Kate Silverton Instagram – We can all find change difficult – whether that’s starting a new job, if a friend moves away,or leaving our home to go on holiday.
It’s no different for our children – except they’re navigating life with a brain that’s less mature than ours – their ‘wise owl’ ( pre frontal cortex) is less developed than ours – it’s more ‘little owl’ and she’s still earning her wings
Our pre frontal cortex or what I think of as a wise owl – is the part of our brain that helps us to regulate our emotions and gives us a big picture perspective. It allows us to reassure ourselves that ‘it might feel difficult in my new job to begin with but it will get better with time – just as it did last time I changed jobs’ or ‘ I’m going to miss my friend terribly and I can feel sad, but I know I will see her again and we can keep in touch’ and ‘it always feels like this ahead of a holiday, I know I will enjoy it once I get there!’
We can reason with our anxiety and soothe ourselves – and we must help our children to do the same
But not by denying their feelings or diminishing them
Change and transitions can feel really big – and difficult – to navigate – so what to do to help ?
👉 sit with your child and gently let them know that even adults can find change difficult ( perhaps share some of your own examples when you have found change and transitions tough
👉 explain that our feelings around change are normal – we might feel excited, we might feel afraid – or even both !
👉 reassure your child you will be there every step of the way and they can come to you and share their feelings
👉 you may want to draw the feelings together – using colours or simple words to represent them ‘what colour do you think your wobbly feeling has ?’
👉 you may ask ‘and if this feeling could speak – what would it say?’
What we are trying to do is help our children to engage with their feelings – to experience them fully. We want to be there alongside so that our children know they won’t get lost in the fear or anxiety …. Because you are there to guide them .. and, importantly, you have felt these feelings too ( and still do !) but the message is ‘we can come through’
#anxiety #endofschoolyear | Posted on 30/Jun/2024 15:22:37
