Sarah Carter Instagram – Once upon a time I was an actor.
Everyday I would wake up at 4am and rush down to the hotel lobby to be picked up by my driver and wisked off to set.
When I’d arrive some young guy would ask me what I wanted for breakfast and show me to my trailer.
I would put my stuff down… books I’d rarely open… sometimes a guitar… usually a laptop… I would see if my wardrobe was laid out for me or hung in my closet and if it was necessary I would change… but usually I’d wait until the absolute last minute… as soon as my costume was on, parts of me were hidden… I loved watching them transform my face…warm coffee kicking in… my eyes would open as someone new with a fresh layer of mascara… I was awake… I was alive… I think that’s what I miss most… the rush… the size of the life… no home… home was whatever room wherever on the planet my luggage was left… and the bustle of the set… I loved everyone on the crew… the steady cam operators I really loved… there was an intimacy with them… we’d sort of dance… I liked being followed by the camera… sometimes after a close up… the camera operator would look at me like they maybe saw my soul… that’s what I miss… falling in love… over and over again with so many different people for different reasons… it was safe to fall in love… and mutual… everyone on set seemed to need that closeness… no attachments though… no expectations… just play… joy… warmth… oh man… I would fall so in love with my co-stars… I actually don’t think I wanted to fall in love in real life…
I did though… I fell in love and now I’m a wife… and a mother… and the imaginary worlds have noticeably disappeared and I’m left looking at where I really am… now I create from here… from home.
It’s funny… being an actress felt so important when it was totally, completely, and ridiculously unimportant… I’m laughing thinking about the exhaustion and the stress… It was so real though… the life… maybe I will be swept up again… and maybe again and again… but I will have found home… and will never again be so romantically and desperately lost… needing to make believe… which is a sad.
Happy New Year
May our greatest potential become our reality. | Posted on 29/Dec/2023 13:12:01
