Kate Silverton Instagram – As parents we always want to alleviate our children’s worries and wobbles … of course we do, we never want to see our children in distress… but if we are too quick to try to FIX the problem – it doesn’t necessarily build resilience ( we want to help our children to find solutions ) and it can leave big feelings left ‘unexpressed’ and our child feeling unheard.
It’s why, as I explain in my book, it’s ok to ‘press into the emotional pain’ a child might be carrying – not because we are mean, but because it helps our children to sit with and ultimately work through big and often difficult emotions – but only with us by their side, listening, offering little other than our empathy and understanding.
We might say ‘oh my goodness that sounds difficult I wonder what that was like for you?’ Or ‘I imagine that must have felt really embarrassing I am so sorry you had to go through that alone today’ or ‘oh wow I can feel your hurt right here in my chest.. where did you feel it?’
Having what I call conversations that count, where we open up what may feel like painful conversations rather than shutting them down – actually helps to ‘exorcise’ difficult feelings and is much more likely to have our children feeling relieved of them and build resilience in time as our children realise they can come to us when they feel sad / worried / anxious – and we will offer them the space to explore the feelings and THEN support them to use their ‘little owl ‘ ( the pre frontal cortex) to find the solution themselves … I explain all this in detail in the book … ‘there’s STILL no such thing as naughty’ … it helps us to lend our wise owl in our children’s moments of overwhelm and demonstrates that, even in the most painful moments, they can still come through
#parenting #parentingtips #anxiety #compassion #feelings | Posted on 26/Apr/2024 21:13:22
