Kate Silverton Instagram – What to do and say if your child tells you they are ‘sad’ or ‘upset’ but when you try to help or ask them ‘why?’ – they push you away saying ‘I DON’T KNOW!’
It can feel like a rejection – and trigger old feelings of rejection that we may have experienced ourselves in childhood … so be mindful of any ‘baboon’ ( anger / irritable ) feelings that might arise in response
Resist any immediate urge to say ‘oh well FINE then I was only trying to help !!! ( we’ve all been there !) and instead dig deep with your ‘wise owl’ ( pre frontal cortex ) and go into SOOTHE … letting your child know that ‘it’s ok’ sometimes we don’t have the words to explain how we feel .. but we can still sit with our feelings and let them feel ‘heard’ in the silence … if your child is lying down it can help them to feel grounded by placing a palm gently on their solar plexus … or just sitting / lying side by side … using soothing words and reassuring you will always be there … and ‘you’ve got them ‘… this can often be enough to soothe your child’s nervous system ( which is driving the behaviour ) and bring them to calm … trust that when they are ready, this response will be more helpful in seeing them come to you in the future with the words to tell you why they’re upset, rather than if you let your own ‘baboon’ ( our limbic brain ) take over instead !
Let me know if this resonates and if you can practice it – how you get on 🙏🏼♥️
#parenting
#parentingtips
#mentalhealth
#anxiety
#upset | Posted on 02/May/2024 15:39:16
