Kate Silverton Instagram – Quick demonstration of S A S … from my book ‘there’s still no such thing as naughty’
When our children are in ‘fight’ or oppositional mode – you can trust it means their stress response has been triggered. It means their ‘thinking’ wise owl brain is not in charge. It’s why we often see such erratic, irrational behaviour. To bring our children safely back to calm we need to connect nervous system to nervous system because this is what’s driving the behaviour. It requires us to meet them where their energy is at in order to connect. So we raise our voice, not as though we are telling them off but just increase our energy to let them know we GET IT … ! We can ‘see’ how cross they are and we show them we understand ( even if we don’t always!) … when we can meet our children’s energy at the same level.. we can bring it back down – like a surfer riding a wave back into shore .. then we can boundary the behaviour ‘there’s no hitting or hurting sweetheart .. but can you show me how ‘cross’ you are using your words instead …?’
Very often our children feel so relieved that someone understands the big energy they’re feeling inside, they’ll blurt out whatever it is that has been troubling them … try it and let me know how you get on .. it can feel alien depending on how we ourselves were parented .. but the joy and relief of being understood will bond you and your child far more than sending them to their room to ‘cool down’ ever can … this is the way we help our children to regulate their emotions and start using their words to tell you how they feel, rather than use fists or feet instead …
#parenting #parentingtips #emotions | Posted on 04/Apr/2024 14:34:12
