Shreya Dhanwanthary Instagram – I’m starting this new year by being vulnerable. I’ll admit I absolutely hate how I’m about to come off because I have little patience for social media revelations but hey, some good ol’ hypocrisy always helps shake things up a bit. All of us have seen and made end-of-year posts & reels; as have I. Yet, I feel inadequate. In my line, both failure and success are so loud that you can’t rest. You always have to be doing or be seen doing something. It’s set up that way. To make you feel out of shape, anxious, miserable, insecure and never being good enough, if you pause. And you can’t help but see all the opportunities that aren’t available to you. It hurts. But when I see my peers do well, I can’t help but feel happy ‘cos I know how hard it is. Because I love art. In every form. But I also feel frustrated with myself. Growing up, I never fit in. Still don’t. Art was the only outlet for my pain. So, I feel like I’m failing myself by not succeeding quickly. Yes, comparison is the thief of joy bla bla, but it’s sorta inescapable. Not to belittle my own professional milestones this year but it’s all an unending trap. The “business” part of art is a whole other universe. And my very real fear is a certainty of nothing. A fear of being someone who eventually fades from memory and never reaches the annals of prestige. The very act of feeling all this when the world burns, feels all the more hollow & selfish. If I put aside the pressures of being in the public eye (somewhat less notably), this video makes me realise it was, infact, a happy year. I’ve experienced many firsts. I’ve learned new skills & old lessons. I spent a lot of good time with my scarily aging parents & family, who are the best people in the world and are completely unaware that I’m a half decent person. I’ve been lucky to find people who tell me I don’t need new friends. I’ve found soulmates in more ways than one. I found the best Momo. Anyway, I just wanted to celebrate this year for all the people in my life because even when I feel small, you’re all there to make me feel titanic. We’ll see about that sinking feeling later. Thank you, I love you. I’ll do better. Happy New Year!