VJ Deepika Lakshmanapandi Instagram – Day 8 : Today, I need a break. I feel like crying all day, reflecting on my mistakes, memories, and the words that have deeply affected me. I have so many questions about myself – am I truly a bad person? Am I mentally unstable? Is it difficult for my loved ones to handle or control me? Do I have a lot of insecurities? Where did they come from? Why do I always feel alone? What am I afraid of? Losing people or losing myself? I believe in love, humanity, dreams, and God, but maybe that’s all wrong. I’m starting to doubt everything, and it’s making me afraid. I don’t have answers to any of my questions. Maybe I’ll find them in the healing process, or maybe not. But one thing’s for sure – I’m confused. I can’t handle this anymore. I can’t keep faking a smile. I just want to cry and let out all the emotions I’m holding inside. I need lots of love and hugs, but at the same time, I want to be alone. People talk about my reactions, but they don’t know the pressure I’ve been under all this time. I feel stuck, lost, and I don’t know what to do. I’ve run away to a place where no one knows me, where no one speaks my language, where no one can judge me based on my past or my feelings. But even there, I’m still stuck. I can’t forget or forgive, not even myself. I’m just a normal human. I make mistakes, I show my emotions, I feel love, hate, happiness, and sadness. It’s hard for me to begin and I’m lost on where to finish my writing. I feel so confused. I’m not sure what I should do next or where I can find some peace. It seems like I’m not seeking peace, but rather trying to avoid reality. I’m feeling lost and unsure of what to do or where it will all end.
#vjdeepika | Posted on 15/Jul/2024 15:40:29
