Sapna Pabbi Instagram – It’s taken me my entire life to accept myself as I am and especially my appearance in this social media era, as an actress and as an individual both. My open pores, uneven skin tone and adult acne. My thick but corse frizzy wavy hair; to which I would either add more curls or resort to straightening the life out of. Be it my puffy trauma eyes, my inability to pose for a picture or to take good angled selfie where I looked like myself or even my slightly lazy eye – yes, I have one! And the way my nerves would often show up in my eyes instead of the sparkle that I carried in them along with whatever life was happening.
When I was overwhelmed and busy trying to regulate my nervous system and mental health struggles, I’d have people (online and those who were very close to me) telling me I need to take care of myself referring to the appearance of my body or my face, which would naturally fluctuate with my emotions.
As the digital age grew I ran in the opposite direction finding myself more and more conscious of myself and the way I looked or came across on social media to the point I’d rather hide away than have my fragile heart and ego be flabbergasted with the opinions of others. I admire those who’ve mastered social media as the great tool it is and take amazing pictures, create, edit and post with such ease and grace; just turns out I’m not one of them. And that’s okay. The constant feeling of running in a race of instant gratification made me extremely anxious as I was going through some real life journeys and couldn’t eventually keep up over here or even think about what I should be posting on social media. It lead to losing acting projects, followers and so on; but it also lead me to peace of mind and detachment from external factors determining what I must be or share. I would even have friends and colleagues telling me that if I’d just flash my legs or cleavage once in a while on social media things would turn around, but my being wouldn’t succumb to it.
Here’s to slowly accepting, surrendering and finding my way back to me and allowing myself to do what feels aligned with me and my frequency. I am for me first. Hope this resonates. Love you 💖 | Posted on 10/Aug/2024 15:36:21
