I was content to just let my monster roam the countryside hating dog photos but @robschrab wanted it back in the lab for more questions.
I was content to just let my monster roam the countryside hating dog photos but @robschrab wanted it back in the lab for more questions.
I was content to just let my monster roam the countryside hating dog photos but @robschrab wanted it back in the lab for more questions.
I was content to just let my monster roam the countryside hating dog photos but @robschrab wanted it back in the lab for more questions.
I was content to just let my monster roam the countryside hating dog photos but @robschrab wanted it back in the lab for more questions.
“Honey, wake up, get the dogs in the car.” “What happened?” “Trump has Biden surrounded.” “Give me your phone. Sweetie, no, he means his opponent is WILLINGLY surrounded by his OWN fascists.” “Biden’s own fascists have him surrounded?” “You’re misinterpreting the word surrounded” “Ooooh..” “This is a political insult, an accusation.” “Oh. Ooooooh, so it’s not, like, we got ‘im, boys -“ “No, honey, we talked about this, it’s campaign rhetoric, THEN election denial, THEN coup rhetoric, THEN coup attempt denial, we have months before the process gets physical, go back to sleep.” “I can’t. Too much adrenaline, I’m going to go next door and help Roger drink his champagne before it goes flat.” “Why did Roger open -? Is Roger Republican?” “Well he was calling himself undecided at holiday parties but he saw the headline and got a little…decidey.” “You’re going to drink with a man that prematurely celebrated the doomsday you’re prepping for -“ “I’m going to drink with a man whose CHILDREN play Xbox with ours, DIANE. The champagne doesn’t know why it’s open. We all had a false alarm because of bad media and now the community is healing let’s not get dramatic.”
Leaving mama laruso @randeeheller’s birthday dinner and @chaleyrose comes out to the sidewalk to politely introduce herself: (I’m paraphrasing:) “I was in a Hallmark movie you posted on Instagram where I get what looks like a dick and balls for Christmas.” (I repeat, that’s me paraphrasing). Posting the Hallmark clip, which @normalheller and I had to spend an Uber ride digging up. The movie is “A Christmas Duet.” I again apologize for my obnoxious laugh in the clip. Thank you for your service, Chaley, amazed to meet you, you will never pay for an egg nog in our company
Leaving mama laruso @randeeheller’s birthday dinner and @chaleyrose comes out to the sidewalk to politely introduce herself: (I’m paraphrasing:) “I was in a Hallmark movie you posted on Instagram where I get what looks like a dick and balls for Christmas.” (I repeat, that’s me paraphrasing). Posting the Hallmark clip, which @normalheller and I had to spend an Uber ride digging up. The movie is “A Christmas Duet.” I again apologize for my obnoxious laugh in the clip. Thank you for your service, Chaley, amazed to meet you, you will never pay for an egg nog in our company
@normalheller left for a week so nobody was here to caution me against overtwirling my Jobs Patch
The only upside to losing @normalheller for a week was going to be guilt-free snoring, which I now see was just a setup for the lowest stakes Twilight Zone ever
