Thuso Mbedu Instagram – I can’t stop thinking about sunflowers…
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See, I lost a cousin of mine last November. She was full of light, the sunshine in the family. One night we were having dinner as family and the next morning we were told she was gone. Car accident. I couldn’t post her on my socials because I wasn’t ready to make it real.
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Lunga reminds me of the Maritzburg sun. When I learned of his passing I raced to WhatsApp where I emailed our chats to myself and took as many screenshots of our convos as possible. Panicked, I saved all his voice notes: forgetting the sound of his voice wasn’t an option. My mind had convinced me that I’d wake up & WhatsApp would’ve have erased him just as quickly as he’d been taken from me & I was petrified. It took me a while to post about his passing because I couldn’t accept it. I then forced myself to do it thinking it would make it real… hoping it would help me breathe easier.
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… as I saw the posts about Mphowowo go up, I instinctively tried to preserve what I could. I needed to keep my mind preoccupied with SOMETHING because the silence holds the biggest torment. And there it was: our convo about sunflowers. See, I don’t even have a favorite flower but he was very team sunflower.
And so now I find myself thinking about sunflowers…
(Aside: I always thought it was cringe when people posted their convos with people who’ve passed… but I get it. They/we want you to get a glimpse of the heart of the person we came to love. Also… how does one paraphrase brilliance? You can’t.)
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None of my thoughts are coherent but I wanted to paint a picture to put things into perspective so that I can ask you to pray for Mpho’s beautiful family, his girlfriend and his inner circle of friends… They need your prayers. What I’m feeling is only a fraction of what I know they are feeling. So, humbly, please hold them in prayer. Pray for the Comforter to give them healing and peace that surpasses understanding.
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Finally, everyone has a story to tell so practice kindness. The same kindness you’ve extended to me, I ask that you extend to all.
Thank you
🌻 | Posted on 08/May/2024 07:33:17
