areas of life bring you joy. Life is too short not to be doing something you love .. follow your heart and you won’t go far wrong POLL: Are you ready for a career change ?
Best selling Broadcaster and child therapist Kate Silverton explains the butterfly hug 🦋 #virginradiouk #chrisevansbreakfastshow #katesilverton #butterflyhug
On the issue of #screentimealternatives – thank you @thejuggleuk for publishing an extract of my book ‘there’s still no such thing as naughty’ following their post below .. ‘As adults, we’re slowly waking up to the negative impact screens have on our lives. So why is the amount of time our children are spending on screens increasing? In her new book, There’s Still No Such Thing As Naughty: Parenting In The Primary Years, @katesilverton explores exactly what screentime is doing to our children’s brains and behaviour. Tap the link in my bio to read an exclusive extract’.
Just a quick thank you to @happyplaceofficial @fearnecotton and to you, for your questions and thoughts following today’s podcast. Having retrained as a children’s counsellor as well as having two young children myself I consider this as my life’s work – to use my journalism to share the science that helps us to better understand our children – and indeed ourselves. I’ll post this week about ANGER and RAGE and how we can help our children to learn how to express these big emotions safely – as much as helping us to learn how to better regulate ourselves. It’s a topic that has clearly resonates, along with all else that Fearne and I discussed too. Please leave comments if you have listened to the podcast and any thoughts / questions you wish to share. The book is published on the 28th March – I cannot wait ! #parenting #parentingtips #mentalhealth #family
By the 1990s the mood had hardened again as a reaction against unruly progressive schools. Gina Ford became a household name for imposing strict schedules on babies, and Jo Frost, aka Supernanny, became a television star for wearing dominatrix black leather gloves and threatening time-outs. Asimilar spirit currently pervades a network of mainly urban state schools that enforce quiet compliance from students through techniques like isolation rooms and restricted playtime. Most famous among them is Michaela Community School in Wembley, London, both academically outstanding and “the strictest school in Britain”, led by Katharine Birbalsingh, who posted on social media that children had “original sin”. What about isolation periods? “There is absolutely no need for these shaming, suppressing policies,” Silverton says. “I’m thinking about schools now. We have really lost our way when we think this is how to treat children. Seriously.” 🔗Click the link in the bio to read the full interview
By the 1990s the mood had hardened again as a reaction against unruly progressive schools. Gina Ford became a household name for imposing strict schedules on babies, and Jo Frost, aka Supernanny, became a television star for wearing dominatrix black leather gloves and threatening time-outs. Asimilar spirit currently pervades a network of mainly urban state schools that enforce quiet compliance from students through techniques like isolation rooms and restricted playtime. Most famous among them is Michaela Community School in Wembley, London, both academically outstanding and “the strictest school in Britain”, led by Katharine Birbalsingh, who posted on social media that children had “original sin”. What about isolation periods? “There is absolutely no need for these shaming, suppressing policies,” Silverton says. “I’m thinking about schools now. We have really lost our way when we think this is how to treat children. Seriously.” 🔗Click the link in the bio to read the full interview
By the 1990s the mood had hardened again as a reaction against unruly progressive schools. Gina Ford became a household name for imposing strict schedules on babies, and Jo Frost, aka Supernanny, became a television star for wearing dominatrix black leather gloves and threatening time-outs. Asimilar spirit currently pervades a network of mainly urban state schools that enforce quiet compliance from students through techniques like isolation rooms and restricted playtime. Most famous among them is Michaela Community School in Wembley, London, both academically outstanding and “the strictest school in Britain”, led by Katharine Birbalsingh, who posted on social media that children had “original sin”. What about isolation periods? “There is absolutely no need for these shaming, suppressing policies,” Silverton says. “I’m thinking about schools now. We have really lost our way when we think this is how to treat children. Seriously.” 🔗Click the link in the bio to read the full interview
By the 1990s the mood had hardened again as a reaction against unruly progressive schools. Gina Ford became a household name for imposing strict schedules on babies, and Jo Frost, aka Supernanny, became a television star for wearing dominatrix black leather gloves and threatening time-outs. Asimilar spirit currently pervades a network of mainly urban state schools that enforce quiet compliance from students through techniques like isolation rooms and restricted playtime. Most famous among them is Michaela Community School in Wembley, London, both academically outstanding and “the strictest school in Britain”, led by Katharine Birbalsingh, who posted on social media that children had “original sin”. What about isolation periods? “There is absolutely no need for these shaming, suppressing policies,” Silverton says. “I’m thinking about schools now. We have really lost our way when we think this is how to treat children. Seriously.” 🔗Click the link in the bio to read the full interview
With the news agenda focused on behaviour in schools the podcast I recorded with @avantulleken and Dr. Rochelle Burgess @uclpophealthsc @ioelondon is very timely. We dissected the challenges faced by schools and parents in supporting children’s mental health and the innovative ways to foster well-being through nature and the arts. I spoke about the variability of mental health support in schools and the critical need for standardised, professionally trained mental health professionals on-site. Plus, the importance of understanding the neuroscience behind children’s behaviour I shared some of the practical, science-backed strategies found in my new book, There’s Still No Such Thing as Naughty too. You can listen to the full podcast now through the link in my story #parenting #parentingtips #education #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth Love to hear your thoughts in the comments – and experiences you may wish to share about schools, behaviour policies and how much time your children are currently spending outside in play / learning / connection
A whirlwind of a few days culminated this morning with an interview @skynews with the wonderful Anna Jones, a former BBC colleague, and what a joy to see her and discuss ‘there’s still no such thing as naughty’ and my change of career from broadcaster to child therapist. Thank you for all your messages and words of support … especially my card and flowers from my gorgeous friend @dipika.j.a Together we can advocate for our children and, I believe, together we can effect positive change when it comes to influencing more evidence-based polices that will better support our children – their happiness and future mental health. The book links are in my bio and I’ll be back on here after the bank holiday with more reels with information and science made accessible to support you in your parenting and your happiness and health too ♥️ #mentalhealth #childrensemotions
So… today was quite the ride ! After almost three years of being cooped up in a tiny brick shed, surrounded by research papers, numerous books, boosted by coffee and chocolate … while mummying my smalls and volunteering in schools to work clinically with young children in need, I managed, by some feat, to produce ‘there’s still no such thing as naughty’ – my second book on parenting, and tonight an Amazon number one bestseller – thanks to you 💪🏼🙏🏼 and to @thismorning @virginradiouk for the support Thank you too for sharing in the excitement and for investing in my work. I hope you find what I have written a comfort and support. I’ve written this book for parents, like me, who simply want to ‘do our best’ and to understand our children and keep our cool, even when our children are not keeping theirs ! It becomes so much easier when science shows us the way. It supports what our ancestors instinctively knew .. that our children are deeply feeling creatures – and, if we are to understand them we must become more deeply feeling creatures too. When we understand that the heart of our experience is driven by our nervous system – all behaviour begins to make sense. Parenting becomes simpler – although still not easy ! In community however, we can come through. I am so grateful to friends like @dipika.j.a who even last night scooped us up after journeying to London, with a gorgeous supper and catch up while the kids played, to @peneloperyanbeauty for getting up at the crack of dawn to get me ‘camera ready’, ( and doing an incredible job 😅) to my publisher @lagombooks and my editor @michellesignore snd the entire team @bonnierbooks_uk alongside my wonderful agents @bev_james @tomtomwright @lizpeacock_ and the entire team @bevjamesmanagement and to everyone who has been on the journey alongside. I have changed my career to advocate for children and to support parents as we navigate the toughest job of all, to help make life more magical, and bring more harmony to our homes … thank you for all your messages and photos of the book as it arrives .. I look forward to the days and weeks ahead with much more to come ♥️ #parenting #parentingtips #mental #mentalhealth
Why do I say that teaching our children the ‘art’ of emotional regulation is key to their future mental health … ? Google emotional dysregulation and you will find references to a ‘mental health symptom’ that involves trouble in controlling emotions – which can lead to ‘behavioral ER strategies that are harmful, can include (but are not limited to): drinking alcohol to cope with problems, binge eating, extreme social reassurance seeking, and non-suicidal self-injuries’ Being able to regulate our emotions is a vital skill for LIFE. It enables us to experience the highs as well as the lows without ‘tipping over’ in between. We can LEARN this skill and we can teach our children too I wrote my book to explain the science behind emotional dysregulation – and all the practical tips, tools and scripts to help support our children if and when they’re ‘spinning out’ as much as it can help us when we are feeling more dysregulated too. I explain the science using my super simple parenting concept ‘the lizard, baboon and wise owl way’ It instantly explains why your brain and nervous system respond they do when you’re under duress, or if you are frightened or ‘triggered’ Understanding the science allows us to work WITH our nervous system – and flex our ‘wise owl’ ( the prefrontal cortex in reality ) to quickly bring ourselves back to balance … This is how we achieve good mental health .. And it is here that we may support our children’s good future mental health too #parenting #parentingtips #mentalhealth #neuroscience #neurobiology #katesilverton #theresstillnosuchthingasnaughty #emotionalregulation #nervoussystem
Why did I write my second book ‘there’s STILL no such thing as naughty’ out today … ? I think the years from 5-12 can be some of the most challenging; with behaviour that can be confusing, sometimes concerning, even frightening on occasion … so how can we better understand our children, and help them to use their words to tell us how they’re feeling … not resort to fists or feet instead … Today @bbcnews is covering the story of teachers being hit, spat at or worse, in school. This is NOT acceptable .. but if we are to tackle such dysregulated behaviour we must first understand the cause – and it comes from the nervous system – not naughty – understand that and we will understand everything about behaviour and help our children to better regulate their emotions and set out on a pathway to good future behaviour and mental health … we must better support teachers and empower them by sharing the science too … and, with the science we may reflect on punitive behaviour policies that shame or stigmatise children because, as I explain in my book, they may unfortunately be doing more harm than good when it comes to effecting the sort of behaviour that we want to see …
The top ten pillars I talk about in my book that support our children’s good future mental health Construction – how understanding brain development explains everything about a child’s behaviour Calm – how to quickly bring our children ( and ourselves !) back to calm Compassion – how to dig deep even when our chil is pushing every button ! Contain – how to deal with anger and big emotional outbursts Communication – how we talk to our children is ultimately how they will talk to us Contracts and crisis management – how to boundary behaviour and create all important structure in a child’s life Curiosity – ask not ‘what’s wrong with you – but ‘how can I help’ Creativity – why play is fundamental for ‘fertilising’ a child’s brain and ensuring healthy growth Community – why we need each other in our parenting Connection – how much time we spend with our children will increase the security and safety they feel and lead to more ‘secure and safe’ behaviour #parenting #parentingtips #mentalhealth
When we receive difficult news or a shocking diagnosis, our first thought is often not only for ourselves,but for our children: how we can protect them, and how best to share the news. I hope what I share here may prove helpful. 1. firstly do take time to process the shock yourself. This is important because it will allow you more capacity to ‘hold the space’ when you do eventually relay the news to your child/ren 2. Then do try to tell them as soon as you then feel able. Children pick up on our cues and if we keep them in the dark for too long their imagination can ‘run riot’ and they may tell themselves a very different ‘story’ about what they think is happening – and this can lead to unnecessary worry and fear 3. Take advice from the support networks you have – including your medical advisers, cancer charities and other organisations who can offer excellent resources to enable you to have a conversation that covers the facts of your circumstances but using age appropriate language. These resources can also help you to consider what answers you might wish to give for the questions your children will inevitably have – even and especially the difficult ones. 4.. Try to speak to siblings together if it is age appropriate to do so. Stick to the facts as much as you are able ( doctors generally advise using words like medicine in preference to chemotherapy) 5. Do not be afraid of your child’s grief. Being able to ‘hold the space’ while your children experience painful emotions gives them what we might consider the ‘gift of tears’. It will see a more healthy release than if we try to bottle up our own tears or tell them to bottle up theirs 6. Involve them in your plans as much as you can. You can sit and write up a calendar with big boxes to tick whenever there is a hospital appointment or you are having treatment. You can draw the hospital and the ‘kind people’ who will be looking after you there. You can discuss if the children will come to visit you and what toys they might want to bring I share more tips and resources in my books but you can find excellent support from organisations like @cr_uk @macmillancancer @_place2be #cancer #parenting
THIS is just one, very poignant, example of why I say ‘there’s no such thing as naughty’ Understand a child’s stress response – how they’re coping with the ‘stress’ their nervous system is under – and we will start to understand a child’s behaviour. It is then that we can best support the child @_place2be #repost This #StressAwarenessMonth, we’re sharing Joe’s* story of coping stress. 💛 . Seven-year-old Joe was struggling in school after his parents separated and he didn’t see his dad anymore. . He was easily distracted and struggled to sit through lessons. When he felt stressed he would often run out of class, hide under a table, shout at people and throw things. Joe was referred to one-to-one #counselling. His counsellor set a clear structure and routine for when they met, with an introduction at the beginning and “check out” at the end, which helped Joe feel settled. As he gradually felt safer in this new environment, Joe began to talk more openly about his feelings. He now engages with activities, responds in a better way to his teacher, and has made friends. He also finds it easier to adapt to change. #parenting #parentingtips #anxiety #anxietyrelief 🔗 Read the stories of children, young people, counsellors and school staff on our website 👉 place2be.org.uk/stories (link in bio) * Joe’s name and photo have been changed for safeguarding purposes.
Loving reading your messages – this forum has been an amazing resource for material for the book with some of you appearing as ‘parent ponders’ in the book and I am so delighted you are now seeing yourselves in print ! Keep the stories coming .. it really does make all the hard work of writing worthwhile x #author #authorsofinstagram #parenting
Loving reading your messages – this forum has been an amazing resource for material for the book with some of you appearing as ‘parent ponders’ in the book and I am so delighted you are now seeing yourselves in print ! Keep the stories coming .. it really does make all the hard work of writing worthwhile x #author #authorsofinstagram #parenting
Loving reading your messages – this forum has been an amazing resource for material for the book with some of you appearing as ‘parent ponders’ in the book and I am so delighted you are now seeing yourselves in print ! Keep the stories coming .. it really does make all the hard work of writing worthwhile x #author #authorsofinstagram #parenting
Loving reading your messages – this forum has been an amazing resource for material for the book with some of you appearing as ‘parent ponders’ in the book and I am so delighted you are now seeing yourselves in print ! Keep the stories coming .. it really does make all the hard work of writing worthwhile x #author #authorsofinstagram #parenting
Attention parents! With the Easter holidays upon us, child therapist & counsellor @katesilverton is here with brilliant tips, wisdom & reassurance to help keep harmony in the family home this holiday, with her invaluable guide, There’s Still No Such Thing As Naughty: Parenting The Primary Years, which is available now and you can tap to shop! #parenting
Want to know more about dealing with SEPARATION ANXIETY ? Check out @happyplaceofficial today with @fearnecotton featuring a special audiobook extract from my book ‘theresstillnosuchthingasnaughty’ Link in bio – or check out @spotify @happyplaceofficial Full audio book is released on Thursday 28th March 🙏🏼 #parenting #parentingtips #separationanxiety #anxiety #anxietyrelief
