February 4th, 2011. // A lot changed after this photo. And if I’m honest, its taken 12 years to gratefully embrace the radical shifts. On one hand, the climb and avalanche launched a long and meaningful career with @natgeo I did 12 feature assignments for the magazine that affected policy and conservation. The the world opened up. I also took a lot of it for granted, often missing the moment, blinded by an onslaught of opportunity and arrogance. Just now am I really feeling the gravity of what I was offered. But the avalanche also led me into a long and often dark journey with complex post traumatic stress and acute PTSD, unraveling much of my inner world, influencing my actions, leading me to behave out of alignment with my values and virtue. All of that led me into my advocacy around mental health. I discovered that feigned vulnerability was a way to mask the inner turmoil. I had all the words, but none of the feelings. Speaking to it drove disconnection because I was was using vulnerability to hijack connection which drove isolation. By being “honest” and “authentic”, I could escape real accountability. I needed to go through it to understand. I was disconnected not only with the world around me, but with myself. In time, I learned what real authenticity looks and feels like. I learned that I can know it all, but knowledge isn’t healing. In fact, the knowing is often a trap, leading us into stories that hold us captive. Healing happens when we drop the story, stop hiding behind it to justify all the bullshit, and transcend the narrative. I see this a lot these days. One of the issues with the broader and much needed conversation around mental health is it gets used not to understand but excuse poor behavior. Choices are still ours. Stories are chosen. And even if actions feel out of our control, addressing the root issues is not. The work of mental health is not leveraging brokenness to sidestep responsibility. Brokenness itself is a story. Yes, things happen. Yes, they can change our brains. Our job is to care for and heal those wounds, understand our stories but not be defined by them, and bring us into alignment with ourselves.
On June 3, 1972 my parents were married. For 51 years, they’ve chosen love. And on the days when love was scarce, they chose patient commitment. I think a lot about what makes relationships last which seems rarer and rarer these days. Many people say communication. For me, and for my parents, it boils down to another word: safety. In safety, they’ve been able to overcome all that life has thrown at them from challenging children to cancer. Today I’m grateful for every decision they’ve made because without them, I would not be me. I inherited their curiosity, their deep appreciation for wild places, and their awe for the world and all its mystery. I’m proud of their example. Despite all the complexity of life, they’ve carried on, mostly smiling. Now, our family has crossed the threshold where every day is a gift. In these waning moments, I’ve watched them become more giving. Tonight is a full moon and they are celebrating under an Italian sky. They deserve it. Also, here’s some footage of dad eating gelato…
On June 3, 1972 my parents were married. For 51 years, they’ve chosen love. And on the days when love was scarce, they chose patient commitment. I think a lot about what makes relationships last which seems rarer and rarer these days. Many people say communication. For me, and for my parents, it boils down to another word: safety. In safety, they’ve been able to overcome all that life has thrown at them from challenging children to cancer. Today I’m grateful for every decision they’ve made because without them, I would not be me. I inherited their curiosity, their deep appreciation for wild places, and their awe for the world and all its mystery. I’m proud of their example. Despite all the complexity of life, they’ve carried on, mostly smiling. Now, our family has crossed the threshold where every day is a gift. In these waning moments, I’ve watched them become more giving. Tonight is a full moon and they are celebrating under an Italian sky. They deserve it. Also, here’s some footage of dad eating gelato…
On June 3, 1972 my parents were married. For 51 years, they’ve chosen love. And on the days when love was scarce, they chose patient commitment. I think a lot about what makes relationships last which seems rarer and rarer these days. Many people say communication. For me, and for my parents, it boils down to another word: safety. In safety, they’ve been able to overcome all that life has thrown at them from challenging children to cancer. Today I’m grateful for every decision they’ve made because without them, I would not be me. I inherited their curiosity, their deep appreciation for wild places, and their awe for the world and all its mystery. I’m proud of their example. Despite all the complexity of life, they’ve carried on, mostly smiling. Now, our family has crossed the threshold where every day is a gift. In these waning moments, I’ve watched them become more giving. Tonight is a full moon and they are celebrating under an Italian sky. They deserve it. Also, here’s some footage of dad eating gelato…
On June 3, 1972 my parents were married. For 51 years, they’ve chosen love. And on the days when love was scarce, they chose patient commitment. I think a lot about what makes relationships last which seems rarer and rarer these days. Many people say communication. For me, and for my parents, it boils down to another word: safety. In safety, they’ve been able to overcome all that life has thrown at them from challenging children to cancer. Today I’m grateful for every decision they’ve made because without them, I would not be me. I inherited their curiosity, their deep appreciation for wild places, and their awe for the world and all its mystery. I’m proud of their example. Despite all the complexity of life, they’ve carried on, mostly smiling. Now, our family has crossed the threshold where every day is a gift. In these waning moments, I’ve watched them become more giving. Tonight is a full moon and they are celebrating under an Italian sky. They deserve it. Also, here’s some footage of dad eating gelato…
As soon as we are trying to “practice non attachment”, we are already off course. We are rejecting our authentic experience. Practicing non attachment is detaching from reality. Pop-culture pseudoscientific spiritualism uses non attachment as a form of emotional bypassing: a rejection of the authentic human experience. Non attachment is not how the brain functions. That’s a story we don’t get to choose. Instead, when we arrive at “it is”, we slowly divorce ourselves from outcomes. It requires practice and patience. To be attached is to be human. We are literally and physically born attached to our mothers. It’s what creates strong, healthy bonds. We need attachment to survive. Emotional attachment is an evolutionary necessity, and all attachment is emotional. Unhealthy attachments are those that reject our deepest truths and side step what is. By giving the authentic experience a voice, we exchanged the pursuit of non attachment (fighting against ourselves) for deep authenticity (aligning with experience). That doesn’t mean we won’t suffer. We will. I’d argue that Buddha was not free from suffering sitting under a tree. He suffered deeply. He saw it clearly, felt it, and accepted it moment by moment. He didn’t manifest a better future. Each moment “manifested” naturally, leading to authentic non attachment. “It is”, no matter how uncomfortable, is authentic presence. Bypassing what “is” by chasing non attachment is, quite frankly, a bullshit trope that prolongs suffering. Being authentic doesn’t keep us stuck in sadness. Instead, it moves us through it. If I want to not be in pain, I first need to accept, really really accept that I am in pain and embrace it, moment by moment. Emotions are necessary and we actually can’t choose to simply step out of them. It’s a form of self betrayal. They will always come back in a different way at a later date. Instead, we choose to step into them. I’m quite comfortable being attached. When I admit to my attachments and engage with the suffering and joy they bring, I become less concerned with outcomes and I think this is called non attachment. Stop trying to “practice non attachment”. It’s like running after the horizon.
Link in Bio!!! 20″ x 26″ (SIGNED NUMBERED EDITION of 100) 5 color silkscreen print on 100# Cougar Smooth White Paper by the massively talented Ernesto Yerena @ernestoyerena based on one of my favorite images for National Geographic from an expedition to the Franz Josef Land Archipelago. @amplifierart is joining @natgeo and the Campaign for Nature’s conservation 30×30 initiative! This initiative – which is supported by over 100 countries worldwide – seeks to protect at least 30% of the planet’s land and oceans by the year 2030. Increasing the acreage of protected zones will help achieve habitat conservation goals while also reversing the negative impacts of biodiversity decline and climate change. Each purchase helps us get this artwork and accompanying lesson plans on conservation for FREE into thousands of classrooms across the U.S. and beyond!
Link in Bio!!! 20″ x 26″ (SIGNED NUMBERED EDITION of 100) 5 color silkscreen print on 100# Cougar Smooth White Paper by the massively talented Ernesto Yerena @ernestoyerena based on one of my favorite images for National Geographic from an expedition to the Franz Josef Land Archipelago. @amplifierart is joining @natgeo and the Campaign for Nature’s conservation 30×30 initiative! This initiative – which is supported by over 100 countries worldwide – seeks to protect at least 30% of the planet’s land and oceans by the year 2030. Increasing the acreage of protected zones will help achieve habitat conservation goals while also reversing the negative impacts of biodiversity decline and climate change. Each purchase helps us get this artwork and accompanying lesson plans on conservation for FREE into thousands of classrooms across the U.S. and beyond!
Link in Bio!!! 20″ x 26″ (SIGNED NUMBERED EDITION of 100) 5 color silkscreen print on 100# Cougar Smooth White Paper by the massively talented Ernesto Yerena @ernestoyerena based on one of my favorite images for National Geographic from an expedition to the Franz Josef Land Archipelago. @amplifierart is joining @natgeo and the Campaign for Nature’s conservation 30×30 initiative! This initiative – which is supported by over 100 countries worldwide – seeks to protect at least 30% of the planet’s land and oceans by the year 2030. Increasing the acreage of protected zones will help achieve habitat conservation goals while also reversing the negative impacts of biodiversity decline and climate change. Each purchase helps us get this artwork and accompanying lesson plans on conservation for FREE into thousands of classrooms across the U.S. and beyond!
Walrus, Franz Josef Land, Russia.
Walrus, Franz Josef Land, Russia.
The curb weight of the Porsche 356, the first Porsche automobile, was 1700 – 2,296 lbs. The weight of the Porsche name is much heavier. Ferdinand ‘Ferdi’ Porsche, an architect by trade and the great grandson of the company’s founder Prof. Ferdinand Porsche, is now adding his fingerprint to the family’s rich motor-sports legacy. At 30 yrs old, Ferdi defies all the seriousness and pomp of racing cars. He’s affable, warm, and almost boyish in his excitement. To put it bluntly, he’s ‘cool’ without effort, working hard to invite the next generation into the motorsports world. On February 24, Ferdi’s @fat.international held its first ice race in Zell am See, Austria, and has now followed it up in Aspen, Colorado. Over the past two days on an icy track in Carbondale, the @fat.icerace has included models from the @aetherapparel Half11 (half Porsche, half F1) to the Rivian R1T, to a host of various @mobil1 cars and drivers tearing around corners, over-steering, under-steering, and generally bringing joy as they spit rooster tails of snow from their tires. I watch as an enthusiast warm his hands in the exhaust of a loud engine. He brings them to his nose, closes his eyes and inhales deeply, letting his senses coalesce into something whole and visceral. Ferdi sits in his car nearby grinning. It’s an expression of sincere, palpable joy. As an arm drops, he accelerates onto the track. In a burst of exhaust, something old becomes new again. It’s a Herculean task and these are enormous shoes to fill, but Ferdi seems to be carrying the weight of legacy effortlessly.
The curb weight of the Porsche 356, the first Porsche automobile, was 1700 – 2,296 lbs. The weight of the Porsche name is much heavier. Ferdinand ‘Ferdi’ Porsche, an architect by trade and the great grandson of the company’s founder Prof. Ferdinand Porsche, is now adding his fingerprint to the family’s rich motor-sports legacy. At 30 yrs old, Ferdi defies all the seriousness and pomp of racing cars. He’s affable, warm, and almost boyish in his excitement. To put it bluntly, he’s ‘cool’ without effort, working hard to invite the next generation into the motorsports world. On February 24, Ferdi’s @fat.international held its first ice race in Zell am See, Austria, and has now followed it up in Aspen, Colorado. Over the past two days on an icy track in Carbondale, the @fat.icerace has included models from the @aetherapparel Half11 (half Porsche, half F1) to the Rivian R1T, to a host of various @mobil1 cars and drivers tearing around corners, over-steering, under-steering, and generally bringing joy as they spit rooster tails of snow from their tires. I watch as an enthusiast warm his hands in the exhaust of a loud engine. He brings them to his nose, closes his eyes and inhales deeply, letting his senses coalesce into something whole and visceral. Ferdi sits in his car nearby grinning. It’s an expression of sincere, palpable joy. As an arm drops, he accelerates onto the track. In a burst of exhaust, something old becomes new again. It’s a Herculean task and these are enormous shoes to fill, but Ferdi seems to be carrying the weight of legacy effortlessly.
The curb weight of the Porsche 356, the first Porsche automobile, was 1700 – 2,296 lbs. The weight of the Porsche name is much heavier. Ferdinand ‘Ferdi’ Porsche, an architect by trade and the great grandson of the company’s founder Prof. Ferdinand Porsche, is now adding his fingerprint to the family’s rich motor-sports legacy. At 30 yrs old, Ferdi defies all the seriousness and pomp of racing cars. He’s affable, warm, and almost boyish in his excitement. To put it bluntly, he’s ‘cool’ without effort, working hard to invite the next generation into the motorsports world. On February 24, Ferdi’s @fat.international held its first ice race in Zell am See, Austria, and has now followed it up in Aspen, Colorado. Over the past two days on an icy track in Carbondale, the @fat.icerace has included models from the @aetherapparel Half11 (half Porsche, half F1) to the Rivian R1T, to a host of various @mobil1 cars and drivers tearing around corners, over-steering, under-steering, and generally bringing joy as they spit rooster tails of snow from their tires. I watch as an enthusiast warm his hands in the exhaust of a loud engine. He brings them to his nose, closes his eyes and inhales deeply, letting his senses coalesce into something whole and visceral. Ferdi sits in his car nearby grinning. It’s an expression of sincere, palpable joy. As an arm drops, he accelerates onto the track. In a burst of exhaust, something old becomes new again. It’s a Herculean task and these are enormous shoes to fill, but Ferdi seems to be carrying the weight of legacy effortlessly.
The curb weight of the Porsche 356, the first Porsche automobile, was 1700 – 2,296 lbs. The weight of the Porsche name is much heavier. Ferdinand ‘Ferdi’ Porsche, an architect by trade and the great grandson of the company’s founder Prof. Ferdinand Porsche, is now adding his fingerprint to the family’s rich motor-sports legacy. At 30 yrs old, Ferdi defies all the seriousness and pomp of racing cars. He’s affable, warm, and almost boyish in his excitement. To put it bluntly, he’s ‘cool’ without effort, working hard to invite the next generation into the motorsports world. On February 24, Ferdi’s @fat.international held its first ice race in Zell am See, Austria, and has now followed it up in Aspen, Colorado. Over the past two days on an icy track in Carbondale, the @fat.icerace has included models from the @aetherapparel Half11 (half Porsche, half F1) to the Rivian R1T, to a host of various @mobil1 cars and drivers tearing around corners, over-steering, under-steering, and generally bringing joy as they spit rooster tails of snow from their tires. I watch as an enthusiast warm his hands in the exhaust of a loud engine. He brings them to his nose, closes his eyes and inhales deeply, letting his senses coalesce into something whole and visceral. Ferdi sits in his car nearby grinning. It’s an expression of sincere, palpable joy. As an arm drops, he accelerates onto the track. In a burst of exhaust, something old becomes new again. It’s a Herculean task and these are enormous shoes to fill, but Ferdi seems to be carrying the weight of legacy effortlessly.
The curb weight of the Porsche 356, the first Porsche automobile, was 1700 – 2,296 lbs. The weight of the Porsche name is much heavier. Ferdinand ‘Ferdi’ Porsche, an architect by trade and the great grandson of the company’s founder Prof. Ferdinand Porsche, is now adding his fingerprint to the family’s rich motor-sports legacy. At 30 yrs old, Ferdi defies all the seriousness and pomp of racing cars. He’s affable, warm, and almost boyish in his excitement. To put it bluntly, he’s ‘cool’ without effort, working hard to invite the next generation into the motorsports world. On February 24, Ferdi’s @fat.international held its first ice race in Zell am See, Austria, and has now followed it up in Aspen, Colorado. Over the past two days on an icy track in Carbondale, the @fat.icerace has included models from the @aetherapparel Half11 (half Porsche, half F1) to the Rivian R1T, to a host of various @mobil1 cars and drivers tearing around corners, over-steering, under-steering, and generally bringing joy as they spit rooster tails of snow from their tires. I watch as an enthusiast warm his hands in the exhaust of a loud engine. He brings them to his nose, closes his eyes and inhales deeply, letting his senses coalesce into something whole and visceral. Ferdi sits in his car nearby grinning. It’s an expression of sincere, palpable joy. As an arm drops, he accelerates onto the track. In a burst of exhaust, something old becomes new again. It’s a Herculean task and these are enormous shoes to fill, but Ferdi seems to be carrying the weight of legacy effortlessly.
Franz Josef Land, Russia.
Franz Josef Land, Russia.
A little handful of some of the best drivers around. Amazing to watch the talent of these four @mobil1racing athletes at the @fat.international @fat.icerace over the past two days…and just as fun to be able to photograph them. Big thanks to @aetherapparel as well for the support. 1: Stephane Ortelli @stephaneortelli 911 GT1 Porsche ‘98 Le Mans Winner 2: Jade Avedisian (17 yrs old!) @jade_avedisian GR86 car Toyota Ryan Tuerck @ryantuerck Toyota Stout GR Supra Loni Unser @loniunser “Lucy” 911 GT3 Twin Turbo
A little handful of some of the best drivers around. Amazing to watch the talent of these four @mobil1racing athletes at the @fat.international @fat.icerace over the past two days…and just as fun to be able to photograph them. Big thanks to @aetherapparel as well for the support. 1: Stephane Ortelli @stephaneortelli 911 GT1 Porsche ‘98 Le Mans Winner 2: Jade Avedisian (17 yrs old!) @jade_avedisian GR86 car Toyota Ryan Tuerck @ryantuerck Toyota Stout GR Supra Loni Unser @loniunser “Lucy” 911 GT3 Twin Turbo
A little handful of some of the best drivers around. Amazing to watch the talent of these four @mobil1racing athletes at the @fat.international @fat.icerace over the past two days…and just as fun to be able to photograph them. Big thanks to @aetherapparel as well for the support. 1: Stephane Ortelli @stephaneortelli 911 GT1 Porsche ‘98 Le Mans Winner 2: Jade Avedisian (17 yrs old!) @jade_avedisian GR86 car Toyota Ryan Tuerck @ryantuerck Toyota Stout GR Supra Loni Unser @loniunser “Lucy” 911 GT3 Twin Turbo
A little handful of some of the best drivers around. Amazing to watch the talent of these four @mobil1racing athletes at the @fat.international @fat.icerace over the past two days…and just as fun to be able to photograph them. Big thanks to @aetherapparel as well for the support. 1: Stephane Ortelli @stephaneortelli 911 GT1 Porsche ‘98 Le Mans Winner 2: Jade Avedisian (17 yrs old!) @jade_avedisian GR86 car Toyota Ryan Tuerck @ryantuerck Toyota Stout GR Supra Loni Unser @loniunser “Lucy” 911 GT3 Twin Turbo
The curb weight of the Porsche 356, the first Porsche automobile, was 1700 – 2,296 lbs. The weight of the Porsche name is much heavier. Ferdinand ‘Ferdi’ Porsche, an architect by trade and the great grandson of the company’s founder Prof. Ferdinand Porsche, is now adding his fingerprint to the family’s rich motor-sports legacy. At 30 yrs old, Ferdi defies all the seriousness and pomp of racing cars. He’s affable, warm, and almost boyish in his excitement. To put it bluntly, he’s ‘cool’ without effort, working hard to invite the next generation into the motorsports world. On February 24, Ferdi’s F.A.T. International held its first ice race in Zell am See, Austria, and has followed it up in Aspen, Colorado. Over the past two days on an icy track in Carbondale, the race has included models from the @aetherapparel Half11 (half Porsche, half F1) to the Rivian R1T, to a host of various Mobil 1 cars tearing around corners, over-steering, under-steering, and generally bringing joy as they spit rooster tails of snow from their tires. I watch as an enthusiast warm his hands in the exhaust of a loud engine. He brings them to his nose, closes his eyes and inhales deeply, letting his senses coalesce into something whole and visceral. Ferdi sits in his car nearby grinning. It’s an expression of sincere, palpable joy. As an arm drops, he accelerates onto the track. In a burst of exhaust, something old becomes new again. It’s a Herculean task and these are enormous shoes to fill, but Ferdi seems to be carrying the weight of legacy effortlessly.
Amongst the reading I’ve done, I’ve gone deep into polarity and the relationship between men and women, masculine and feminine, and what I see as one of the fundamental underpinnings of mental health. It’s been as much about understanding my own challenges as everyone else’s as I’ve dug into society’s contemporary view of masculinity vs what healthy masculinity can look like. As a result, I’ve started doing a lot of mens work (which I’d offer is women’s work as well insofar as healthy men make for a healthier society overall with less oppression and more compassion). There’s no real consensus on what overarching healthy masculinity looks like which creates a tremendous opportunity for reimagining it and breaking down antiquated beliefs and cultural structures that keep all of us in unhealthy cycles. I’ve also been both encouraged and disheartened to learn that what we call patriarchy is not strictly a male problem but is a cultural issue that we all uphold in ways seen and unseen. I believe that much of the mental health issues we face are rooted in the repression of male emotion that leads to male pain which leads to anger and ultimately violence, both physical and emotional. Our wounds become our weapons. The impacts of that are foundational in the perpetuation of trauma and mental health. This book dives into a piece of that puzzle and helps us understand why men don’t want to talk about it, how when they do it is often rejected, and how that spins us forever forward in a self fulfilling spin cycle of oppression, both of ourselves and others. It also offers solutions and gives us tools for healthier communication, inviting us into a dialogue that uplifts us all.
